So yeah I'm kinda convinced that I'm going to end up alone. I'm a 33 y/o M who achieved my dream job and living in NYC.. I never had a relationship, I have lots of hobbies, in good shape, good looking, and really trying to go out.... No luck.

[SpoonyNavyPeer]

So yeah I'm not desperate for a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much convinced that I'm going to end up alone as a 33 y/o M who never had a real relationship in the past. I Really don't know what to do. I have hobbies, I pay for classes I have interests in, I try to go to social events... In the meanwhile I've been trying to do things on my own like go to movies, dinners, jogs, etc.... I've been trying to talk to girls and just to get to know them but all the girls whose numbers I gotten, never amounted to a single date.
I know I'm suppose to focus on making myself the best version of myself, doing things alone, not to be desperate, and all that..... but tbh I don't feel like its working.
I've tried online dating and that isn't working either, 0 matches. I struggle to even find girls I like and my standards aren't that high.
I just give up.
TL;DR: I'm a 33 y/o M that never had a gf, never had a real kiss and I'm trying so hard to even go on a date and get into a relationship and its useless.

Is this another one of those threads where the user is taking advantage of MN to conduct AI training?

Oh come on, don't be nasty.

Romance scam!

Please don't start PM'ing this rich (US Dc) single gorgeous man as he will fleece you.

Woman: adult human female. A girl is a child.

Your comment smacks of ageism. There's nothing wrong with being old. There's some internalised sexism there too: you don't get men claiming a preference to be called "boy".

What do you find attractive in a woman OP?
Why have you only dated 2 women you didn't like - you say there are lots of women you meet and who would date you so it seems the issue is with locating women you find attractive/want to pursue getting to know?
Do you get intitial feeling of attraction and go off them after spending an hour or 2 with them?
Do you actually fancy women?
What do your female friends have to say about your predicament?

Aha ... yes! I thought AI training. But romance scam phishing is more likely.

Am I the only one who is immediately put off by anyone referring to people as a number on a 1-10 scale? Not only is it demeaning, it also tries to pass off subjective things as objective measurables.

Just an aside, really.

this is so sad you are 33
please try to connect with other people
I am sure you have lots to contribute
Go on a tour like exodus or trailfinders where there are singles
Do classes
Do you have same sex friends whom can introduce you
Is there anyone at work you like
Do not give uo

you're 33 and have so far found 2 women you have found attractive enough to briefly date, but not more than that? Are you sure you're into women? Because even the pickiest people I know can manage more than that.

@SpoonyNavyPeer are you British?

Lack of humility?

Well I've read your posts and I have to say op you've convinced me also that you are going to end up alone.

Why not just concentrate on your important doctor job and make helping mankind your focus for life, there's a certain kind of peace living a life like that imo.

There must be loads of luscious nurses in NY desperate to bag a good-looking, charismatic doctor

The real poster could be this man's British mother who can't understand why her very eligible doctor son isn't in a relationship. Why else would they post on mumsnet and then not be able to answer simple questions like dating preferences. That, or AI training 😂

I bet he’s never though of this 🤔

It's also incelspeak. Huge red flag in my book.

I've only read your posts @SpoonyNavyPeer, so apologies if this has already been suggested.

Since it sounds like you have some decent friends, I would gather a few round at yours for dinner (include at least one male and one female) and ask for advice.

You could tell them you're serious about looking for a partner and need their help. Ask them to be brutally honest about what they think might be holding you back and get them to help you rewrite your dating profile and choose suitable pictures.

You could even challenge each of them to set you up on one blind date each, just to get some practice in (plus you never know...!) It sounds like it's bothering you to the extent that it's time to tackle it head-on, and I'm sure your friends will be happy to help.

You didn't like them. Fair enough.

What was it about them you didn't like? Looks, personality, political views, what?

What about your friends for setting you on a date? What happened at high school or college? Someone said NY is a lonely place. I find London much worse than NYC as people over there talk to you and you can talk to them and you are not a weirdo. it is normal and people are friendlier.

I heard than nowadays it is a struggle to find someone to be in a relationship. Is it a combination of not finding anyone you like enough and you being shy?
I also met a therapist for people who have problems finding someone. I personally find this so strange as there is always more women in every place.

@Flyingtonight sadly we will never know but somehow I like the U.K. mum posting in total incomprehension that her eligible doctor son is still single. Meanwhile back in NYC son has an extravagant double life.

I think app matches is probably a good measure of attractiveness (unless you take REALLY terrible photos). Your friends and family could be being polite or just biased - no one tells their friends they're not good looking!

But app matches are anonymous and no one has any ties to you - people just match on who they find attractive

I was just thinking this!

Buy a dog or a cat. Having a partner can be stressful as can family life. Just enjoy having all your freedom!

If you always done what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got. You need a total rethink. You are meeting a lot of strangers but you don't live in a community which means you will keep on meeting lots of strangers, albeit nice but it never goes anywhere. I think you need to meet the people that know the people that you want to get close to and form a relationship with. You need to start roping in friends and family who may know someone like your aunts neighbours daughter kind of thing. Be a bit old fashioned about it and stop doing the same approach which isn't working. Look to your friends and the older generation. Stop looking where you are and start enquiring about great aunt Felicity's neighbours daughter in Vermont for example. Make your friends and family start working for you as matchmakers. You could also try shagging around more and start looking for an initial sexual connection rather than spiritual /meaningful gubbins. Worked for us all mostly in the 90's. Best of luck OP.

0 matches. I struggle to even find girls I like

Well, to match, you and the woman both need to like each other. If you're saying you're so good looking, you would certainly have plenty of women in NY and surroundings on those apps who like you - is the issue that you do not like anybody on the entire tinder/bubble/whatever app people use nowadays? You only like the top 0,001% women on the app who have a million matches per day? That just doesn't sound right, I have plenty of average looking male friends on those apps and they get plenty of matches.