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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How often do you have sex?

254 replies

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

OP posts:
Somanycats · 29/10/2023 23:41

There is nothing in the world I would like to do four times a day. Surely it's got to take 20 mins minimum, plus getting your kit on and off and having a brush up before and after. Just no. I want to have time to read a book, go out for dinner or have a mooch round the shops occasionally.

Bbq1 · 29/10/2023 23:48

What's your baby doing when you are having sex half the day?

cardiganboo · 29/10/2023 23:59

YouJustDoYou · 29/10/2023 08:29

I'd be so bored being on my back up to 4 times a day, banging away. Too much else life stuff to do for that.

😂😂 this

cardiganboo · 30/10/2023 00:01

I can't even be arsed making 4 cups of tea a day never mind getting pumped 4 times a day. I must be lacking in those urges but it sounds awful. Your vagina must be numb.

SwordToFlamethrower · 30/10/2023 00:15

Is that 3 orgasms for him and at least 3 for you, or?

IHateLegDay · 30/10/2023 00:35

It varies from daily to once a month. It completely depends on what's going on in our lives/how tired we are/how well the kids are sleeping.
If the kids are going through a phase of coming into our bed in the night then we can't. If they sleep through and we're not too tired, we will.

CallieQ · 30/10/2023 00:38

Definite stealth boast

Moro93 · 30/10/2023 01:34

cardiganboo · 29/10/2023 23:59

😂😂 this

Show quote history

@YouJustDoYou @cardiganboo Surely you aren’t on your backs every time?

cardiganboo · 30/10/2023 02:14

Like a sheep that needs pushed back over!

Robotalkingrubbish · 30/10/2023 02:36

I’ve read some rubbish on Mumsnet but this one is priceless.💩

financialcareerstuff · 30/10/2023 03:33

Shifts around a bit but I'm on the high end with my husband/ partner of 6 yrs. we have sex probably 10-12 times a week. Some days not if tired or sick, otherwise once at night as norm, with morning added on if we got good sleep and aren't rushing up, with third post-coffee late morning sex at weekends, or weekdays if we're not too busy, as we both work from home. (my favourite time as I have more energy!) no young children though.

My previous marriage was about once every few months, because he didn't have the desire.

Sex now is overall fantastic, chemistry is very strong....though occasionally I do get tender!

RiderofRohan · 30/10/2023 04:57

I have a job, hobbies and interests, so the thought of wasting all my free time every day on mindless boinking is nightmarish.

DH also has ambitions and a personality outside wanting to screw, so on average we have sex 1-3 times a week.

StarlightLady · 30/10/2023 06:15

I suspect those enjoying the most sex are not established couples.

You don’t have to be a couple for hormones and passion to kick in.

Oliotya · 30/10/2023 08:17

Crushed23 · 30/10/2023 07:21

I recognise OP from the thread below from a month ago. You were 25 and 40 then but you’re 27 and 41 now?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4904075-to-think-the-young-gfwife-gets-a-raw-deal?page=1

She says its not her. But 100% is. Bit insecure I think.

PixiePirate · 30/10/2023 08:22

I don’t understand when people get the time to have good sex that often tbh.

Joey87 · 30/10/2023 08:54

Crushed23 · 30/10/2023 07:21

I recognise OP from the thread below from a month ago. You were 25 and 40 then but you’re 27 and 41 now?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4904075-to-think-the-young-gfwife-gets-a-raw-deal?page=1

Yes, me too.

OP, I wonder if your DH feels a certain something about the fact he’s older than you which might explain his voracious sexual appetite: as if it’s no question that he can keep up with you and give you the same experience a man your age could?

I’m not saying that older (relative to the OP) men and indeed women can’t be as good in bed but if I had a similar age difference with a younger man it’d definitely cross my mind that he could be with a woman his age. And I say that as a confident woman.

Apologies if I’m reading too much into it. I find relationships with an age difference interesting as my both parents are only 18 years older than me! My husband is a year older than me and I really enjoy the fact that we went to concerts to see artists we both loved when dating, can share jokes about similar cultural references etc.

By the way, I don’t need a detailed account of how steamy it is! Please, spare me! 😂

JL690 · 30/10/2023 09:38

I have fantasy sex 3-4 times a day. In real life it's more like once a week on average.

CallieQ · 30/10/2023 09:54

She says its not her. But 100% is. Bit insecure I think.

Another stealth boasty thread

financialcareerstuff · 30/10/2023 10:28

RiderofRohan · 30/10/2023 04:57

I have a job, hobbies and interests, so the thought of wasting all my free time every day on mindless boinking is nightmarish.

DH also has ambitions and a personality outside wanting to screw, so on average we have sex 1-3 times a week.

Right, so people who have plenty sex are mindless and don't have jobs, hobbies, ambitions, or personality beyond sex? Why on earth would you think that?

If anything it's likely the opposite, as high libidinal drive often cuts across multiple areas of life - there is essentially a lot of physical energy and desire to connect with people/experience in the person's system.

That has nothing to do with whether the OP is telling the truth of course, but you've expressed a prejudice against people who have lots of sex here, which I think is more about your own defensiveness.

GardeningForever · 30/10/2023 10:33

I've just looked at the other thread and sounds like the same person as this OP but apparently they had a 4 month old DS whereas this OP says it's a DD. As both threads are clearly BS she probably changes it as she sees fit. I loved the high finance job straight out of uni, bought investment property at 21😄, earns more than her older DH. I suspect the OP is either fictional or has a lot of issues and is living some sort of fantasy life on-line. Either way she/he is getting the attention they clearly crave.

Crushed23 · 30/10/2023 10:54

GardeningForever · 30/10/2023 10:33

I've just looked at the other thread and sounds like the same person as this OP but apparently they had a 4 month old DS whereas this OP says it's a DD. As both threads are clearly BS she probably changes it as she sees fit. I loved the high finance job straight out of uni, bought investment property at 21😄, earns more than her older DH. I suspect the OP is either fictional or has a lot of issues and is living some sort of fantasy life on-line. Either way she/he is getting the attention they clearly crave.

I am getting tired of the fantasists on MN tbh. It’s one thing bending the truth in your posts, but to start multiple fictional threads and lead people on for pages and pages is ridiculous.

There are 25 year-olds who buy 2 investment properties by the age of 21.

There are 25 year-olds who had an abusive childhood followed by an abusive relationship ‘that nearly killed’ them by the age of 21.

There are 25 year-olds who have already reached management level in their Finance job and earn £100k.

There are 25 year-olds who have the time and headspace to have sex 4 times a day because (say) they don’t have a high pressure high-paying management-level job in Finance.

There are 25 year-olds who got pregnant at 23/24 with a man 15 years their senior and now have a 5 month old baby.

But these are not the same 25 year-old. If you’re going to make up a story on MN, you can’t insult everyone’s intelligence by having great big gaping holes and inconsistencies all over it.

GardeningForever · 30/10/2023 10:58

@Crushed23 totally agree 👏

Onethingatatime23 · 30/10/2023 11:00

Hardly ever- we're 52 and 48. I think this is quite normal and it doesn't bother either of us. Was about twice a week in our 20s and gradually dwindled to once in a blue moon after having kids.

StarlightLady · 30/10/2023 11:27

@Onethingatatime23 - I don't think hardly ever is normal at 52 and 48 but as long as you are both happy (I wouldn't be with htat set up) that's all that matters.

I have a widow friend in her 70s who has 2 "lovers" and still "enjoying a regular service". The bits in quotes are her language not mine. Although she does say she would never take on a full time man again.

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