Do all men want it all the time?

[Justaquestionplease]

DH and I have been together for 15 years...we probably have sex 1-3 times a week. Occasionally less, rarely more. I'd happily have more but I'm absolutely fine with this....he is also happy with this.

However all I seem to read on posts here, in the media and amongst other women is how their husbands want sex all the time and can't leave them alone. My DH doesn't want sex all the time. He is not constantly all over me. All these things I read now just make me insecure. Why doesn't he when all other women's husbands want sex all the time? Am I ugly? Is there something unattractive about me? Now I know objectively I'm not ugly... I'm conventionally attractive and still get chatted up by men if I go out. But I just can't help but wonder what is so wrong with me compared to all these other women who have rampant husbands? It really gnaws away at my self esteem.

So I guess my question is...do all men want sex all the time? If you're in a long term relationship is your DH more like mine? I feel like a freak as a woman.

Oh I agree that the OP’s behaviour is pretty crap. Can’t say I’d be sexually attracted to someone who behaves as @Justaquestionplease has admitted to behaving on this thread (so goodness knows what other type of behaviour not admitted to)

but the husband seems to know the score - just ignore, eye roll, shrug, get on with his life

Are you able to accept that a) everyone is different. b) it's ok and even good that everyone is different c) these differences have no bearing on your worth or attractiveness?

I haven’t read all the comments, just your posts op. I say this kindly, your behaviour is likely putting your DH off. My ex husband was someone who wanted sex more than I did, he pestered me and groped me, and sulked when I said no - and it was such a turn off. It doesn’t feel like you’re desired when someone constantly pesters you. It’s not about you at all, or how attractive they find you - it’s about their needs. The more he did it, the less I wanted sex. I really think you need some counselling to help with your sense of self worth. I know you’re busy, but you must make time for this. It’s essential. Otherwise you’re in real danger of pushing away your DH permanently.

In theory yes...in practice his behaviour makes me feel like a freak. Like every other woman in the world is constantly batting off her husband's advances while I'm wishing mine would do more.

Where do you get this idea from? You need to go over to the sex board and read the sexless marriage thread. Lots of women on there ehose husbands haven’t touched them in years! I am not sure why you want your husband to be a sex pest!

This has got to be a reverse

every other woman in the world is constantly batting off her husband's advances

Why do you constantly ignore all the people telling you this isn't true?

If you have kids and run a household together then I feel like sex drives are more likely to be evenly matched if you are equally matched in childcare, mental load, housework etc.

DH and I both work and are equal in all the above and we both feel the same regarding when we feel like having sex or not. We’re 1-3 times a week, same as you.

It sounds like your drives aren't matched, so it's a bit doomed.

I'd get the ick if my husband pestered me for sex all the time.

Very childishly of me, today I purposely googled a dating app for married people and left it on my phone and "accidentally" left it next to him on the sofa. He just rolled his eyes at me.

My sex drive for my partner would have shrivelled up and died if he behaved like you @Justaquestionplease in this scenario

Even more so as it's just the latest example of a series of emotionally manipulative, passive-aggressive game playing by the OP. If her DH was on here I'd be telling him he should LTB.

Ultimately the DH is cracking on with his life despite the sex-pestering, whereas it’s @Justaquestionplease left playing silly games. So I guess that is her “punishment”

I think you are a bit OCD and need to move sex further to the back of your relationship. Life and marriage is more than sex. Concentrate more on the communication side of things, you are pressuring your DH into something he doesn't want continually. I can see that you are nagging him and he is getting fed up with you. Leave him alone about sex otherwise he will probably leave. This is no way to live.