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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How often do you have sex?

254 replies

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

OP posts:
AnotherCountryMummy · 29/10/2023 06:45

Stealth boast. Does your husband also earn £300,000?

Itsjustmeee · 29/10/2023 06:49

I think in the first 10 years of marriage probably most days
now it’s probably 2-3 times a week
been married 24 years

QuizzlyBears · 29/10/2023 06:51

Generally every day, unless one of us isn’t feeling great or I’ve just got my period. There’s no pressure or expectation though, sometimes we just cuddle and that’s equally as lovely. We like morning sex - we’ll quite often shower and get sort of ready for the day but we end up back in bed before we go out to work. No kids though!

Thisthingwedo · 29/10/2023 06:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RedPinkPeach · 29/10/2023 06:56

Oliotya · 29/10/2023 06:06

You're the poster with the "passionate encounter" and the imaginary solicitor aren't you?
Nobody has sex 4 times a day. If you do, you're not doing it right.

Yup. Can’t believe everyone fell for this.

CheekyHobson · 29/10/2023 07:00

I hope you drink a lot of cranberry juice.

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:00

CollagenQueen · 29/10/2023 05:58

So, you say you have sex up to 4 times a day. Let’s assume that you work. You get home at 6pm and have all the jobs to do that life brings, like making dinner, eating dinner, clearing up, feeding baby, getting stuff ready for the next day, blah blah. Let’s say you go to bed at 11pm. So you’d be having sex 4 times between 6pm and 11pm, between all your chores? I’m sorry, but I call BS.

it was upto 4 times a day pre baby if you actually read the post…

OP posts:
Sorrynotsorry2 · 29/10/2023 07:01

Used to be up to 4 times a day ?..

Op how do you find the time ? Is it four 30 seconds a go?

Or is this inbetween doing life admin and making your evening meal?

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:02

Oliotya · 29/10/2023 06:06

You're the poster with the "passionate encounter" and the imaginary solicitor aren't you?
Nobody has sex 4 times a day. If you do, you're not doing it right.

No but I know which thread you’re talking about

OP posts:
BigHoops · 29/10/2023 07:03

Another one calling BS. I mean, good for you OP but like others I'm struggling to comprehend the how?? We have DC who are a bit older and they get up very early so morning sex is out. We both work full time, and are exhausted in the evenings. Thank God for WFH days as that's really our best opportunity!

When DC were 5 months neither of them slept. Which meant neither of us had energy beyond basically functioning.

If this is genuine then fair okay but I'd love to know your schedule!

BigHoops · 29/10/2023 07:05

Ah. Just seen that you are 27. At that age I had plenty of energy!

PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2023 07:07

I suppose all of us have sex 'up to' 4 x a day...

Together 3 years but only see each other at weekends, works out 3 x a week.

If there's a man involved, imo it makes a huge difference how quickly he comes. In the past I've only had partners who took ages to orgasm and tbh it meant having sex felt like a big undertaking- also I wasn't coming myself back then so less incentive. Probably around once a fortnight became the norm, especially with young children.

Dp is much quicker - and v hot - and I'm finally orgasming myself. Hence huge increase in frequency.

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:09

Why do people come on just to be nasty/call BS.

during the week it’s usually when we go to bed. At weekend usually once during the day when baby is napping in the cot and once then when we go to bed.

(this is for those who’ve asked the schedule)

OP posts:
Hearmenow23 · 29/10/2023 07:14

Yeah teens, 20s, early 30s couldn't get enough. Different story hitting peri with other life stresses.

Fs365 · 29/10/2023 07:20

None this year, maybe twice last year, perhaps an average of twice a year for the last decade

Sprogonthetyne · 29/10/2023 07:28

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:09

Why do people come on just to be nasty/call BS.

during the week it’s usually when we go to bed. At weekend usually once during the day when baby is napping in the cot and once then when we go to bed.

(this is for those who’ve asked the schedule)

Missing the point but your 4 month old goes for cot naps? I thought you were ment to keep them in the same room as you until 6 months to reduce SIDS risk.

LubaLuca · 29/10/2023 07:29

This is like one of those adverts for hair dye - 'covers up to 100% of greys'.

Surely real life gets in the way of baby nap sex most weekends? You'll be out of the house a lot of the time, up to your elbows in gardening, tip runs, cooking, cleaning...

You show real dedication to orgasm though. I simply couldn't be bothered to drop everything, undress, get out of breath then clean myself after in the middle of the day.

PosterBoy · 29/10/2023 07:30

Used to be quite often, could be morning and evening with occasional mid-day, but that was in my twenties.

More kids = more tired, though pregnancy always made me insanely horny.

Your dh does well to keep up. All my partners have eventually called me a nympho as it knocks their self esteem. I just think it's easier for women to orgasm multiple times. Men after a certain age (and 40s is definitely a possibility) really slow down in terms of refractory period.

Nowadays? I'm single. I'd like more frequent but can't be arsed chasing it so I have a fwb. We do weekends of pure sex, drugs, non-rock n roll. With a few weeks off in between as we live apart. Such are my 50s!

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:31

Sprogonthetyne · 29/10/2023 07:28

Missing the point but your 4 month old goes for cot naps? I thought you were ment to keep them in the same room as you until 6 months to reduce SIDS risk.

I put her in the cot once a day for a nap so that she gets used to it. She sleeps in her next to me at night.

OP posts:
fourelementary · 29/10/2023 07:33

Sprogonthetyne · 29/10/2023 07:28

Missing the point but your 4 month old goes for cot naps? I thought you were ment to keep them in the same room as you until 6 months to reduce SIDS risk.

Maybe that’s why they end up having sex so they stay in the same room?

Dery · 29/10/2023 07:36

Your sex life is certainly at the busier end of the spectrum but as long as you’re happy with the amount you’re having (and it sounds like you are), then it really doesn’t matter how much sex other people are having.

EmmaDilemma5 · 29/10/2023 07:36

So you were only 22 and he was 36 when you got together? I think that's probably a big aspect of your very frequent sex life. Also, yours still quite early in your relationship.

I'm 37, been with husband for 17 years. Probably started off everyday, moving to few times a week. Now, probably 1-2 times a month which seems pretty standard.

fourelementary · 29/10/2023 07:36

We choose quality over quantity, so 3 ish times a week is probably average. Don’t really do quickies, but on the odd occasion that would be an extra.
But with an uncomplicated birth and a good sleeper I can see how a small baby doesn’t necessarily impact a descent sex life. But as they get older…

Lordofmyflies · 29/10/2023 07:37

Good for you OP. As long as you are both happy, enjoy it while it lasts! You're still young and only been together for 5 years so I would expect you to be having having more sex than a menopausal woman who's been with their partner for 25 years and has teenager and their boyfriends / girlfriends coming in at 2am!- make the most of it.

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