Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tongue Erection?! Has anyone else experienced this bizarreness!

188 replies

Surelythiscannotbeathing · 03/10/2023 10:46

Had a date. It was ok. Was a bit unsure whether to give it a second date. but he asked for a snog at the end, so I did, never know, that might have clinched the second date deal.

And, I kid you not, we kissed a bit then he pulled away and waited there with his tongue stuck out full length rigid from his lips. Just sticking out there, hard and stiff, like a tongue erection. I have no idea why or what he expected me to do??! Then he kissed me again for a bit, then pulled away and did the whole weird tongue erection thing again. Just hanging out there, like a stiff board. Why???

At this point dear reader, I made my excuses and left, never to see him again.

I have never experienced anything like it. It was a really big fat tongue too. Gross.

Has anyone else have a guy do this?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Olika · 03/10/2023 11:28

P.S. don't Google Tongue Erection 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

pontipinemum · 03/10/2023 11:28

😂😂that does not sound one bit enjoyable. Do you think he did it on purpose or some sort of involuntary reaction?

Doyoureallyhavetoask · 03/10/2023 11:29

Sometimes I learn things on Mumsnet that I wish I hadn't.

This is one of those times.

CherryBlossoms88 · 03/10/2023 11:30

Olika · 03/10/2023 11:28

P.S. don't Google Tongue Erection 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

I googled it…. Luckily I had my safesearch filter on 🤣🤣🤣

2anddone · 03/10/2023 11:31

Trying so hard not to laugh as finally got the toddler to sleep....please tell me I am not the only one reading this while sticking out their tongue to help visualise what it looks like 🤣🤣

User23452 · 03/10/2023 11:32

@Surelythiscannotbeathing 😂 am stuck on very boring work calls here, whilst poking out ny tongue to imagine the full unalluring weirdness.

MNetcurtains · 03/10/2023 11:33

It's a thing, but not in a sexual way:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tongue%20Erection

When I entered tongue erection, I got a drop down: "tongue erectile disfunction". Followed thru, but ultimately disappointed.

Urban Dictionary: Tongue Erection

The tingling sensation you get in anticipation before eating something sour (generally associated with sour candy).

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tongue+Erection

AutumnFroglets · 03/10/2023 11:34

Iamnotastick · 03/10/2023 11:05

I just want you to know that I just did this sitting at my desk, and now I am going to die of shame. Do people now think I have a tongue boner?!

Show quote history

How many people came running over, looking excited?

It sounds awful OP, but at least you didn't take him home. Can you imagine what other weirdness he would do shudders

MoonShinesBright · 03/10/2023 11:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MoonShinesBright · 03/10/2023 11:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WalnutBlue · 03/10/2023 11:39

Surelythiscannotbeathing · 03/10/2023 11:03

Stick your tongue out of your mouth as far as it will go. Don't let it flop down but make it stick out hard and stiff. Have your lips closed, not open.

He did that. Just hung there like that. Looking at me. Like that.

Show quote history

😂

Redskyatwhatever · 03/10/2023 11:39

There is a time and a place, could he save it for “ sexy time” all that tongue exercising could build up tongue stamina for when it counts!

LookingForPurpose · 03/10/2023 11:43

Could he have had some sort of tongue cramp?!

Trinity65 · 03/10/2023 11:44

Iamnotastick · 03/10/2023 11:05

I just want you to know that I just did this sitting at my desk, and now I am going to die of shame. Do people now think I have a tongue boner?!

Show quote history

😆😆

LeavesOnTrees · 03/10/2023 11:48

Could you ask him about it ?

I know you never want to see him again, but think of it as doing in the field research for all us naive mumsnetters.

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 03/10/2023 11:50

I feel ill on your behalf. I'm amazed you let him anywhere near you after the "come here finger". I'm even more amazed you let him in for an attempt at snog two after tongue erection #1!

How did you not say anything?! 😳

"Erm, why've you got your tongue out?"

DivingForLove · 03/10/2023 11:52

I have a ludicrously long tongue - if I did that to someone I’d be seriously challenging their gag reflex 😬😳😂

Justcallmebebes · 03/10/2023 11:56

LubaLuca · 03/10/2023 10:50

I think it was definitely more likely to have been caused by nerves than arousal. Poor guy must have been embarrassed. Did you say anything about it, or just silently wait?

Just silently wait!! That made me laugh. Grin

Tinysoxxx · 03/10/2023 11:57

I wonder if there’s women on public transport and by the desks around the country now spotting the the pointy tongues of others also having a peak at mumsnet?

Maybe we can reclaim the tongue posturing!?

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 03/10/2023 12:01

Don't know about anyone else but I am lapping this up.

Passepartoute · 03/10/2023 12:01

I think I'd have had to ask him WTF he thought he was doing. And if he told me he wanted me to give him a tongue blow job he would have been told to dream on and shown where the door was.

HouseHassle · 03/10/2023 12:01

Surelythiscannotbeathing · 03/10/2023 11:27

Personally I'd not be able to get past the "he asked for a snog", never mind the resultant glossal hard on

Oh my God, you've just reminded me! He actually asked by doing this little 'come here' gesture with his fingers. I think he actually said ' come here.'

I'd actually forgotten that! The tongue thing wiped it out!

Come here, pucker up love

Tongue Erection?! Has anyone else experienced this bizarreness!
Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 03/10/2023 12:02

Surelythiscannotbeathing · 03/10/2023 11:16

That made me laugh out loud. I now have images of men walking around the city centres with their tongue erections, hoping some random woman walking by latches on.

You know, like those whales that have little fish permanently attached to them and floating along with them.

Show quote history

😂

Mountaineer0009 · 03/10/2023 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PennyPinkPineapple · 03/10/2023 12:02

I've had some really weird dates, but what?! And he definitely wasn't having some sort of medical episode?

Did you ask him what he was doing or were you too busy trying not to laugh? 😂