I enjoyed my ex at a size 10/12.....ick

[helenabeesky]

Been talking to a guy that I actively went to school with. Been chatting on and off for a few weeks.

My divorce has come though and he is almost divorced. Live in the same village so we do sort of know each other.

Anyway we were chatting the other night and I told him how much weight I had lost since my divorce began, joking that I call it the 'divorce diet'. He said he's also lost weight recently (which he has).

He then asked me what size I was in clothes and what size I am now. He said I didn't have to tell him - he was just making conversation.

I didn't mind really, I told him I'm an 8/10 now and used to be a 12/14. He congratulated me on my weight loss and then said this

'I enjoyed my ex when she was a 10/12'

Instant ick.

Would anyone else feel the same?

There was something else he said which put me off but I'm just wondering if this comment alone would put you off?

🤮

'Enjoyed' her?

Ew. 🤮

😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Urgh. Would anyone not be repulsed by this?

Yes - the word 'enioyed'

His word were 'my ex was really slim, I enjoyed her around the 10-12 mark'

He is no oil painting himself.

It’s an awkward bit of phrasing I agree. But unless he’s said other more obvious dodgy things I’d get him the benefit of the doubt on this one I think.

Ok, the context makes it worse!

He “enjoyed” her at that size?

I think the Sigmund Freud in me would find this a very telling comment about how he views women’s bodies. As a commodity to be used for his “enjoyment” but only within the margin of the size he considers acceptable. And also subtly letting you know you’d better not get above a size 12 otherwise he won’t “enjoy” you as much.

Instant Ick.

Yep first comment nails it with an emoji!

I don't think we need wonder why he's divorced. Good on her.

The thing is I do know him - he's an ok guy in a lot of respects. We know a lot of the same people and they only have good things to say about him.

His wife left him and it obviously really destroyed him.

It gets worse though - he also said he was seeing someone for about 6 months but he had to end it as he was comparing her to his ex wife constantly.

Clearly it's a no from me. Just gonna be awkward now whenever I bump into him.

It's a poor choice of words but is he not just saying he liked her/found her attractive at that size? I'm a bit confused by all of the outrage...

Enjoyed her ? Fucking hell that’s a red flag if I ever saw one. He sees women’s bodies as for his enjoyment and he’s sending out a warning about what he’ll think of you if you gain weight.

This would be a bin from me as I would not be starting a relationship with someone who's 'enjoyment' of me was conditional on my weight or dress size.

With that one sentence he's shown his view that women have value to him only if they provide enjoyment to him. Like a little lord, sat on high, being displeased with a servant girl. Twat.

Yeah I'm a bit baffled too. 😆

Bad wording I guess, but surely he was just saying he likes his women slimmer. So what?

Yuck. Bringing up his ex is a big no. Implying he only likes women of that size? And saying he 'enjoyed' her. She's not a plate of steak and chips fgs! I find it creepy he even knows the difference between an 8 and a 10. Or cares!

Is he not telling you that he doesn't like the version of his x wife now ( really slim ) she has lost lots of weight ( was 10-12 ), and telling you that he will be thinking the same of you as you too have gone from 12/14 to 8/10.

So whilst congratulating you, he doesn't really mean it.

"he likes his women slimmer."

And I like my men to have a 32 inch waist, six pack, 42" inch chest. If he ain't Johnny Bravo, I ain't interested.. better hit that gym tubby boy..

If he wants to make demands, I get too as well.

If only he had said preferred.

He sounds like a real prince 🤢🤢 not

I think as soon as a man starts asking what clothes size you wear instead of just looking at you then you should leave it. I still don’t know what size trousers my DH wears I don’t care and we’ve been together for over a decade.

The word enjoyed is grim, but a red herring distracting you from the real issue here, which he's alluded to - he's not over his ex. He shouldn't be mentioning her at all.

We're all allowed our preferences but the "enjoyed" would instantly restore my virginity I'm afraid.

Sounds like a typical bloke. They all objectify us but not all of them are stupid enough to come out with it.