ASMR am I allowed to be upset?

[Sunnyday410]

Good afternoon
I am looking for some prospective please.
I dont know if I am being irrational.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years live together ect.
I know he used to listen to Asmr before we met, I found out today he has still been listening to it. I didn't know. It is a woman talking and whispering one title was "tingles all over your head".
He works nights so we dont always sleep together. When I found out I was and still am so upset. I know it is my feelings but I cant help it. I know people have made it sexual. I think in this case it is purely for relaxation.
It has sent me on a major spiral. Please calm me down. I feel so unwanted and hurt.

There is NOTHING sexual about ASMR.

Why would your partner listening to non-sexual relaxation videos send you into a major spiral?

Is he allowed to listen to female singers? Newsreaders? How about an audiobook read by a woman?

I don't get it. Why is a relaxation excercise a threat to you?

You can’t be for real…

Do you think the s in asmr stands for sex?

errrrrrrrr. No.

Who and where are these people who have "made it sexual", and why are you taking notice of them? Personally, ASMR often makes my skin crawl and I dislike it for that reason, but I've never detected anything particularly sexual or erotic in it. Perhaps I've just led a sheltered life.

I had absolutely no idea what this was so asked my DS who is 15 he gave me an example of Billie Eilish so don't think there is anything particular wrong with it, but didn't even know what it was.

Poor man. Leave him to it.

Eh? What’s Billie Eilish got to do with it? This whole thread is weird.

I enjoy watching lengthy videos of people using tweezers to pull dead crispy leaves off large succulent plants. You'd be hard pushed to find anything even remotely sexy about that. 😂

This is the first time I've heard of ASMR being described as sexual

So some woman talking to him whilst he is in bed all softy softy talking about cuddles or head tingling an attractive woman and I am not allowed to be upset

You’re sexualising ASMR.. people come up on my TikTok doing ASMR with hair brushes and all kinds of stuff, never seen anything sexual.

your boyfriend must think you’ve lost the fucking plot.

Wow. A lot of dismissive responses here. I get where you’re coming from: it feels quite intimate, even if it’s not sexual. More like an emotional affair than a physical one. But it isn’t either. Think of it like a lullaby. The soothing song of a mother rather than a lover.

You mean she's talking to him live, and personally? So it's not a recording on YouTube or something?

New special interest unlocked 👌

Thats incredibly rude. I dont deserve that i cant help how I feel and I assume your a man

ASMR and emotional affairs 😂 I’ve seen it all for today.

Some of her music could be considered ASMR and she has done collaborations with ASMR artists I was giving an example.

That’s a strange assumption. If I were your therapist I would be wanting to dig into that.

Are you confusing ASMR with BDSM?

Did you not read the rest of what I wrote?

She is not really there, is she? Some ASMR artists do wear low-cut tops, but it's nothing that you can't see on a hot day at the beach. I don't even look at the screen when I am having an imaginary scalp inspection. It's just role-play for relaxation.