Husband has told me he is going to Thailand.

[Ilivetosleep]

My husbands older brother turns 50 this year. He is married and hads a new born baby. This afternoon when I got home from work ,my husband has declared that him, his brother, his nephew and two of their cousins are going to Thailand for his 50th. He hasn't mentioned this to me before and we have 4 kids and custody of my niece. Would you find this odd and worrying??

Hey guess what? I'm going to a sex tourism hotspot with a small group of men including one morally bankrupt one also the decent one refuses to come oh you are mad? Don't worry it was all just a joke I wasn't really going to do it I just thought you would be amused if you thought I was going to go there then I said I wasnt. heeheehee I'm so funny what a funny joke I made I bet you were having fun wondering why I would be going there.

@Cyclebabble, my understanding of these comments is that the submissive, etc trope is what the male customers think (and are often encouraged to think so). PPs have been talking about that, not agreeing with it!

I am very, very familiar with younger women from poorer countries being eager to get men from better-off countries to marry them. It happens all the time, and an obvious route to the men's hearts is via sex work, particularly "girlfriend experience". When it's women from SE Asia, the majority of those men have bought into the tiny, smilingly submissive stereotype and that's what they are provided.

Delighted to report that some such imported wives reveal their assertive selves once settled!

Asian girls are also considered waaay more desirable and exotic than the often drug ravaged prostitutes in this country that many of these blokes wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

Tell me you don't know anything about Asian sex tourism spot "bar girls" without telling me you don't know anything about them.

The levels of antibiotic resistant eg gonorrhea and HIV among them is significant.

So it's extremely ironic if these oh so particular and high standarded men wouldn't touch prostitutes here with a barge pole but would use Asian sex spot prostitutes. Here, at least, they're likely to have better access to screening and treatment.

There is a very sad and probably not very unusual video on YouTube by an English guy documenting what happened when he got into a relationship with and then married a Thai womannwhod been a bar girl/done massages ..... She passed away from Aids. I don't know what, if any, treatment she was having and why it didn't work or stopped working.

She did not tell him she was hiv positive at any point, he was told by medical staff. It probably would've scuppered the marriage - which involved him giving a financial gift to her family (who lived in conditioned he described as beyond basi) so she didn't tell him.

Incidentally he did not get infected, who knows how not.

It's also worth pointing out that she may not even have been infected by a tourist, a lot of these women were having sex with/pressured to have sex with pimps/bar owners etc. They were spreading the diseases too.

When I was travelling in Thailand we used to play pool with some of the bar girls earlier in the evenings. Had dinner and beer. They were lovely and friendly and no sleazy men were around at that point in the evening.

As the nights got darker, and the perverts appeared, the funny, assertive, interesting women with really good English morphed into the stereotype. Broken, cute English and 'shy' sweetness. They all forgot how to play pool as well.

The stereotype is because men like it. Not because it's true. And yes, some men get a shock. Serves them right.

Asian girls are also considered waaay more desirable and exotic than the often drug ravaged prostitutes in this country that many of these blokes wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

Anyway - they take advantage of women here being drug addicts, or vulnerable immigrants.

They take advantage of Asian women there being shit poor and deprived.

It's all exploitation.

And they know they're exploiting them. They're switched on enough in every other way, they know.
They just think "their misfortune is my good fortune", though they'll never say it. Instead they just "other" the women and make excuses.

Who gives a fuck if they prefer "exotic" young women whom they think aren't drug added ...... They're the scum of the earth no matter whichever women, wherever, they exploit and fuck without true consent.

That poster has been on here mansplaining and saying "women cheat too" and "Mumsnet is totally hypocritical about women cheating" (usually in threads where 90% of posters condemned the cheating) for months if not years now, and will not ever just fuck off.

This comment does not surprise me.

Imagine your ego being flattered by prostituted women approaching you. The level of delusion...... Just SMH.

Not to mention that men will go there to rape children, no risks at all of being arrested. There are plenty of posts just on this thread about seeing prostituted children soliciting at these resorts.

So, you cannot produce an example on this thread but want me to do a search while you made the allegation? This is what I mean by the brown card. I have the same ethnicity as you but it wasnt relevant at all to the discussion here, so I didnt mention it nor use it to make vague accusations of racism. I know it is the fashionable way to win arguments on the net but it is damn shoddy. Living in SE asia is a relevant factor and I brought it up, as did several other posters.

If they go down the sex route a strong chance of coming home with unwanted holiday souvenirs that could be shared with partners, wives.

@ManonDe or maybe just maybe there are some decent guys out there!

why do I? You’re not “challenging” anyone, it’s just whinge whinge whinge you’re being mean about men. Just because a comment isn’t individually valid does not make it statistically inaccurate

Given your wholesale dismissal of women on this threads lived experiences , perhaps tell us how much time have you spend in Thailand and where your certainty that most single male visitors are sex tourists. I’m going to guess you have a husband/dad/brother that is out there every year.

perhaps tell us how much time have you spend in Thailand and where your certainty that most single male visitors are NOT sex tourists comes from?

I now see @Bub1765 you’re a man. Absolutely zero surprises there.

@Bub1765 is an odd sinister one IMO

Currently on his own thread about his sigh awful lazy ex wife

It was me that mentioned the pension thing. And i asked around as I was confused as to what the gain was for Thai women in offering the gf experience. And that was the answer I got.

its am observation.

The question needs to be asked : Why isn't the Thai Government cracking down on child exploitation like they do with drug smuggling?

no motivation to

as evidenced by all the mumsnetters yet that still holiday there and presumably spend lots of money whilst there

nothing will make the this gov respond quicker than if their tourism industry is hit

All that will happen is that the sex tourism industry will increase to fill the gap.
Probably offering more extreme options.
it is very sad and horrific.

I disagree that many of the men going to Thailand have a history in the uk of using sex workers.

I think some get caught up in it once there. And many go there for that specifically

They see themselves as different to the usual users of sex workers.

You can disagree all you like but unless you can demonstrate it then it's kind of meaningless. Most men think paying for sex is disgusting and that's not likely to change if someone approaches them on the street on holiday.

If it was true you'd be even less likely to let your partners go to Australia than Thailand. Yet people don't think of majority white Australia as a sex tourist location despite brothels being legal there, yet they do think of non-white Thailand being like that. Funny that...

@Pinkfluffypencilcase I imagine every user considers themselves "different" wherever they do it. The alternative is that they are a weird creep and no one wants to think of themselves as a weird creep.

Vile in so many ways.

Your slip is really showing now.

As alluded to up thread using prostitutes in the UK involves a certain degree of criminal risk, the trade is hidden mostly behind closed doors, there is more of a stigma attached to it and it's more expensive. In Thailand the police largely don't give a shit, there is almost a veneer of legitimacy about it given that it is so openly available with the front of house of brothels looking like normal bars with sport on the TV or live music playing. I think some men think believe they are not really engaging in the sex trade if they are only enjoying a few cold beers while watching a 'show', after all you not actually having sex, it's just a bit of harmless fun isn't it?

@OpalSpirit The feeling is mutual.