Husband has told me he is going to Thailand.

[Ilivetosleep]

My husbands older brother turns 50 this year. He is married and hads a new born baby. This afternoon when I got home from work ,my husband has declared that him, his brother, his nephew and two of their cousins are going to Thailand for his 50th. He hasn't mentioned this to me before and we have 4 kids and custody of my niece. Would you find this odd and worrying??

Racist my arse. By conservative estimates, there are about 200,000 prostitutes in Thailand, approx 5% of the female population - one in twenty (World Health Organisation; US State Dept). Many sources estimate as many as 1 million, and that one in five Thai women have worked as prostitutes. Thailand is a world hub, and prolific user, of enslaved prostitutes including children.

The Thai government has been struggling since the 1960s to regulate and sanitise its sex industry, with little success as you can easily find out. Part of the reason it's so hard to regulate is the presence of both local and international crime gangs. It's also a problem for the government that 10% of the national economy depends on prostitution and, further, that most of its large tourism revenue comes from sex tourists.

None of this is racist.

I wouldn't tolerate a man going on a men's group holiday to Thailand, unless he was a genuine aficionado of Thai Buddhism, the country's historical architecture or pursuing some other highly specific interest. (Even then I'd be a bit suspicious, tbh!)

If you've been to Thailand and not seen the problem, you're either a sex tourist and you're lying, or you wore blinkers the whole time you were there.

I immediately think sex tourism and possible paedophile whenever I come across a man that has been staying in Thailand. A men only holiday there is not a good look.

This. If he can pay for it and you could go on a similar trip at some point, then him going away is a non issue.

Thailand, however….

I lived in thailand, and i feel confident in saying there is a very high likelihood that a group of older men want to go for prostitution.

Oh god
I feel sick now. 😫

I dunno what's going on.hes still not home. Plus he said it right in front of my mum
WTAF.

I would at least have expected a conversation about it before booking it regarding money and any other events that may be happening at the same time, especially when you have children.

😂

OP honestly it might not really be that big of a deal location wise. Thailand is cheap and you can live like a king at some of the resorts.
However, have a conversation and ask him Why there?

How old are the nephews? and their cousins?

I mean this whole thread gives me leave to share my favorite GIF but two things especially:

• this comment!
• all the people who have LIVED in Thailand saying, “yes, sex tourism, possibly underaged”

Same!

Yup.

I would not be happy at all.

My Sil lives in Thailand, she says the sex workers are actually waiting on the planes coming in from the UK with all the manky middle aged perverts coming in. Well known for it.

What ever happened to a meal out with friends or a little get together at the local community centre?

... assuming they aren't scuba divers of course. Good diving there.

You went away for a weekend with your sister before children arrived.

He has told you he is going away to Thailand with his filandering brother to the child prostitution capital of the world on an exclusive boys trip when you have a whole gaggle of children at home to look after whilst working full time....

Yeah that's completely equitable.

I think I'd be sending him away with divorce papers to complete on his way there.

South East Asias sex industry is an absolute tragedy.
Very young women and children left with little option but to sell themselves very cheaply to godawful men.

Awful situations that are joked about.
Even the ‘ love you long time’ saying has horrible meaning.

The situation so abhorrent that many of these women are trying to hit the ‘jackpot’ of getting one of these predators to marry them so they can move to their country and send money home to family.

Inevitably these ‘winners’ often head to a life far from home and family. With a vile man who often has exaggerated his solvency.
The life some of these women live is one abuse after another, without relief.

Often, this is normal and whole generations of women live this life.

This is to say nothing of the very much busy trade in young children that some of these men travel to South East Asia for.

Utter tragedy.

This is true and happening right now.

To ask the OP if she would feel the same if husband was headed to Tenerife is either staggering naïveté or gaslighting at it’s finest.

Op- I am very sorry you find yourself in this position. I truly hope your husband does not go or really does turn out to be on a temple tour. Personally I would be asking a lot of questions about destination etc.
Be wary and take care of yourself.

I could forgive lots of things but sex tourism isn’t one of them.

Why Thailand, I would ask. Poor sil having a baby with the brother

All of the nope. A lads hol to Thailand, leaving you with 5 children! The brass neck of your husband

Absolutely not.

My ex went on many holidays with his friends, it never bothered me and I do think people should have time away from their partners however this is a no from me. Especially since his sensible brother has decided not to go on this one. That says a lot.

You sound a bit frightened of your DH.

Can you just say no to this seedy plan?

Also who is helping poor SIL, left at home with a newborn.
I'm sure it's not at all relevant that BIL wants to go to an overseas sex tourism destination at a time when his wife is unlikely to be keen on having lots of sex. Complete coincidence I'm sure.

I worked in Thailand (Pattaya)- such a tragic, sad, seedy, poor place. Absolutely awful. The middle aged European men everywhere with young girl prostitutes - really young. My husband has always gone a way for trips with his friends and family and I'm happy for him to do it of-course, but he wouldn't go to Thailand. There is nothing there to go for.

No. I'm not scared of him at all. We have a very equitable relationship. Or I thought we did.

Might the be going to smoke weed? It's legal there now, my ex goes to see his friend who loves there and I know they do that. I dread to think what else 🤢