Husband has told me he is going to Thailand.

[Ilivetosleep]

My husbands older brother turns 50 this year. He is married and hads a new born baby. This afternoon when I got home from work ,my husband has declared that him, his brother, his nephew and two of their cousins are going to Thailand for his 50th. He hasn't mentioned this to me before and we have 4 kids and custody of my niece. Would you find this odd and worrying??

Have you told him how not funny that was, how upset you were and what an arse he is?

Yes, forget the fact it’s a beautiful country, has gorgeous beaches, great food and a fascinating culture. If they were going for the “readily available sex industry” Marbella is full of sex clubs, bordellos, drunken British women on hen parties and bars, and it’s much closer than Thailand. But they may also be real tw-ats, I don’t know these men from Adam.

@OpalSpirit One anecdotal experience doesn't change my view and I think people who attempt to stereotype whole genders and whole countries should be called out for it.

But he thought it would be funny to wind me up as I'm so gullible

What the f*? The fact he willingly put you through stress and worry and then calls you gullible would highlight how much of an asshole he is! Does he normally do stuff like this?
Jokes are meant to be mutually funny! What he has done is bullying. Wtf!!

Your worry suggests that your gut does not trust your husband and knows the moment he is presented with a chance he will take it.
A man (or women) can be around many of cheaters and they will not cheat. I feel there is more going on in your marriage and the fear of what might happen is stopping you from addressing it.

I would be getting myself away from this type of man for start!

Ridiculous comment.

@beatrix1234 the birthday sibling is seedy and the more sensible sibling is not going (and neither does it appear is OP’s DH). Doesn’t sound like a trip to see beaches and fascinating culture. And if it was that sort of holiday why wouldn’t partners be invited

I can't imagine my husband even suggesting he might go.
We are a family and go on family holidays together, that's what we work all year round for so he wouldn't dream of spending some of his precious 4 weeks off a year without us.

If he wants to play single man that can be arranged on a permanent basis or he can be part of a family.
But to be honest by even the intention and wanting to go I think the damage would be done now for me.
Think of them discussing it with excitement and sharing their sleazy intentions eeew!!

Yes the op should just ask. I'm sure he'll tell her everything they intend to get up to while away from their wives

Its a few years since my friend’s partner in his forties, went to Thailand on a cycling club holiday, staying in cyclists hotels, on a pre arranged route, for weather, beautiful country, food, friendly people, so friendly in fact that cycling through small rural villages, young girls, boys too, would be presented to these men, parents usher their children to the front of the houses and gesticulate. Shocking and sad.
The cyclists learned to wizz through the villages.
He kept repeating, ‘these were children’ and upset that no one had warned them

I have no idea of the men who are involved but I am originally from Malaysia which borders Thailand and I have spent quite some time there. There are many good reasons to visit. It has great beaches, good food, good hotels and great cultural sites as well. The people are also lovely. Not everyone who visits will do so solely as a sex tourist and I think it is a bit of a leap to do so.

"Please dont stereotype men! They would never pay for sex, abuse women and children!"
Are you people real?

I'd be seriously considering whether I want to remain in contact with the rest of his family tbh.
If they can do this and dh is accepting of them and still considers them family after I think that says a lot about his morals.

huh
You responded my to my point
out of courtesy i didn’t ignore
🤷

reread your posts until he told you it was a joke

if you think that’s a healthy marriage… ok

I'm not going to lie, it's great for the ego, but also incredibly disturbing as those girls look young!

@C1N1C this is the weirdest fucking take I’ve read in a while. You find it an ego boost to be approached by young trafficked women or possibly children who are driven by poverty and desperation to do so?! Where the fuck is the ego boost in that?!

You vile women haters always tell on yourselves

Was it a joke or was it a let's test the water and if she hits the roof then calm down dear I was only joking?

@C1N1C would love you to come back and clarify how being approached by a prostitute is “good for your ego” shudder

If you are from Malaysia, you would know what Haadyai is infamous for. You would know that many malaysian men visit Haadyai for the massage parlours and brothels. I have made the overland trip from Malaysia to Haadyai myself as a single woman backpacker and witnessed it for myself. We are not disparaging the good people of Thailand nor most tourists, but male sex tourists.

Thailand is underage sex capital of the World.
Gross that young girls have to service horrible older foreign men.

Hopefully your husband won't be using sex workers- but there is no way of knowing.

I've reported this post. I'm fed up of reading comments that immediately associate men and certain foreign countries with sex and this really pushes the limit. Paedophilia? Are you for real? Do you actually think that's what most men want to do???

No problem, I have worked in the country I know the people I am speaking about.
I still have relationships with some of them.

You are entitled to your (uninformed opinion) I imagine you can guess what I think of people who deny the abuse of women and children.

What an awful thing to say. I know plenty of men and men-only holidays who have been nothing but amazing and not visiting those industries.

Go outside and look at the world a bit and stop reading the internet so much.

This.

Of course, because your single anecdote and suitcase of prejudices is so much better 😂

Well I have made many comments and I have many stories.
I got them from living and working with the people I am speaking about.

If you were interacting in a genuine way you will see my horror at what goes on and my pointing out the situation is complex.

I have also pointed out that Thailand in general is a conservative, traditional country.

I think you have some skin in the game. You carry on muddying the waters and defending the predators.