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Relationships

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Original poster

How often do you have sex?

254 replies

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

OP posts:

PosterBoy · 30/10/2023 12:06

Usually there's one person happy with it and another outsourcing.

GardeningForever · 30/10/2023 12:39

StarlightLady · 30/10/2023 11:27

@Onethingatatime23 - I don't think hardly ever is normal at 52 and 48 but as long as you are both happy (I wouldn't be with htat set up) that's all that matters.

I have a widow friend in her 70s who has 2 "lovers" and still "enjoying a regular service". The bits in quotes are her language not mine. Although she does say she would never take on a full time man again.

I think it depends on where you're at when you're 48/52. If you've been together a long time, both work, have kids, the general pressures of everyday life, I think it's perfectly normal. I'm sure there are couples in long marriages who are still at it like rabbits but I should imagine they are the minority. Married couples tend to have a lot more holding them together than just sex. If you are single, recently divorced/split up, in a relatively new relationship then I'm sure you may want sex a lot more as it's a novelty/exciting.
The lady in her 70s sounds like she's having a lovely time. Good for her👍 but presumably she's not got many other pressures in life at that age and it's providing great entertainment. Completely different scenario.

GardeningForever · 30/10/2023 12:42

PosterBoy · 30/10/2023 12:06

Usually there's one person happy with it and another outsourcing.

Or to put it another way, one person committed to the relationship and the other a lying, cheating arse who doesn't have the balls to speak up and say they aren't happy with the sex!

Aikko · 30/10/2023 12:44

Crushed23 · 30/10/2023 07:21

I recognise OP from the thread below from a month ago. You were 25 and 40 then but you’re 27 and 41 now?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4904075-to-think-the-young-gfwife-gets-a-raw-deal?page=1

From that thread, the OP says:
"Well that’s the Situation my husband is in and it’s not cringey at all to me? In fact his own mum said to me she’s never seen him so happy and content and we’ve been together 4 years now. I don’t think people are just so quick to judge and I don’t really genuinely understand why"

I'm not surprised he's happy and content - considering how much sex he's getting with someone 14-15 years his junior. 😂

Tinklyheadtilt · 30/10/2023 16:00

Sounds like a power imbalance relationship I'm afraid OP. Pretty dodgy...I bet you were a teenager when you got together. Was he your teacher or something?

Fawbs89 · 30/10/2023 16:01

Once a week been together 12 years

Runningonjammiedodgers · 30/10/2023 16:14

Tinklyheadtilt · 30/10/2023 16:00

Sounds like a power imbalance relationship I'm afraid OP. Pretty dodgy...I bet you were a teenager when you got together. Was he your teacher or something?

Oh no, not at all! She actually earns more than him in a high paying finance role and has two investment properties. All by the age of 24 🙄

PeacefulPottering · 30/10/2023 16:18

I don't know about OPs previous threads but hair done , fake tan, sexy lingerie sex, ( or any sex!) two weeks after your first baby is getting into delusional waters!
I was a tired, emotional,leaking, bleeding, hormonal for baby( not husband) mass of worries at two weeks post partum. I might be an outlier but I really don't think so.

Anotherparkingthread · 30/10/2023 16:20

To everybody saying op is lying, I have sex about as often as op. Perhaps a bit more but that's probably due to not having a baby. We have also been together 5 years. At weekends it's 2 or 3 times a day. Occasionally if we go out and stay out late we won't have sex when we get back in the evening but even that's unusual.

During COVID we were at it 12 hours a day some days, it was great.

Relationship is very good and we are both very happy.

Aramist · 30/10/2023 16:25

@Anotherparkingthread 12 hours a day during COVID.
Wtaf.

I wouldn't have a minge left after 2 hours, never mind 12.
Even after 2 hours, I'd need a week off.

JL690 · 30/10/2023 16:28

@Anotherparkingthread Hi Mrs Sumner 😉

GingerLiberalFeminist · 30/10/2023 16:29

You beat me 😁, I thought I was high with an average 5x a week (and to be honest I limit DH to that, he'd have it three times a day happily but my body can't take it!).

GingerLiberalFeminist · 30/10/2023 16:30

We had to go six weeks after my caesarean and he practically exploded, even though I was lending him a hand most nights!

Joey87 · 30/10/2023 16:46

PeacefulPottering · 30/10/2023 16:18

You were certainly not alone. Until many weeks later (well into double figures!) than two weeks postpartum, I was still trying to find a spare few mins to brush my teeth or get a glass of water when my husband went back to work, let alone apply fake tan. And my baby was, by nothing more than pure luck, a dream from very young.

A couple of other PPs have suggested the OP isn’t who she says she is so I would take it with a pinch of salt. I must say her version of the postpartum period is like nothing I experienced, nor any friends or family who were also very much in the trenches. My husband was also very worried about getting intimate after my section, as was I, and would have been more so if I had stitches after a vaginal birth I’m sure. Even in my NCT group chat, it was discussed by a number of people how painful sex still was much later than 2 weeks PP. So many parts of the story don’t seem real to me.

Megifer · 30/10/2023 16:51

Defo not a post by a dude fantasising 🤣

If its not op honestly no one really gives a shit, the reactions would have been a mix of chinny reckons or wondering how on earth you find the time. It certainly won't be jealousy.

jazzyfips · 30/10/2023 16:56

Every day, with the occasional day off.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 30/10/2023 17:02

Me and dh both 43.
Full sex or oral around 3 times a week

itsafluffybag · 30/10/2023 19:36

@Aramist
Oh god I'm laughing so hard. Just read your post to DH and he laughed too

Aramist · 30/10/2023 19:44

itsafluffybag · 30/10/2023 19:36

@Aramist
Oh god I'm laughing so hard. Just read your post to DH and he laughed too

True though 🤣

PeacefulPottering · 30/10/2023 22:01

Anotherparkingthread · 30/10/2023 16:20

During COVID we were at it 12 hours a day some days, it was great.

Relationship is very good and we are both very happy.

But, but..... what do you actually mean by 12 hours 🥹
I mean, do you mean 12 hours just " in bed" or 12 hours of actual action stations full on sex?
My mind is literally blown if you can find sex interesting enough for 12 full on fricking hours!

Anotherparkingthread · 30/10/2023 22:38

Haha wow 😳 I didn't expect so many replies I did think it was that strange.

Yes 12 hours of full on sex, I'm not including any laying around.

I don't know why you wouldn't if you didn't have any other commitments, there's nothing else as enjoyable (at least not that's free and good for you!).

Ollifer · 30/10/2023 22:40

12 hours of straight up shagging is absolute bollocks 😂😂😂😂 this place is getting worse I swear it

Joey87 · 30/10/2023 22:45

Ollifer · 30/10/2023 22:40

12 hours of straight up shagging is absolute bollocks 😂😂😂😂 this place is getting worse I swear it

I love a good laugh before bed… 😆😆😆

monsteramunch · 30/10/2023 23:04

Anotherparkingthread · 30/10/2023 22:38

Haha wow 😳 I didn't expect so many replies I did think it was that strange.

Yes 12 hours of full on sex, I'm not including any laying around.

I don't know why you wouldn't if you didn't have any other commitments, there's nothing else as enjoyable (at least not that's free and good for you!).

12 hours with zero lying around? Sure... 🙄

12 hours in bed together with intermittent but regular shagging is lovely.

12 hours of nonstop penetration? Even if possible, not pleasurable.

PeacefulPottering · 30/10/2023 23:11