I enjoyed my ex at a size 10/12.....ick

[helenabeesky]

Been talking to a guy that I actively went to school with. Been chatting on and off for a few weeks.

My divorce has come though and he is almost divorced. Live in the same village so we do sort of know each other.

Anyway we were chatting the other night and I told him how much weight I had lost since my divorce began, joking that I call it the 'divorce diet'. He said he's also lost weight recently (which he has).

He then asked me what size I was in clothes and what size I am now. He said I didn't have to tell him - he was just making conversation.

I didn't mind really, I told him I'm an 8/10 now and used to be a 12/14. He congratulated me on my weight loss and then said this

'I enjoyed my ex when she was a 10/12'

Instant ick.

Would anyone else feel the same?

There was something else he said which put me off but I'm just wondering if this comment alone would put you off?

Surely shaw was mentioning her weightloss within the context of the conversation? How is that bragging?

Do you think that anytime someone mentions their weightloss that they're bragging?

@pinkyredrose

Thank you. I have already explained that we were talking about food which then moved to healthy eating. It was absolutely in line with the conversation.

He also has lost weight however his was done through healthy eating and going to the gym. He wasn't bragging either.

Having a conversation about food and eating in which weight loss is mentioned as a natural turn in the conversation isn't "bragging", for goodness sake.

I don't know what's wrong with some people. They just love sticking the knife in for any reason or none.

Asking clothes size or bra size is a huge red flag.

If he has seen photos or seen you in person, that is enough.

Men do seem to enjoy their little numbers and rating systems and its quite funny how they get fixated on certain numbers when they are largely irrelevant as everyone carries weight differently etc

And…he’s still comparing women to his wife. I think he worded it clumsily but comparing your body to the ex’s would be a red flag for me. He needs to get over that relationship before starting on something new.

Personally, I set my bar to the slightly higher standard of a man recognising that a person does not have a worth that is dependent upon their clothing size and instead values personal character.