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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aibu to be upset about this, did he overreact?

215 replies

bandmdrama · 02/11/2023 00:04

Boyfriend of six months. I drove 10 miles earlier to pick him up and then another 6 miles to the car garage so he could pick his car up after being repaired. Afterwards he said he needed to go into b and m next door so I went in with him and picked up a couple of items that came to around 4 pound. When we were at the checkout I said oh can I just put these on yours as it's quicker. He said loudly where other people could hear that he is not a sugar daddy and he might as well have got an Uber as I was supposed to be saving him money by giving him a lift. I was embarrassed so I quickly left but I challenged him about it outside and said that he tried to embarrass me in public. He called me again on the way home and ranted to me that I had just seen him pay a large car repair bill and I should have more compassion and money doesn't grow on trees. By this point I was upset and I just said I would transfer him the four pound but he wouldn't accept that and then said it had been a joke. I feel so humiliated and upset and I'm seriously considering dumping him as surely this is likely to just be the start of his meanness?

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 02/11/2023 13:30

I'd have to point out how much money you did save him by giving him a lift Vs what he would have paid for an Uber, minus the £4 to show him that you'd still saved him money.
Then I'd dump him.
I would just need to be right in this situation

Manadou · 02/11/2023 13:30

Dump him.

Bluewater1 · 02/11/2023 13:31

Let you drive him around but couldn't pay a measly 4 quid for you, embarrassed you in public, continuing in private then tried to gaslight and say it was in fact a joke.
Run OP

potatoheads · 02/11/2023 13:32

He's no keeper. He expects you to run around after him and spend your money on him (petrol) but then humiliated you in public over £4. Why are you with him?

Montegufoni2017 · 02/11/2023 13:33

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Be grateful you’re only 6 months in, get out of this now.

toomuchfaff · 02/11/2023 13:36

wow... he has shown you who he is, even if he puts the mask back on, you know who he is underneath.

public humiliation, nasty, mean, entitled, and then tries to pass it all off as a "joke", nah... absolutely amazing character of a man you've got there, throw him in the bin and quick. Don't let him wangle out of this, this is just the start, it'll get worse and more frequent. Gaslighting, narcissistic tendencies

tattygrl · 02/11/2023 13:45

Write him a cheque for £4 and post it to him.

And LTB.

Swanfeet · 02/11/2023 13:48

Get out quick, this can only get worse. I’m sorry he made you feel so embarrassed.

Tryandfindout · 02/11/2023 13:52

Wasn't a joke at all

Runningonjammiedodgers · 02/11/2023 13:52

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

theresastormcoming · 02/11/2023 13:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pezdeoro41 · 02/11/2023 13:56

Yeah he’s not a keeper. I’d be tempted to put £4 through his door with a note wishing him all the best!

MsRosley · 02/11/2023 13:57

He's a fucking arsehole. I'd tell him that, then block him absolutely everywhere.

MsRosley · 02/11/2023 13:58

Pezdeoro41 · 02/11/2023 13:56

Yeah he’s not a keeper. I’d be tempted to put £4 through his door with a note wishing him all the best!

Even better, get a bank to change £4 into pennies, then load them all through his letterbox.

Mamabear48 · 02/11/2023 13:58

Bin! What a massive asshole

Yeahno · 02/11/2023 14:00

FGS, save yourself years of misery. Dump him now.

TeaGinandFags · 02/11/2023 14:02

Only a joke?

As Lady Mary in Downton said, the bully's defence!

StaunchMomma · 02/11/2023 14:03

Yup, I agree with PPs. He needs to go!

That's 3 massive red flags in one morning - prioritising his financials over yours (as if you hadn't spent your time and petrol to help him out!), embarrassing you in public and now gaslighting you into accepting his comments as 'a joke'.

Feck that!

I'd be binning him off asap, and putting him squarely on his arse (verbally, obviously) on my way out.

What a twat!

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/11/2023 14:04

What a nasty prick - and a stupid one at that if he can’t do the fucking maths about how much money you’d already saved him.

Dump immediately with no hesitation.

StaunchMomma · 02/11/2023 14:04

tattygrl · 02/11/2023 13:45

Write him a cheque for £4 and post it to him.

And LTB.

She could stick 400 pennies to his windshield with duct tape 😁

Undisclosedlocation · 02/11/2023 14:08

Send him an invoice for your petrol. Add an hourly charge for your time. Then deduct the £4
After all, you aren’t a ‘sugar mummy’

Oh, and ditch him. He’s a tight, cruel loser

gemma19846 · 02/11/2023 14:10

What about the petrol money you wasted picking him up and driving him around! Get....rid....!!

Bobbotgegrinch · 02/11/2023 14:10

Yep, fuck that. You'd just done him a favour and he decided to be a bellend

Dustpantsandbush · 02/11/2023 14:18

He has properly mugged you off OP. He’s a tight arsed using cunt. Get him in the sea.

FreddysSquishyBollock · 02/11/2023 14:19

Vinrouge4 · 02/11/2023 13:29

It wasn't a joke though, was it? I would transfer the £4 to make a point.

Perhaps with a pithy ‘Farewell’ in the notes part!

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