There We Are Then

[mummy917]

A follow on from my previous 3 threads; “my husband said he wanted to split up and I’ve been totally blindsided”.

Yes this!

I think he's trying to bait you OP. He's not got a reaction out of you so far and he keeps trying. There We Are Then.

I’m sure that when he envisaged his life after the split he imagined you being as compliant and willing to fit around his wishes as you had always been. His new reality must be a bit of a shock to him. There we are then.

Make sure you’re out, and not home until 9:59. Looking into my crystal ball, I believe he’ll rock up at 9:30 to assert his dominance over you. Don’t give him the opportunity.

Please please be out by 7 in case he decides to chance it thinking you’ll probably be in anyway and won’t turn your children away.

You're doing amazingly OP. Well done for sticking to boundaries. I swear at first they push it just to see how much they can get away with in the future.

You're doing so well! 💪🏼 Honestly, in awe. You're doing all the things it took me far to long to do when I split up with my son's dad!

Even with the inevitable ups and downs, you're going to get to a point where it feels easy x

Glad you’ve said no!
I would have said you were meeting up with someone for a spot of breakfast and a walk, and that it’s not possible to rearrange as you’d rather meet them when the children are with him at this stage.
And then watch him have a melt down 🤣

I think he was planning to deliver them half asleep in pjs, so he didnt have to do the whole breakfast, teeth, hair, clothes routine. X4.
He will soon have had enough of 50/50.

@mummy917

This. You need to be out. It would be too hard on you to be cowering behind your new beautiful sofa and hearing the bell ring and not answering.

Go for breakfast somewhere. Take a good book.

Do you have a Ring doorbell? You should get one if you don't. If you do, be sure you have changed the owner of the account to you and also changed the master password.

Good for you OP saying you have plans.

Agreed times should be stuck to unless of severe illness or emergency because a consistent routine is important to the kids.

Just keep sticking to those boundaries, keeping all replies kid focused and schedule focused. Your reply is fine, any time he asks just say no, keep those boundaries and routines there for the kids.

He's so selfish and flaky.

Are you actually going to be out Friday morning until 10am?

This.

And this.

Don’t make it too easy for him. It needs to be sustainable and for you not to be run ragged… he can give them breakfast…

Hahaha, ooh I like it! Loving all the acronyms 🤣 we are all lyricists with the right motivation! It’s fun isn’t it?

Nah I won’t do any more thread specific songs. I mean, how many songs does this twat deserve written about him anyway tbf lol.

BUT…you all did kinda inspire me to make a general diva/one for the girlies ALBUM! 💿 💿 💿

I will put it up for stream/download (usual streaming sites) when complete.
But I’m only 3 songs into atm!

INSTAGRAM: CeCeandtheVipers

instagram.com/ceceandthevipers/

(There’s absolutely nothing on it atm but I’ll fill it out later and keep you updated there I just wanted there to be somewhere for us to chat without derailing ops thread).

If you don’t use instagram you can drop me a pm if you might be interested and I’ll link you to the album at release xx

but please don’t spam ops thread here.

@mummy917 omg, his selfishness just seems to know no bounds. I don’t know where you found the willpower not to laugh in his face when he wanted you to hang around him at the sports day. How are things going with his mum? I did wonder if maybe you could have used her as a go between if he’s saying no to the app? But I guess that might out work out just as tricky depending on what she’s like. Has she even bothered to see if you are ok?

This!!

@mummy917

He surely won’t leave them on your doorstep?

He needs to learn 10am means 10am.

And please don’t feel the need to explain why not. ‘No. See you at 10am’.

He’s scrabbling to try to assert some control.

No.

Make sure you keep notes of any times he tries to change the child arrangements with you, or screenshot his messages for future reference. My ex-wife used to do this to me, when it was my time with the kids, she'd demand them back earlier, or stop them from staying overnight with me during the week, as in her words, it would disrupt their routine, even though they only lived in the same area. She'd also send me vile messages to try and bait me into an argument. I'd always send a neutral message in reply, and always screenshot the messages just incase they were needed. We agreed child arrangements in a Mediation meeting, but I wish at the time I'd have applied for a court order instead. Thankfully the kids a lot older now and we're past that stage. They know how much I love them, and know they're more than welcome here anytime.

I believe he’ll rock up at 9:30

I think he'll be there at 7am

I'd make sure that you're out, and that you've taken your car - so it's obvious that you're not there @mummy917.

Does he still have keys to the house? (Can't remember if you've already posted about that). Wouldn't put it past him to let himself in.

Another possibly acronym:

A
Reasonable
Solution,
Evidently.

Christ, he is incredibly self absorbed. Now is the time for you to enforce your boundaries. Make sure you are out of the house well before 7am on Friday in case he just turns up. Better still, can you stay somewhere else the night before?

Can't
Understand
New
Time?

ETA

Or

Can't
Use
New
Time.

Follow by "Have to stick to the original."

Exactly this, don't start justifying yourself to him.

Perfect! But no further explanations OP. He is pushing your boundary shamelessly and does not deserve to know where you are and why, going forward. Next time just say he needs to keep to 10am. or whatever agreed time is.🌸

"I'll be seeing my therapist until 9.45 thanks to you"