ASMR am I allowed to be upset?

[Sunnyday410]

Good afternoon
I am looking for some prospective please.
I dont know if I am being irrational.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years live together ect.
I know he used to listen to Asmr before we met, I found out today he has still been listening to it. I didn't know. It is a woman talking and whispering one title was "tingles all over your head".
He works nights so we dont always sleep together. When I found out I was and still am so upset. I know it is my feelings but I cant help it. I know people have made it sexual. I think in this case it is purely for relaxation.
It has sent me on a major spiral. Please calm me down. I feel so unwanted and hurt.

Ahaha no you are not allowed to be upset. I use ASMR. The whole point is tingles! Its NOT sexual. Some people's tingles are triggered by the word tingle hence why she says tingles all over your head. It often starts in the head - like the feeling of someone cracking an egg on your head and the tingle ripples down. It is NOTHING to be upset or ashamed over

ASMR is a meditation… it would be like a man getting jealous because his girlfriend listened to a bible app with a man’s voice… it’s not a sexual thing.

The main problem here is that you're that controlling that you even know about this. It's a bloody youtube video.

Same. I'm sitting here thinking everything I think I have seen it all on mumsnet ...

Wow, ok, I am sorry you feel this way at your age. You are worth more than worrying about how your partner chooses to get to sleep. Not everything he does is a reflection on how he feels about you.

As a woman I’ll tell you to grow up.

If it’s an issue for you, dump him so he can find someone better who isn’t pathetic about what he watches. You’d be doing him a favour.

I watched the video as no clue what OP was on about. It’s weird as fuck.

God, ASMR has moved on leaps and bounds since the virtual barbershop.

I am a man (for what that is worth). That youtube video did nothing for me. Sexual or otherwise. I could possibly see how it could make someone go to sleep though, so if he puts it on using headphones to do that, I could see it would be useful. Personally, I just put on a rom com and set the TV timer which helps me get to sleep.

I honestly think you're over reacting. As a previous poster said, you are entitled to feel how you feel, but it depends what tour desired outcome is. If this is a hill you are prepared to die on, then bin him and find someone who uses differently methods of sleep inducement. If not, forget about it and move on.

I would say that you are lucky to have such a minor issue to be worried about. Heaven help you if something serious comes along.

This has to be a wind up surely? No one is this jealous irrational and insecure.

if this is genuine, you need to seek help op.

I watch ASMR of a man counting my freckles and measuring my face. Never once has my partner expressed jealousy or worry.

Gibi ASMR is an absolutely amazing creator.

You can leave a partner for any reason you want.

Generally speaking people can help how they feel by reframing their thoughts and they can also recognise that not all feelings are valid. Feelings by their very nature can be unreliable

It's arguably never unreasonable to want to leave a relationship.

I don't think this is what you think it is (even with stuff like "can I stay with you", it doesn't seem any different to me to listening to a song with sexy lyrics in the second person, or reading a bonkbuster) but if it makes you miserable and you can't get over it, I guess there's no point sticking around. But I think you're going to have trouble finding a man who never enjoys as much as the sound of another woman's voice.

Honestly you should leave him if you can't get over this. Anything else is controlling.

I mean, do you WANT to stay up whispering creepily to him for hours?

Wouldn’t you rather sleep?

Absolutely , and you don’t make it the other persons problem, basic logic should tell the op she’s got issues.

Just when I think I’ve heard every oddity MN throws up we get this. OP your feelings are of course your feelings but it does not make them right or acceptable. It is unhinged to believe ASMR is sexual. I personally hate it because I fall in the small category of people where it gives me rage. If you said I can’t bear listening to it because it makes me super agitated before bed fine but as a proper grown up give your head a wobble. What else do you tell him not to do because it makes you jealous? I bet it’s long list.

This is such a non issue I have difficulty believing its a real post? Surely not....

I maybe 50% buCourse it’s sexual The low cut tops / the camera focuses on/

watch what he’s watching

You don’t need to know everything, you’re his partner not jailer.

Give over

I love ASMR and there is only one male on YouTube that works for me. I much prefer female voices, and I'm a straight female. I'm surprised at your age, I would have assumed you were younger as you seem very immature.

Thank you for the words believe when I say I have had my face share of upset in my life , I just cant seem to let this go

I don't get ASMR tingles from voices or tapping, for me it's watching massages. So I am often to be found watching a woman massage another woman. I am probably the most heterosexual woman you could meet.

It's not sexual. If you don't 'get' ASMR it might seem weird to you, but then motorbikes seem weird to me - we all have our own particular likes and dislikes.