husband told me he is leaving me

[beingtakenforafool]

Looking for a hand hold. Husband just told me today he’s leaving me and doesn’t love me anymore, well still cares but not in love with me. Im devastated and don’t know where to go from here. i can’t stop crying and he won’t consider counselling, time or anything like that as apparently been feeling like it for 6 months, but didn’t think to tell me

Imagine being ‘unhappy for years’ and not having the ability or desire to improve the relationship or leave. Sounds like a loser or a liar.
I do think most women know the lines cheaty husbands come out with. I also wonder if some people kid themselves that only unhappy people cheat (they don’t, cheating is far more complex). Unhappy people don’t always cheat. Happy people sometimes cheat. It’s the person who decides whether they can justify cheating. If he hid it he knows it’s wrong.
The first person he lied to was himself. Unless he faces up to that and realises he chose to be a liar and cheat then he is unlikely to be a good partner

100%
I also think most cheaters are cowards. There are very few circumstances when I can look generously upon someone who cheats.

One is an abused partner who's too beaten down or frightened to leave. The other is someone who cheats unexpectedly and comes clean, facing the consequences.

@beingtakenforafool

The more he does though the more he pushes his kids further away, once they go too far they may never come back.

To paraphrase; "What shall it profit a man if he shall gain public approbation (with lies) but lose his own children".

I've known more than one cheater who, after they 'came down' from their need to play the victim and the 'high' of outing their 'new' (HA!) relationship, was absolutely gobsmacked to find that their own children wanted nothing to do with them. And that they had formed a loving and protective 'fortress' around their innocent parent.

I wonder if you might be exempt from all or some of the cost of divorce?
If you look up fee exemption on gov.uk you can put your finances into a calculator and it will tell you if you're exempt in any way.
It may mean you have less that you need to save up to pay for the divorce.

I get it. It hurts. Even the neutrality hurts.

Even people who’ve has blatantly lied to believe nothing happened til after he left me.
By socialising with them they are legiti
izing the lies and it really hurts.
id like to say it gets better and im sure it does but im not there yet.

yes it really does. But the vocal ones supporting him gets to me more.
just deleted him or blocked on anything I still had if he wants to deal with divorce can all be done via solicitors now
he still maintains he did not cheat and I overreacted, is this cheating or at least a huge betrayal of trust at minimum, and this is just what I know of .
deleted some messages within a chat over one night - why only some
sent flirty messages back and forth one day- claimed banter - it was more than banter, provocative at very least- this was also why he had promised no contact with said person.
flirted with person in front of me - apparently i imagined that
met them behind my back , telling me they were elsewhere and then lied when confronted.
within 3 weeks of moving out in a relationship with same woman. even now he gets me questioning my reality, I am so beaten down by it all.

He isn't going to tell you the truth about the other woman. You are right to end all communication with him. People only have the power you give them so ignore the other people he talks to they are not important but your own friends and family are ..take care of yourself