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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How often do you have sex?

254 replies

Lilclover · 28/10/2023 22:41

So we were on a night out recently and one of the girls asked how often everyone’s been having sex with their husbands/partners as her and DH are going through a dry spell. I said DH (41) and I (27) have sex at least once a day bar the first 2/3 days of my period and usually we can go 2/3 times a day on the weekends

everyone was really shocked and said that was an insane amount. They were once a week max most of them. We’ve been married 2 years, together 5 and have a 5 month old baby. We used to be at it anywhere between 1-4 times a day before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy we had sex right up until 4 hours before my waters broke.

genuinely just curious to know how often couples are having sex as i think I think it’s more than it actually is?

OP posts:
EmmaDilemma5 · 29/10/2023 07:37

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:31

I put her in the cot once a day for a nap so that she gets used to it. She sleeps in her next to me at night.

SIDS can happen anytime of day. They need to be with someone all the time, regardless of whether it's day or night.

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:38

EmmaDilemma5 · 29/10/2023 07:37

SIDS can happen anytime of day. They need to be with someone all the time, regardless of whether it's day or night.

We’re right next door with the camera monitor on. She’s fine.

OP posts:
Gillypie23 · 29/10/2023 07:42

You're totally lying 🤣

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 29/10/2023 07:45

Do you not have jobs? Or a tv?

Hibambinos · 29/10/2023 07:48

Oliotya · 29/10/2023 06:06

You're the poster with the "passionate encounter" and the imaginary solicitor aren't you?
Nobody has sex 4 times a day. If you do, you're not doing it right.

Brilliant!!! 🤣😂🤣

vestedinterests · 29/10/2023 07:55

@Whatelsecouldibecalled Grin

readingmakesmehappy · 29/10/2023 07:57

How on earth do you have time to do it that much?!????

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 08:10

Gillypie23 · 29/10/2023 07:42

You're totally lying 🤣

Based on? We have sex when we go to bed. And an extra time or two at the weekend.

OP posts:
Tryingtokeepcalmandcarryon · 29/10/2023 08:16

I do think this is a lot more than the ‘average’, but then you have only been together 5 years, in 15 years time you may have got a bit sick of it every day! When life gets busy with more children, school runs, admin, emotional dramas etc unfortunately sex for lots of couples becomes a want / extra rather than a need. I need sleep, headspace, to get work / housework / childcare done, to eat and drink but I don’t need sex to survive and sometimes after a 14 hour day with 2 children you feel unable to meet your own very basic needs, let alone add in the extras. :)

RedRobin100 · 29/10/2023 08:23

Christ on a bike - who the fuck would have the time (or the energy) for that?!

AnotherCountryMummy · 29/10/2023 08:26

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 07:09

Why do people come on just to be nasty/call BS.

during the week it’s usually when we go to bed. At weekend usually once during the day when baby is napping in the cot and once then when we go to bed.

(this is for those who’ve asked the schedule)

I guess people could ask the same question to you - why have you come on here to tell people how much sex you have?

The responses on here aren't going to make you change the amount you're having, so what's the point in asking?

You already know you have more than average after asking your sample of friends. Why do you need the validation that you're having loads of sex from people you don't know?

It's kind of weird and very braggy.

YouJustDoYou · 29/10/2023 08:27

Maybe once every week and a half as dh works away and sex is painful for me so most of the time I dread it.

thatwassociopathic · 29/10/2023 08:27

My last bf, I could have just rode him til the cows came home. I only saw him a few times a week but we would manage 8 times in 24 hours easily every time we met up. I'm 40 and if he hadn't dumped me I'd have done it as often as he'd like. If you find someone you fancy that much it's definitely doable. I'd never had that before and I REALLY miss it. 😔 I have a full time job and 2 dc, I could always find the energy as I fancied him SO much. Good on you OP, I hope I find that again

Epidote · 29/10/2023 08:27

If that pattern works for you, you shouldn't have to be bother about others couples patterns or take into account what they think about yours.

I had two coffees a day and never drink tea, does that makes me weird? I don't think so. Same for you here as soon as it works for you, that is fine.

YouJustDoYou · 29/10/2023 08:29

I'd be so bored being on my back up to 4 times a day, banging away. Too much else life stuff to do for that.

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 08:30

AnotherCountryMummy · 29/10/2023 08:26

I guess people could ask the same question to you - why have you come on here to tell people how much sex you have?

The responses on here aren't going to make you change the amount you're having, so what's the point in asking?

You already know you have more than average after asking your sample of friends. Why do you need the validation that you're having loads of sex from people you don't know?

It's kind of weird and very braggy.

I’m just intrigued because I thought it was a pretty normal amount. Myself and my ex were the same so I was basing it of all I know.

I don’t think it’s Braggy if people are comfortable with the amount of sex they’re having whether it’s once a day/week/month etc.

not trying to gain validation; just curious.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2023 08:33

@Lilclover genuine question - how long does it take you - first kiss to last gasp?

It might be more interesting to add up the number of minutes a week we all spend doing it. I would say I've only increased the amount of time I spend having sex by a small amount despite going from once a fortnight to 3 x a week.

Lilclover · 29/10/2023 08:35

@PermanentTemporary it depends to be honest. Sometimes there are quickies and sometimes it can be an hour (no that does not mean we’re having sex for an hour every night before someone says it lol)

OP posts:
clarepetal · 29/10/2023 08:39

Good for you!!

CarPour · 29/10/2023 08:40

But presumably with your ex you were late teens/early 20s?

I don't believe you were surprised that most adults doesn't have sex multiple times a day at weekends. Who has the Time?

0rch · 29/10/2023 08:42

We have sex all day every day

DungareesAndTrombones · 29/10/2023 08:43

I think you are chatting bare shit 😂 Who does it when in labour?! Cop on.

We do it when I can be arsed which is sometimes 3 times a month and sometimes 0 times a month.

DungareesAndTrombones · 29/10/2023 08:44

Also if I did it 4 times a day my fanny would get revenge by giving me thrush and a UTI.

babyproblems · 29/10/2023 08:45

Aramist · 28/10/2023 23:31

Once or twice a month.

I enjoy sex in the moment but I have to get in the mood, and most of the time I can't really be arsed and would rather go to sleep.

This is probably me aswell.
Every day with a baby Is a lot!!! How do you have the time?!? No way in hell was I interested in sex 5mo after baby. Even without kids I wouldn’t have time for everyday let alone multiple times a day. Enjoy though 😅

mycatsanutter · 29/10/2023 08:46

We go through stages can go a week of going to bed and just being too tired to 3-5 times the next week.

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