husband told me he is leaving me

[beingtakenforafool]

Looking for a hand hold. Husband just told me today he’s leaving me and doesn’t love me anymore, well still cares but not in love with me. Im devastated and don’t know where to go from here. i can’t stop crying and he won’t consider counselling, time or anything like that as apparently been feeling like it for 6 months, but didn’t think to tell me

Luckily I do have a few really good friends who have been great. Rather have. a few good friends than surrounded by people who are really just there for the drama. Also some supportive family who have again showed up when it matters. I have to remember in the long run he is doing more damage to himself and his relationship with his kids as I think he forgets they lived here. Also the new women will never know if he wants to really be with her as he supposedly stayed with me for years when he didn’t want to , pretending whole time. She will never know if he wants her or is just with her for convenience .

Just to add outside those who really care, nobody is that interested in someone else’s marriage woes. They may listen and say oh how terrible and really they are just thinking about what to get from Tesco.
He is trying to justify going off with someone else by going on about how awful his marriage was. If a man did that in front of me I’d just be mentally praying for him to shut up.
He also has his DC to consider and going about being unkind about their mother is just pathetic.
If he was THAT unhappy he’d have left years ago. But he wasn’t. He left because he met someone else and got found out. That’s it. That’s the story.
And I was the OW (good luck to her, she’s gonna need it!) I’d wonder why he wasn’t jumping for joy. He just sounds like one miserable bastard to be fair.

@beingtakenforafool

Luckily I do have a few really good friends who have been great. Rather have. a few good friends than surrounded by people who are really just there for the drama. Also some supportive family who have again showed up when it matters.

And what you have is worth more than its weight in gold.

I do think that when these men tell outrageous lies and rewrite history, it is okay to say to people "Well actually, that's not quite how it happened."
I don't believe in letting them control the whole narrative. Same with the children - I wouldn't go out of my way to slate their other parent unnecessarily, but it's fine to correct what their father is telling them. They need balance, not to be hearing that dad is an angel and mum is the devil incarnate.
Yes, sometimes kids grow up and see the truth for themselves, but sometimes they grow up with a warped view and blame the wrong parent on the say so of the other, more vocal one. So long as you keep it calm and factual it really isn't unreasonable to set the record straight.

OP, I promise you he wasn't really unhappy for years. He just doesn't want to be the villain in his own story so he's created a more palatable version for public consumption. And if he says it often enough, he'll start to think that it's true! Mostly these men are full of shit and the ow has not got herself any great prize.

children are adult and they know the truth