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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aibu to be upset about this, did he overreact?

215 replies

bandmdrama · 02/11/2023 00:04

Boyfriend of six months. I drove 10 miles earlier to pick him up and then another 6 miles to the car garage so he could pick his car up after being repaired. Afterwards he said he needed to go into b and m next door so I went in with him and picked up a couple of items that came to around 4 pound. When we were at the checkout I said oh can I just put these on yours as it's quicker. He said loudly where other people could hear that he is not a sugar daddy and he might as well have got an Uber as I was supposed to be saving him money by giving him a lift. I was embarrassed so I quickly left but I challenged him about it outside and said that he tried to embarrass me in public. He called me again on the way home and ranted to me that I had just seen him pay a large car repair bill and I should have more compassion and money doesn't grow on trees. By this point I was upset and I just said I would transfer him the four pound but he wouldn't accept that and then said it had been a joke. I feel so humiliated and upset and I'm seriously considering dumping him as surely this is likely to just be the start of his meanness?

OP posts:
PilatesPeach · 02/11/2023 17:41

Bin him, my fanny would gallop in the opposite direction. What a knobhead.

sugarrosepetal · 02/11/2023 17:42

Don't even consider it, just do it. What an absolute c.nt! You're better off without that in your life.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 02/11/2023 17:42

The car can be repaired but there's isn't a repair ship for personality.

The tightness work irritate me but the shouting at me would send me over the edge entirely. How dare he?

You need to tell Poundland Sugar Daddy to go.

Imagwine · 02/11/2023 17:49

The honeymoon period is over. He’s showing you who he really is now. And it’s not attractive.

Imagwine · 02/11/2023 17:50

You need to tell Poundland Sugar Daddy to go.

😂

ArtyStripedSocks · 02/11/2023 17:50

I usually look for the positives in these sorts of posts, but my considered advice to you is bin him.

Fiddlesticksand · 02/11/2023 17:53

Dump him

noooooooo · 02/11/2023 17:53

six miles for four quid in an Uber? Where does he live, 1992? I suppose if he’s generally a generous joker and it was a gag that didn’t land well, fair enough. I know people who’d say this stuff and not mean it, they’d be happy to pay but just like the wind-up. Doesn’t totally sound like that’s who either of you are tbh.

bandmdrama · 02/11/2023 17:55

I'm still here just reading all the comments and digesting it. He is older than me by 11 years for the person who asked.

OP posts:
Epidote · 02/11/2023 17:57

Leave him.

momtoboys · 02/11/2023 17:59

Give him the 4 pound and send him on his way. I hope he is 17. That might make that behavior more understandable.

Snowpatrolling · 02/11/2023 17:59

Tell him to knock the £4 off the petrol money he owes you.
then dump him. You deserve better x

AbbeyGailsParty · 02/11/2023 18:01

🚩🚩🚩🚩 all over him.
His final remark that it was a joke is sick.
Walk away. Block him, ignore him, you’ve seen the real him.

L0bstersLass · 02/11/2023 18:04

He's dreadful.
My recommendation is to transfer the money to him and put "Goodbye Loser" as the reference message on the transaction.

treacletoffee23 · 02/11/2023 18:04

DickakertDickalert
you don’t try and embarrass people you are in a relationship with

DailyEnergyCrisis · 02/11/2023 18:04

You’re better than this (as demonstrated by how much you helped him today). Bin bin bin.

jupitermonket · 02/11/2023 18:15

bandmdrama · 02/11/2023 00:04

Boyfriend of six months. I drove 10 miles earlier to pick him up and then another 6 miles to the car garage so he could pick his car up after being repaired. Afterwards he said he needed to go into b and m next door so I went in with him and picked up a couple of items that came to around 4 pound. When we were at the checkout I said oh can I just put these on yours as it's quicker. He said loudly where other people could hear that he is not a sugar daddy and he might as well have got an Uber as I was supposed to be saving him money by giving him a lift. I was embarrassed so I quickly left but I challenged him about it outside and said that he tried to embarrass me in public. He called me again on the way home and ranted to me that I had just seen him pay a large car repair bill and I should have more compassion and money doesn't grow on trees. By this point I was upset and I just said I would transfer him the four pound but he wouldn't accept that and then said it had been a joke. I feel so humiliated and upset and I'm seriously considering dumping him as surely this is likely to just be the start of his meanness?

I would pay for a mere colleague’s mere £4 worth of stuff on my card if I was putting stuff through anyway, let alone a girlfriend of 6 months who had just done me a nice favour by picking me up!

What a tool. Trust your gut and dump him - not for the incident itself but for the fact he made you feel sad and humiliated and doesn’t care.

Mix56 · 02/11/2023 18:16

Wow what a peach.
FOUR pounds. & he is shooting you out of orbit.
Come on, how does this look long term?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 02/11/2023 18:18

He called me again on the way home and ranted to me that I had just seen him pay a large car repair bill and I should have more compassion and money doesn't grow on trees.

I wouldn't pay him a single penny! Text him a screenshot of the shittest UBER rating possible and then block and consider it a lesson well learned OP.
Sorry I just cant imagine anyone speaking to someone like that after they'd just driven them around to collect their car. Ranting at you. Never mind a grateful thank you. Its disgusting.
11 years older than you - old enough to know better. The mean streak is probably ingrained by now.
Don't feel humiliated, just feel glad you found out early what he's really like.

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 02/11/2023 18:19

Oh get rid OP

Wonderfulz · 02/11/2023 18:21

you'd have known it’s a joke immediately if it had been a joke. Such mean spirited behaviour after you’d spent time driving him around.

cakewench · 02/11/2023 18:21

"Oh that entirely unfunny thing I said? That made you so upset? IT WAS A JOKE HAHAHA stop being so easily upset!"

Listen to him. This is who he is. I bet if he (or anyone else, really) told you that you'd upset them, you would apologise, not turn it into their problem.

Bin him!

LimePi · 02/11/2023 18:22

Yep. Dump him

hookiewookie29 · 02/11/2023 18:23

Tell him to take it off the petrol money he owes you for getting him out....

Sparkleshine21 · 02/11/2023 18:26

Ew ew ew. No, you know you deserve better than this. I really believe that some older guys go for girls younger than them, because women their age crack onto these kind of antics straightaway and consequently wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole.

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