So yeah I'm kinda convinced that I'm going to end up alone. I'm a 33 y/o M who achieved my dream job and living in NYC.. I never had a relationship, I have lots of hobbies, in good shape, good looking, and really trying to go out.... No luck.

[SpoonyNavyPeer]

So yeah I'm not desperate for a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much convinced that I'm going to end up alone as a 33 y/o M who never had a real relationship in the past. I Really don't know what to do. I have hobbies, I pay for classes I have interests in, I try to go to social events... In the meanwhile I've been trying to do things on my own like go to movies, dinners, jogs, etc.... I've been trying to talk to girls and just to get to know them but all the girls whose numbers I gotten, never amounted to a single date.
I know I'm suppose to focus on making myself the best version of myself, doing things alone, not to be desperate, and all that..... but tbh I don't feel like its working.
I've tried online dating and that isn't working either, 0 matches. I struggle to even find girls I like and my standards aren't that high.
I just give up.
TL;DR: I'm a 33 y/o M that never had a gf, never had a real kiss and I'm trying so hard to even go on a date and get into a relationship and its useless.

Are you a brit?

do you have male friends?
do you have any female friends?

Why do you think it is?

Still time

Do you have a question you want us to answer?
Is this normally how you interact with people - just launch at them with statements about yourself?

What happened with the online dating? Did you not find a single girl you liked the look of - or just not many?

How are your non-romantic relationships with friends, family, co workers? Get on alright with them? Do you get invited to stuff?

Hard to say without meeting you in person. Ask someone close to you what the issue is.

Why do you think you've never had a GF?

NYC can be a very lonely place. One of my sons moved there a few years ago to live in the same city as his girlfriend. They broke up last year for several months. He joined softball teams, kickball teams, a volleyball league and a bookclub. Movies, dinner and jogging are all very solitary things. I am sure there are 50 running clubs you could join in NYC. Do you belong to a gym? My son has met people there too. Do you have friends you spend time with?

"I struggle to even find girls I like and my standards aren't that high"

Oh. What sort of girl woman are you looking for?

Try talking to women and see if you have more luck then.

Try:

• a wider range of dating apps. Are you a particular religion? Ie if Muslim there are specific Muslim dating apps
• go to meet-up groups based on your hobbies or try a book club
• socialise with your colleagues
• are you looking to date for a while in a casual way or are you looking to date for marriage? If its the second, then be more upfront about your intentions - a man who wants to be in a committed relationship that leads to marriage can make up for a lot of other things that are traditionally seen as harming a man's relationship potential (ie height, wealth).
• when you say you have your dream job, what do you do? Does it pay well? Are you on the housing ladder?
• When's the last time you were on a date? Have you had any feedback as to why the other person didn't want to continue?
• have your friends offered any insight or given any advice?

Do you listen and ask questions when you go on a date?

I only ask because you have launched into this site with a 'so yeah', a reeaaaally long thread title and a personal description more attuned to Reddit (33 y/o M).

All of which suggests that maybe you don't read the room so well? This is a genuine question, btw. I just wonder if your presentation is kind of like your OP? That's not to say there won't be someone out there for you. Diff'rent strokes and everything, but, yeah. Just a gentle thought.

🍿

Where I’ve met guys in the past have been music, comedy events and a book club. Have you tried those? Or an old fashioned dating agency where you get introduced? Friend met her now DH there.

It's great you have found a job you enjoy - excellent & you're very lucky there.

Romance wise.. I think there must be something that you don't recognise in yourself. Otherwise it wouldn't the this difficult to get some dates.
Are you socially awkward?
If you were good looking and have some charisma then really, at 33 it should be incredibly easy for you on dating apps.

I think perhaps be a little self critical / completely honest with yourself and find the reason you aren't attracting women so that you can work on the specifics.

Might a life coach or a therapist help, to try and give you some perspective of yourself and create a plan to move forward.

Nope I have no problems making friends

I’m not 100% sure a site for British mothers is going to have a lot of useful advice for men trying to pull young women in NYC, OP.

Let me clarify, I get women/girls interested in me, none that I like though.
I am not socially awkward and I read rooms pretty well. I am good looking and I do have charisma, but I haven't had much success.

Yes men and women. I Go to the theaters alone because I Don't have anyone to go with.

I tried those events: writing/music/comedy events. Drawing events, tours, museum events.

Are there any women you do like? You said you don't like any of the ones you've seen? Do you actually fancy anyone?