Page 21 | husband told me he is leaving me

beingtakenforafool · 2026-02-24T22:29:28+00:00

Looking for a hand hold. Husband just told me today he’s leaving me and doesn’t love me anymore, well still cares but not in love with me. Im devastated and don’t know where to go from here. i can’t stop crying and he won’t consider counselling, time or anything like that as apparently been feeling like it for 6 months, but didn’t think to tell me

Massivescreen · Yesterday 15:25

Sorry to hear this OP. The same thing happened to me early March. Again he said nothing physical before he told me he was leaving. To be honest I feel nonchalant as to whether it was physical or not, because the outcome is still the same. Ie he left me for someone else. Really awful, I was blindsided and like someone else said, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

CocksBolingey · Yesterday 15:39

beingtakenforafool · 24/02/2026 22:39

there has been some contact with another women but he is adamant nothing is going on, but admits that he overstepped boundary with couple messages , but it doesn’t count as he doesn’t like her or her him. I think it plays a part in this , even if he is telling the truth and there is nothing , its played its hand in it

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

He is an asshole.

Thewookiemustgo · Yesterday 17:20

@BippidyBoppety I’d have replied “Really? Well apparently, mine cheats on me.”

Original poster

beingtakenforafool · Yesterday 19:59

if im being kind and looking at it objectively, our marriage did have its ups and downs and when it was good it was good and when bad it was bad, but I thought we could fix things and learn and not saying I was perfect either. however leaving is one thing , leaving for someone else is what hurts more. if he was really unhappy why did he not leave before, why only when someone to run to. if he just left with no one else , we could be amicable , his children would still respect him and in time I would have truly wished him well. but the lying is what gets me, he had plenty of chances to at least be honest, shit happens but its how you deal with that in my opinion that counts, if you can acknowledge what you have done and apologise , explain and not lie that goes a long way.

OP posts:

BippidyBoppety · Yesterday 20:30

I think it's that thing of not wanting to be part of the sad gits club - not wanting to admit to being the one that is looking for someone else - the one that walks away from wife / family for the shiny new toy. The Alan Rickman / Emma Thompson in Love Actually - I watch it now and that scene of her sobbing in the bedroom really resonates.

He'll be looking around for reasons to blame you, OP, for his weaknesses. Don't bite, this man is a coward.

Glitterbugsy · Yesterday 21:21

To me it sounds like this is going to end in tears. His tears. I ‘m betting on him waking up and wondering what he’s done at some point.

Wishing you all the best OP you sound like you’re in the process of carving out a nice new life for yourself.

Hogglehedge · Yesterday 22:16

Sending love and hugs OP xxx keep strong xx

Thewookiemustgo · Yesterday 23:05

beingtakenforafool · Yesterday 19:59

if im being kind and looking at it objectively, our marriage did have its ups and downs and when it was good it was good and when bad it was bad, but I thought we could fix things and learn and not saying I was perfect either. however leaving is one thing , leaving for someone else is what hurts more. if he was really unhappy why did he not leave before, why only when someone to run to. if he just left with no one else , we could be amicable , his children would still respect him and in time I would have truly wished him well. but the lying is what gets me, he had plenty of chances to at least be honest, shit happens but its how you deal with that in my opinion that counts, if you can acknowledge what you have done and apologise , explain and not lie that goes a long way.

Nobody forced him to do this, he chose dishonesty and betrayal. Nobody has a perfect marriage and so far all I’ve seen is you taking responsibility for your half of it. He hasn’t said he put a foot wrong, so I wouldn’t pick apart how you showed up in your marriage, it’s not the reason he cheated.

Cheating is a choice where honest options are available. You’re not to blame for any of this. You could have been the wife from hell and even that doesn’t justify betrayal. If he was so very unhappy why not go? Because he wasn’t particularly unhappy until he started chasing highs provided from external sources. Then the high of secret flirting made him feel important and special and off he went, riding on his unicorn into the sunset of LaLa Land, off to save his ‘princess’ whom he is banned from seeing by the villain of the piece: you. What a hero, a prince indeed.

So, if he didn’t cheat because of you, why did he?

He cheated because he wanted to,
because he felt entitled to,
because he can’t face or deal with issues honestly and courageously,
because he’s a coward,
because he’s selfish,
because he’s betrayed his own integrity, because he can twist his reality into a pretzel in order to absolve himself of wrongdoing, because he apportions blame and responsibility instead of owning it,
because he can lie to himself and others as easily as breathing,
because he needed to reinvent himself due to a level of self-loathing he doesn’t even realise he possesses until somebody flatters and appears to validate him,
because he’s totally lost his way in life and because he’s currently being an arsehole selfishly wading through shit who thinks it’s milk and honey.
He’s responsible for the end of your marriage and the present state of it, not you.
Look forwards now and let him reap what he’s sown.