There We Are Then

[mummy917]

A follow on from my previous 3 threads; “my husband said he wanted to split up and I’ve been totally blindsided”.

What an idiot, and I so want him to be There We Are Then!

I really wouldn’t be ‘lending’ him your potties. He most certainly can afford to buy two, I don’t believe all his ‘no money til the end of the month’ gumpfh. It won’t make a tad of difference to his (lack of) intention to support potty training when the twins are with him. And he won’t return them to you.

When he bemoans lack of funds just shrug your shoulders and say you’re sure he will manage to sort things out. Followed, of course, by ‘there we are then’!

me neither. They can poop on his carpet.

It’s honestly like these guys are cloned from the same master cell…
I saw this the other day..: can’t verify the claims but it makes total sense to me. Force dads to be totally involved from day 1 and see what happens to their connection/understanding of what’s involved with day to day life. According to this, divorce rates dropped by 30%

How soon before he misses an MOT, Tax, Insurance renewal do we think? Of course it will be @mummy917‘s fault because she hasn’t reminded him - god she’s so controlling like that…

I also foresee birthdays and Christmases without presents from Dad (or token presents at best) as he hadn’t thought to save and instead decided to get a new tattoo.

Enjoy your walk/coffee this morning, I bet you can’t wait to get the children back at 10am. I hope the first day of potty training goes well.

I advised him last year to sign up for the text messaging service for the dvla as he missed his MOT last year and was almost a month out of date by the time I remembered too.

Thank you, I’m heading out of the house now and taking myself to the big Tesco as it opened at 6, as I still have a feeling he will try to turn up at 7am.

And I’ve just gotten a notification from my Google doorbell that he was at my front door at 7:07. Knew it.

You do realise the MOT will conveniently be booked during his time with the kids though so he will unfortunately not be able to have them that week.

Have fun at Tesco, it’s madness you have to leave the house just so he doesn’t drop the kids off early.

Of course he did that. What an absolute Twatoo. He’s so boringly predictable.

That’s madness, you told him you were busy. Has he text you? If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t mention it unless he brings it up.

You told him 10.00am, didn’t you (sorry, I can’t keep up, addled brain here)? What are you expecting him to do now? He surely (hopefully) won’t leave the children on the doorstep waiting for you all by themselves? Will he call you controlling for not being there when he decided you should be, even though that was not your original agreement? He really is a There We Are Then.

The gall of this man

Also when he demands to know where you were at 7am just tell him that’s no longer his business. What you do during your child free time is completely up to you. You don’t ask him where he is when the children aren’t with him, so you’d appreciate he afforded you the same curtesy.

As hard as it is, please don’t agree to go home early. You told him you were not available until the agreed time, he recognised it with a thumbs up. There is no misunderstanding here, he has just decided to trample over the agreement and do what he wants regardless. If you go back home now, he will do this every time.

I expect he'll be messaging you soon demanding to know why you're not home when he told you he needed to drop the DC off at 7am...
Despite you batting that back and saying 'no, 10am as we agreed, I have plans until then'...

This is so important, @mummy917 - you're basically training him to respect your agreement, and boundaries set.
I now you'd be very happy to have more time with them, but there may be other things agreed that you really DO need him to stick to. So the training is very necessary.

Well done for going out early. I bet he's fuming...
There We Are Then.

I’m wondering what he is saying to the children about why mummy isn’t there…

This with bells on OP

This. He likes a bit of control himself, doesn't he?

😂😂😂 and none of us are surprised.

I'd be tempted to message him, asking why on earth he's turned up with the DC 3 hours early? When you specifically told him, when he said wanted to drop them at 7am, that you wouldn't be there until 10am, as per your agreement? And he acknowledged that?

Make him explain it.

Obviously it's because he thinks HIS wants must always come first.
But he can't say that.

And it's not an emergency, or he would have rung you.

So, why??

(Clearly his mum wasn't interested in early Friday morning babysitting).

I'm so glad you went out, OP. He really needs to learn that the agreement is the agreement. It's essential you establish this early. Well done.

Please stay in Tesco, OP! Or anywhere, other than home. He has to learn.

I am so annoyed on your behalf.
It’s pretty clear who is controlling here- he does what he wants when he wants, and forces things until he has his way.
i hope you’re ok. I imagine he might have sent you messages and be making you feel guilty.

Hoping OP has her phone turned off until 10 🤞🏻

Oh dear. 😆

Well done for not being in!!