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Original poster

How often do you have sex?

254 replies

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

OP posts:
mumguilt999 · 29/10/2023 18:32

Having sex right now for the sixth time today, just came whilst typing this

Original poster
Lilclover · 29/10/2023 18:32

@GardeningForever DH making dinner so don’t think throwing my leg over him now is the safest idea. And yes imagine…my DH cooks…that’ll be the next thing!

OP posts:
Aramist · 29/10/2023 18:35

mumguilt999 · 29/10/2023 18:32

Having sex right now for the sixth time today, just came whilst typing this

Wtf 🤣🤣🤣

bestunsaid · 29/10/2023 18:35

@mumguilt999 good for you lass! hope you manage to get another ride in when doing the dishes,that's my favourite !!😃

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 29/10/2023 18:36

GarlicBroccolini · 29/10/2023 13:03

Your Fanny must be in bits

😂😂😂😂😂😂

ginnyginnygin · 29/10/2023 18:41

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 18:32

@GardeningForever DH making dinner so don’t think throwing my leg over him now is the safest idea. And yes imagine…my DH cooks…that’ll be the next thing!

Gosh how modern!

lwishyouwould · 29/10/2023 18:45

@Lilclover I'm very happy for you that you're getting so much. Well done.

I'm afraid your replies, particularly to @bestunsaid just make you look like a bitchy mean girl (woman 😉). You come across as really unpleasant.

ohme · 29/10/2023 18:45

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 18:32

@GardeningForever DH making dinner so don’t think throwing my leg over him now is the safest idea. And yes imagine…my DH cooks…that’ll be the next thing!

The next thing for what?

SplendidUtterly · 29/10/2023 18:46

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 18:32

@GardeningForever DH making dinner so don’t think throwing my leg over him now is the safest idea. And yes imagine…my DH cooks…that’ll be the next thing!

He cooks too? What a catch.

yellowlane · 29/10/2023 18:50

Fair play to you op. About once a week here. Been with dh 17 years and married 15. Have pre teens so don't get much time when we're home together and alone and by the time we get home from dc sports (4 nights week) it's time for me and dc to go to bed (10pm).

My dc were conceived through ivf, and my bf had had a full term stillbirth baby whilst I was pregnant. I think me and dh might have dtd about 2-3 times as I was very anxious.

DragonFly98 · 29/10/2023 18:52

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

The sex isn't shocking but a 36 year old with a 22 year old is.

icantchangetime · 29/10/2023 18:55

I feel like a failure reading this. I just don't have the energy or lifestyle to match this.

Dullardmullard · 29/10/2023 18:56

Question when did you start having sex again after the baby was born? As many women feel pain not all but many do for months after.

fair enough before hand loads of sex but after a baby mmmm

DragonFly98 · 29/10/2023 18:56

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:31

I put her in the cot once a day for a nap so that she gets used to it. She sleeps in her next to me at night.

Show quote history

You would risk SIDS so your baby gets used to their cot?

Original poster
Lilclover · 29/10/2023 19:05

Dullardmullard · 29/10/2023 18:56

Question when did you start having sex again after the baby was born? As many women feel pain not all but many do for months after.

fair enough before hand loads of sex but after a baby mmmm

exactly 2 weeks

OP posts:
Dullardmullard · 29/10/2023 19:13

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 19:05

exactly 2 weeks

Show quote history

Seriously fucking hell

I had stitches with one and no way in hell was I ready for that at 2 weeks plus my boobs leaked all the damn time put me right off.

I had no stitches with another and it was bloody painful after 8 weeks so we didn’t till gone 6 months and it was still damn tender.

c section 4 or 5 months after as my wound was damn sore for ages

most women are still swollen down there unless a section of course and then your navigating the wound and stitches.

plus is the wait 6 weeks not in play any more my kids are all adults now.

Original poster
Lilclover · 29/10/2023 19:16

Dullardmullard · 29/10/2023 19:13

Seriously fucking hell

I had stitches with one and no way in hell was I ready for that at 2 weeks plus my boobs leaked all the damn time put me right off.

I had no stitches with another and it was bloody painful after 8 weeks so we didn’t till gone 6 months and it was still damn tender.

c section 4 or 5 months after as my wound was damn sore for ages

most women are still swollen down there unless a section of course and then your navigating the wound and stitches.

plus is the wait 6 weeks not in play any more my kids are all adults now.

Show quote history

I thought it was 6 weeks too then health visitor said it’s ok as long as you feel ready

OP posts:
Flori7 · 29/10/2023 19:28

It’s really wonderful you’re so happy. We don’t have loads of sex by your standards although we go through dry spells and spells when we have quite regular sex depending on life, work and most of all kids. I am also very happily married as it happens but I never gloat about it in real life as I don’t want to tempt fate. I always think life is unpredictable, especially marriage, and we never know what hand we will get dealt. Whether we are going through a dry spell or not though, it’s still nice. We can watch a film together or have a good conversation without it resulting in sex for instance.

It really doesn’t matter how much you get. (I noticed you assumed a poster wasn’t getting any sex due to her tone. Some women would love to not have sex regularly so not really an insult. Especially with the menopause perhaps. Men can also lose their libido with age. Also totally fine. Hopefully your older husband doesn’t for you.) What matters is being compatible with your partner.

Ollifer · 29/10/2023 19:29

You've started threads before about this haven't you op? Not sure what you really gain from it, you aren't looking for advice or anything just droning on about your amaaaaazinnngggg sex life (yawn). Why??

Flori7 · 29/10/2023 19:32

Dullardmullard · 29/10/2023 19:13

Seriously fucking hell

I had stitches with one and no way in hell was I ready for that at 2 weeks plus my boobs leaked all the damn time put me right off.

I had no stitches with another and it was bloody painful after 8 weeks so we didn’t till gone 6 months and it was still damn tender.

c section 4 or 5 months after as my wound was damn sore for ages

most women are still swollen down there unless a section of course and then your navigating the wound and stitches.

plus is the wait 6 weeks not in play any more my kids are all adults now.

Show quote history

I had a section and had to buy thick maternity pads for 8.5 weeks. I thought only vaginal birth caused heavy bleeding.

OP, all that sex must have made your vagina resilient if you were able to have sex two weeks after giving birth. Lucky you.

lockedinflavour · 29/10/2023 19:42

icantchangetime · 29/10/2023 18:55

I feel like a failure reading this. I just don't have the energy or lifestyle to match this.

Oh please don't! It's obviously total bullshit

Runningonjammiedodgers · 29/10/2023 20:25

PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2023 09:27

Oh dear...

It's a very personal story and I've told bits of it on here usually sharing far too much so apologies. But I do think it's important.

Stage 1 - always able to orgasm when masturbating but in a way a partner couldn't help with. Never orgasmed with someone else in the room even if masturbating. Tried vibrators, uncomfortable and not useful. Had sex therapy which was all about 'relaxing'. No good.

Stage 2 - huge life event (bereavement). Sex drive through the roof but no partner. Tried a vibrator again, this time a bullet (previous vibrators always advised by partner to get the most expensive and huge). Tried lube - gamechanger. And because off work and ds older, had time - like 90 minutes - to focus NOT on relaxing but on arousal. What did I actually like? Spent time on omgyes website - v helpful. Experimented by having a feel inside while masturbating (i normally dont) and spotted that I was holding back in a specific way. This gave me the knowledge to physically change the way I reacted. Bingo - orgasm in a way a partner could be involved with.

Essential accompaniment; psychotherapy. Not sex therapy but all about the way I do relationships (summary: incredibly needy and passive aggressive).

Stage 3: multiple casual partners, and by being extremely bossy and not caring about them, had much better sex and learned more about it. Eventually with a very nice man I only met once but who was willing to do what I said and keep doing it, I got there.

Hope thats some help [Head in hands]

Thank you! Will have a nosy at the omgyes website. It's so bloody frustrating as my BF is lovely and puts huge amounts of time into trying to make it feel good for me but I just can't get there.

CarPour · 29/10/2023 23:31

Did you really want to have sex 2 weeks after giving birth? I can't imagine wanting anything inserted at that time. It would be so bloody painful.

As long as both partners are happy then it doesn't matter how often sex happens, but I think sometimes when it becomes an everyday occurance there can be a bit of an expectation there

CarPour · 29/10/2023 23:35

Like shagging 4 hrs before labour and 2 weeks after giving birth isn't really anything to do with your sex drive. You could have the highest sex drive in the world and yet not be able to or want to have sex in either of those situations as it's uncomfortable/painful

Torganer · 29/10/2023 23:36

Have it when you feel like it. It’s not a competition.