I enjoyed my ex at a size 10/12.....ick

[helenabeesky]

Been talking to a guy that I actively went to school with. Been chatting on and off for a few weeks.

My divorce has come though and he is almost divorced. Live in the same village so we do sort of know each other.

Anyway we were chatting the other night and I told him how much weight I had lost since my divorce began, joking that I call it the 'divorce diet'. He said he's also lost weight recently (which he has).

He then asked me what size I was in clothes and what size I am now. He said I didn't have to tell him - he was just making conversation.

I didn't mind really, I told him I'm an 8/10 now and used to be a 12/14. He congratulated me on my weight loss and then said this

'I enjoyed my ex when she was a 10/12'

Instant ick.

Would anyone else feel the same?

There was something else he said which put me off but I'm just wondering if this comment alone would put you off?

A conversation about weightloss: understandable / normal
A question like ‘oh wow, how much did you lose’ : understandable / normal
Asking about dress size…. Nooooo, sounds like a screening / judgy question
Comparing to ex-wife size : Big Fat Nope. IckTastic

Yeah I'm a bit baffled too.😆

Bad wording I guess, but surely he was just saying he likes his women slimmer. So what?

'He likes 'his' women slimmer'....🤮

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a preference, but wording matters. Your wording is off, just the man that said 'enjoyed'.

'I enjoyed my ex when she was a 10/12'

My fanny would snap shut like a bulldog clip if someone said that to me. 'Enjoyed'. Ewww.

When they show you who they are, believe them.

Comparing his ex to others implies that he holds her as the high standard, however, despite that, he didn't treat her well enough to make her want to stick around. Could it be the constant measurement and assessment she was under?
He uses clumsy words, he's overshared to you about why his last relationship ended, he's talked about his thoughts about his wife already and made a comparison to you. Clearly not over her, and maybe has some neurodiversity as he has no filter. He seems unaware of what he's saying and how it looks. A tad obsessively analytical maybe? Doesn't get that you don't get to sit in judgement when far from perfection yourself.

He sounds exceptionally dim.

Yuck!

I can't imagine saying I enjoyed my ex when he was size 34 waist. Just so weird. I wonder what kind of sexist conversations he has with his mates.

Grim

Aside from the fact that he's clearly not over his ex, never date someone you'd describe as "an ok guy". You surely deserve more than just "ok".

Yuck massive Ick.

Is this the guy who told you the woman in the car behind him was really attractive, or the woman in the restaurant

Enjoyed her? As in sexually or he liked how she looked being a size 12? The first is icky, the other is a wrong choice of words. Yes, off-putting still.

Apart from the disgustingly worded phrase l, he's basically telling OP he finds her too slim and would "enjoy" her more if she had a different body shape??

Count me into the confused by the outrage club. It’s rubbish wording but hardly the crime of the century.

Probably why she’s an ex. She must’ve known he was a bit of a creep, or maybe she lost/gained weight and he was even more insufferable… good riddance either way 👋🏼

your comment explains a lot about the absolute horrific men that women call 'great husbands and dads' on here if you are baffled by this.

Instant repulsion.

Gross

If the "enjoyed her" comment was the only thing wrong then I'd give it time and see how it goes. But on top of the other info about comparing someone else to his ex, I'd say perhaps he's not ready for a relationship. I think I'd say you're not feeling it and break off with him

Is he a native speaker of English? If so that’s pretty 🤢

Ugh, that would repulse me OP! He's telling you he objectified his Ex, and didn't love her for who she is. It implies he also went off her for not being that size anymore, possibly because she put on a bit of weight due to having children. Double ugh!!
He "enjoyed" her? That is such a dehumanising thing to say about a person! She's not a night out nor a birthday party, she's a human being!
I'd be creeped out OP, and swerve him big time!

That is such a dehumanising thing to say about a person!

This ^

OP, it would definitely put me off.

'You may have enjoyed your ex at a 10/12 but you'll be getting no joy from me whatever size I am!'

I think it's like women saying they like a certain sort of man physically like tall dark and handsome etc
Most men probably have preferences for women for not only body size but also other criteria
This guy just verbalised it immaturely.

oh bowk!

That would put me right off tbh.