I enjoyed my ex at a size 10/12.....ick

[helenabeesky]

Been talking to a guy that I actively went to school with. Been chatting on and off for a few weeks.

My divorce has come though and he is almost divorced. Live in the same village so we do sort of know each other.

Anyway we were chatting the other night and I told him how much weight I had lost since my divorce began, joking that I call it the 'divorce diet'. He said he's also lost weight recently (which he has).

He then asked me what size I was in clothes and what size I am now. He said I didn't have to tell him - he was just making conversation.

I didn't mind really, I told him I'm an 8/10 now and used to be a 12/14. He congratulated me on my weight loss and then said this

'I enjoyed my ex when she was a 10/12'

Instant ick.

Would anyone else feel the same?

There was something else he said which put me off but I'm just wondering if this comment alone would put you off?

Really?
Obviously in this context I find it weird and crass, but why is the word enjoy wrong?
Firstly I enjoy my dh and I love the fact that he enjoys me and my body( I hope he does)

Count me into the confused by the outrage club. It’s rubbish wording but hardly the crime of the century.

@brunettemic because the wider context is her telling his she'd lost weight and gone from a 12/14 to a 8/10.
His response was he enjoyed his ex most as a 10/12 ie he doesn't like OPs current size/body shape.

What a scumbag. Can you find some way to humiliate him in public for using that word?

Do you only enjoy him at a specific size or weight, and vice versa?

I think in this context it's just a very weird thing to say. It's on a par with someone saying "I'd like to enter you", or using the word moist when theres never any need to use that word.

I had a brief interlude on OLD and a man I had spoken to for about a week asked for a photo showing my legs as my other photos only showed my upper body and he wanted to ensure they 'matched' (his worda) before he would talk any more :D.

I certainly prefer my dh as he is, slim and fit.
If he piled on the pounds I would definitely be disappointed. I would still love him but no I wouldn't enjoy him as much.
Men and women are attracted to different physiques. There's nothing wrong with that.

or using the word moist when theres never any need to use that word.

Surely if something is moist it’s perfectly acceptable to describe it as such.

Wow that is going too far. Humiliate him in public? What for?

OP can just block him and move on if she isn't interested.

Only positive is you have found him out now, not later.

Really poor choice of words, but he’s at least being honest.

‘I really love how damp this cake is’. Definitely not weird at all.

Agree the word "enjoyed" is off putting. It makes her sound like an object. Sounds a bit sleazy too.

An ex at a size 10 or 12?
Wow...
Oh I see what you mean...

No.

Eaw.
Maybe he can enjoy being alone untill he learns to sound less like a perv.

Run ... run away fast

It’s a gross term and he’s clearly comparing everyone to his ex

Honestly, who TF cares what certain men "enjoy".
And I'm far from being "overweight" at 45.
He could F right off 👍

Were you both being ick? Why were you telling him you’ve lost weight since the divorce, did you think telling him you were slim would encourage him?

Instant block.

Blown away by the handful of posters on here who don't get why it's bad.

Yes, of course we all have preferences - you don't verbalise it to a potential partner who isn't that size as a comparison to your ex though!!

Saying this means he is one of two things - thick as mince or he objectivise women and is controlling. Surely neither option is appealing?

I winced a bit when I read that, not a great choice of words. I think a lot depends on the bigger picture and only the OP knows that. Sometimes perfectly nice people phrase things badly

@HeySummerWhereAreYou do you not find it off-putting that a man judges women on the label inside their clothes? My DH wouldn't know or care what actual dress size I am. Like there's a marked difference between an 8 and 12 to a bloke? If someone's hot then they should just be happy that they will accept them!

I enjoyed my ex at 12 inches then...

Nope absolutely not, I am the least flirtatious person you could ever meet. It came from talking about food. It went into healthy eating and that was that.