ASMR am I allowed to be upset?

[Sunnyday410]

Good afternoon
I am looking for some prospective please.
I dont know if I am being irrational.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years live together ect.
I know he used to listen to Asmr before we met, I found out today he has still been listening to it. I didn't know. It is a woman talking and whispering one title was "tingles all over your head".
He works nights so we dont always sleep together. When I found out I was and still am so upset. I know it is my feelings but I cant help it. I know people have made it sexual. I think in this case it is purely for relaxation.
It has sent me on a major spiral. Please calm me down. I feel so unwanted and hurt.

I would not be bothered at all in a jealous way but I would think he was weird for wanting to listen to that as it is very strange.

Only 20-40% of people experience ASMR. Its a tingly feeling in the back of your head/neck and it's really relaxing. I started experiencing it when I was about 5. I personally hate that type of ASMR though and it makes me want to punch her. Old school ASMR from 15 years ago is much better, not this new shit!

You are allowed to be obviously, but it is batshit.

Have skipped through the clip and it doesn't seem sexual?

Because it's not intimate? It's literally just relaxation. Like yoga nidra or guided meditation. I like listening to ASMR to go to sleep. I don't even hear what they are saying. That's kind of the point!

I 100% agree with the poster you've quoted, and I am a woman.

Is he wanking while he listens to it?

Sorry but you're being really daft. It's no different to listening to music.

He said not

YABVU
What are your thoughts on him watching porn?

So am I unreasonable for wanting to leave him

I showed a clip to adult dd once and she said "Well that was an itch I didn't know needed scratching!"😁

You can leave him for any reason you want.

You don't need approval from anyone else.

Your dealbreakers are up to you.

Easiest yes I’ve ever given on here OP.

100% but you would be doing him a favour if you are going to be getting upset over nothing and giving him grief about it.

If you want to leave him, leave him. You don’t need a good/reasonable reason for that, or any reason at all.

Sounds like he needs some relaxation if you’re like this about something very minor.

It's not real.

If they were sleeping with you would they use it? I'm assuming that's a no from what you've said. So point is it's something to help them sleep. If they were reading a smutty book to help them sleep would that bother you?

Neither are real. What you have is.

Edited for typo

Leave him if you want but leaving him over this is madness😂 are you going to leave every man who listens to music, audiobooks, podcasts etc🤣

I assume that was in response to me.

Right, so the content is not sexual, he's not having a wank and he uses it to go to sleep.

Honestly you need to work on your self esteem - are you very young?

When I was about 20 I used to think if my BF had a wank (which is ostensibly more than is going on here) it was some kid of reflection on how he felt about me and that he should always want to have sex with me instead. In hindsight I was very insecure and I grew out of that madness.

No, you should leave him, because you are going to make his life a nightmare due to your own insecurity and controlling ways.

Yes. It's a sleep aid. I take tablets, if asmr worked for me I'd rather do that.

I love ASMR videos, they semd me into a completely relaxed, tingly state.

I listen to various kinds - scratching and tapping sounds, yoga style music, and whispering like this one.

Not for one minute have I considered that this is cheating on my DH. I'm sorry OP but you are being ridiculous.

I am in my early forties with a young son

Having watched it is is a bit weird but actually I quite like it and might give it a go tonight!! And I'm a very hetero woman.