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Original poster

How often do you have sex?

254 replies

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 29/10/2023 10:28

I don't believe you either OP.

Joey87 · 29/10/2023 10:30

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:09

Why do people come on just to be nasty/call BS.

during the week it’s usually when we go to bed. At weekend usually once during the day when baby is napping in the cot and once then when we go to bed.

(this is for those who’ve asked the schedule)

I know not everyone does this but as a very anxious first time mum I do. Lullaby trust recommends baby is in the same room as you for the first six months, inc for naps. Not a mum shaming post before anyone says so but just another reason we really struggle getting in the mood with a baby a bit younger than yours. It’s obviously a massive passion killer! Forgot to mention this in my post above.

pineapplepinecones · 29/10/2023 10:31

I believe you ! At 27 it’s a lot of sex but not insane amounts.

if you still manage it at 45 I’ll be impressed.

I bet all your friends’ DH are now super jealous of your s
DH

Diymesss · 29/10/2023 10:33

About 4-8 times a week (depending on opportunity!)

40s, two year relationship

Joey87 · 29/10/2023 10:33

pineapplepinecones · 29/10/2023 10:31

I believe you ! At 27 it’s a lot of sex but not insane amounts.

if you still manage it at 45 I’ll be impressed.

I bet all your friends’ DH are now super jealous of your s
DH

My husband wouldn’t be. He’d find it exhausting and it wouldn’t be compatible. I have the higher sex drive during the week. He works ridiculously long hours though.

FrostieBoabby · 29/10/2023 10:34

Missing the point wondering if OP's DH has a penis beaker in every room?

bingbongbang23 · 29/10/2023 10:43

DaisyWaldron · 28/10/2023 22:48

3 times a day with a 5 month old baby? I'm pretty sure that is very much on the higher end of the spectrum. I think when mine were that age, sex was something we snuck in on the very rare occasions when the baby was asleep but not in actual physical contact with my body, and I didn't fall asleep as soon as I got horizontal.

So very very true! It definitely gets better when they get older but at 5months I am still in full blown survival mode (and sex is not high up on my list for survival mode!!)

Newnamehiwhodis · 29/10/2023 10:50

Sigh … you poor thing.
I had a lot of sex too at your age, and zero orgasm, because it took a LONG time for me to learn that pleasing “my man” wasn’t the power/ amazing thing I thought it was, and basically by not being with a partner who had the ability to slow down and focus on giving me pleasure too, I was treating myself like a sexual servant.

I hope you learn at a younger age than I did, and stop wasting your time thinking this is some measure of your worth.
It isn’t. Men will literally have sex with food, inanimate objects, anything at all they can stick their dick into.
they’re desperately horny creatures, for the most part… so basically all you’re announcing here is that you’ve quite likely never had a real orgasm.

Deargodletitgo · 29/10/2023 10:57

@newnamehiwhodis wow, what a completely necessary comment to make with no evidence to back up your assertions.

Mummyme87 · 29/10/2023 10:58

thats a lot. I’d end up with constant cystitis.
I’m 29weeks pregnant and had sex 3 times this pregnancy as I’m tired and pelvis is painful. Before that maybe 3-4 times a month, we have two DS 5 and 9.

Original poster
Lilclover · 29/10/2023 10:59

@Newnamehiwhodis i don’t feel obligated to have sex with him everyday, I want to. I orgasm every time or at least 95% of the time. Also seen someone saying about quality over quantity, just because we’re having it more frequently doesn’t mean it’s shit sex. There’s yesterday for example we had sex in the afternoon and by the time it came to the rugby last night we couldn’t keep our hands off each other dying for each other. We just fancy the life out of each other. For anyone who doesn’t believe me etc, I really hope you find something like this in your life or something that makes you as happy

OP posts:
RocketIceLollie · 29/10/2023 11:01

Couples at it 3 or 4 times a day the guys balls must be pretty much empty. Literally firing blanks.

Original poster
Lilclover · 29/10/2023 11:05

@Mummyme87 personally I find sex 3-4 times in a pregnancy mad. I’m not saying I don’t believe you or anything just when I was pregnant it actually got worse for a while. I remember being about 30 weeks pregnant and DH and I were at a football game and came home that night and honestly think we had sex 3 times that night alone. I was just horny as sin for him.

I’m not saying it’s good/bad, right/wrong etc just my own experience. It’s mad how everyone differs so much and works so differently.

OP posts:
Joey87 · 29/10/2023 11:25

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 11:05

@Mummyme87 personally I find sex 3-4 times in a pregnancy mad. I’m not saying I don’t believe you or anything just when I was pregnant it actually got worse for a while. I remember being about 30 weeks pregnant and DH and I were at a football game and came home that night and honestly think we had sex 3 times that night alone. I was just horny as sin for him.

I’m not saying it’s good/bad, right/wrong etc just my own experience. It’s mad how everyone differs so much and works so differently.

OP, you seem to enjoy talking about how much sex you have. (I recognise you from the thread about young wives being on the receiving end of resentment.) Maybe the group you were with found it a little hard to believe if you enjoy talking about it with people in real life too? I always feel like this when people talk about money. (In my experience, people with the most find it in bad taste.) I like to keep my sex life private personally, even with close friends. Same with talking about money. But that’s just us.

Mummyme87 · 29/10/2023 11:34

@Lilclover certainly not mad, but more common to have much less sex when pregnant. I would say you’re the anomaly. Some women’s sex drive goes up in pregnancy, others goes down…. Particularly when rolling over in bed causes pain let alone any other movement.

Bluesea123 · 29/10/2023 11:34

Yeah I’m pretty private about my sex life, but I’m happy with it!
I think it is harder to have such a full on sex life with toddler and older kids and you are working outside home. You just simply don’t get the alone time.

Ilovelurchers · 29/10/2023 12:12

Newnamehiwhodis · 29/10/2023 10:50

Sigh … you poor thing.
I had a lot of sex too at your age, and zero orgasm, because it took a LONG time for me to learn that pleasing “my man” wasn’t the power/ amazing thing I thought it was, and basically by not being with a partner who had the ability to slow down and focus on giving me pleasure too, I was treating myself like a sexual servant.

I hope you learn at a younger age than I did, and stop wasting your time thinking this is some measure of your worth.
It isn’t. Men will literally have sex with food, inanimate objects, anything at all they can stick their dick into.
they’re desperately horny creatures, for the most part… so basically all you’re announcing here is that you’ve quite likely never had a real orgasm.

Don't you consider it possible that OP, despite being a woman, might genuinely love sex? So much so that she also loves talking about it, which is why she made this thread?

Some women love sex. Some men don't. It's always seemed to me more likely that women would love it, as we are capable of deriving so much more sheer physical pleasure from it (in terms of number of orgasms at least).

I am a woman and I like it too. Possibly not as much as the OP, and not do I share her desire to talk about it to the same degree. But I don't see it as a measure of my worth at all. I just enjoy it. Is that OK with you?

PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2023 12:41

@PosterBoy nope, never had an orgasm from PIV or oral, I'm all about the fingers. Everyone is different.

PosterBoy · 29/10/2023 12:55

PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2023 12:41

@PosterBoy nope, never had an orgasm from PIV or oral, I'm all about the fingers. Everyone is different.

Oh wow that's really different! Cool. So, internal clit stimulation. Shame it took so long to find a bloke who could actually do it right! An under-rated skill.

Thanks for answering. I was just curious really, but you were so detailed with your story it was intriguing.

Do blended orgasms work for you? Fingers and tongue together? Those are my number one favourite route to orgasm.

OrlandointheWilderness · 29/10/2023 13:00

I would love it once a day. Really really would. However DP has a lower drive due to medication and it's every week/10 days. But it is very very good. I could quite happily rip his clothes off every day mind.

GarlicBroccolini · 29/10/2023 13:03

Your Fanny must be in bits

ginnyginnygin · 29/10/2023 13:28

pineapplepinecones · 29/10/2023 10:31

I believe you ! At 27 it’s a lot of sex but not insane amounts.

if you still manage it at 45 I’ll be impressed.

I bet all your friends’ DH are now super jealous of your s
DH

Of course. Everyone is jealous 🙄

Cas112 · 29/10/2023 13:41

About 3 times a week as an average but sometimes maybe everyday sometimes a couple times in a day sometimes a week without

Tryingtokeepcalmandcarryon · 29/10/2023 17:00

Just being really nosy OP, you said that you fancy the pants off him, just wondered if your husband is very classically good looking, the kind of guy that turns heads when he walks into a room or is the attraction and amount of sex more down to you having really great chemistry? Also, what are your tips to keeping that spark, and staying awake in bed in the evening for it! I guess you prioritise going to bed early?

bullseyeboat · 29/10/2023 17:01

pineapplepinecones · 29/10/2023 10:31

I believe you ! At 27 it’s a lot of sex but not insane amounts.

if you still manage it at 45 I’ll be impressed.

I bet all your friends’ DH are now super jealous of your s
DH

He will be pushing 60 by then so very unlikely