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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found a phone in car

269 replies

durems · 25/07/2023 11:20

Would you be suspicious if a phone pinged in the glove compartment of your DH's car and it turned out to belong to a woman you don't know?

OP posts:
durems · 27/07/2023 09:25

Thought I should update all those who took the effort to help. Basically, the phone belonged to someone from his hobby group. I know who it is by sight but I don't know her.

When I asked him about it his first reaction was to tut and say 'dopey' or 'dozey' woman (about her). So I guess he didn't know it had been put in the glove compartment but that he knew immediately whose it was because she had been in the car.

It is her second phone apparently which is why she hadn't missed it. I'm still not really sure why she was in the car, I assume he had given her a lift.

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 27/07/2023 09:30

durems · 27/07/2023 09:25

Thought I should update all those who took the effort to help. Basically, the phone belonged to someone from his hobby group. I know who it is by sight but I don't know her.

When I asked him about it his first reaction was to tut and say 'dopey' or 'dozey' woman (about her). So I guess he didn't know it had been put in the glove compartment but that he knew immediately whose it was because she had been in the car.

It is her second phone apparently which is why she hadn't missed it. I'm still not really sure why she was in the car, I assume he had given her a lift.

Seems strange to me. Why was she in his car? And why did he not know it had been put there? Also how does he know it’s her second phone?? I’m guessing she put it there on purpose! I mean why on earth would you leave your phone in someone’s glove compartment? If he’s having an affair op then he knows you are into him now and will cover his tracks even more.

watcherintherye · 27/07/2023 09:32

Several questions spring to mind…
Why would she, unbeknown to him, put her phone in the glove compartment during a lift home (presumably not hours away)? Is it a Lycra-clad hobby with no pockets or bag available, maybe?
Why would he know the detail about how many phones she has?

watcherintherye · 27/07/2023 09:33

Oops - X post!

durems · 27/07/2023 09:47

His reaction seemed genuine but it does seem odd that he didn't know it was there. It's a once a week hobby and it has put me on edge now.

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 27/07/2023 09:56

durems · 27/07/2023 09:47

His reaction seemed genuine but it does seem odd that he didn't know it was there. It's a once a week hobby and it has put me on edge now.

I used to be with a guy who cheated on me and he also seemed so genuine when he was questioned. Some people are just good at lying and playing it cool and keeping calm.

Whilst I get he may not know she put it in the glove compartment, surely he must have known how it got in his car in the first place. Did he not give a reason why it was there or say he’d given her a lift or anything?

I do get the feeling the phone may have been left there on purpose. It’s a second phone that she did not miss. What a coincidence that a second phone that she isn’t bothered about ended up in your husband’s glove compartment. Also I wonder if she knew that you were going to be in his car at a certain time for the reminder to go off. Also as it is a medical reminder surely that would need to be on her main phone and not on a second phone that she isn’t going to miss.

Of course, there may be a reasonable explanation but nothing seems to add up at the moment.

billyt · 27/07/2023 09:57

So he gives a woman a lift. Who for some reason has a second phone and leaves it in his glove box. She doesn't realise she's left it. And then an alert about a medical appointment pings, which means it's the number she gave for contact. Which would usually be your main phone (if you did for some reason use two)

Bollocks.

Mix56 · 27/07/2023 09:59

I wouldnt accept that excuse. Its a big classic to "diss" the OW to the wife to put her off scent

LuluBlakey1 · 27/07/2023 10:00

My gut reaction is he's lying. Thinking of my DH (I know different people react differently), I'd have expected.
'Let's have a look?'
'Where was it exactly?'
'The only person who's been in the car was x when I dropped her off after badminton/running/whatever- no idea if it's hers or why she'd put it in the glove compartment.'

Very odd to recognise it as 'her second phone'. I wouldn't know if anyone I know has a second phone, never mind recognise it.

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2023 10:05

billyt · 27/07/2023 09:57

So he gives a woman a lift. Who for some reason has a second phone and leaves it in his glove box. She doesn't realise she's left it. And then an alert about a medical appointment pings, which means it's the number she gave for contact. Which would usually be your main phone (if you did for some reason use two)

Bollocks.

Absolutely! Why would she put it in the glovebox and how on earth does he know it's her second phone?
Is it a sport where you don't have pockets, or you can't carry a bag?

durems · 27/07/2023 10:06

To those who said before she might have put it there because she knew I would be in the car, I ignored that point the other day, thinking there's no way she could have known I would be in the car. But I forgot to consider that he might have told her at the hobby where we were going the following day/evening and she might have thought that I would be in the car at a certain time.
Surely nobody's that quick witted and sly to think that they'll put a phone in a car to cause trouble because they know the wife will be in it?!

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 27/07/2023 10:08

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2023 10:05

Absolutely! Why would she put it in the glovebox and how on earth does he know it's her second phone?
Is it a sport where you don't have pockets, or you can't carry a bag?

Even if it was, why would she take her phone if she had nowhere to put it. Where would she leave it during the hobby activity. Also why not just keep hold of it in her hand. I wouldn’t dream of opening someone’s glovebox and putting my phone in there.

durems · 27/07/2023 10:08

Mix56 · 27/07/2023 09:59

I wouldnt accept that excuse. Its a big classic to "diss" the OW to the wife to put her off scent

I never thought of that.

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 27/07/2023 10:10

durems · 27/07/2023 10:06

To those who said before she might have put it there because she knew I would be in the car, I ignored that point the other day, thinking there's no way she could have known I would be in the car. But I forgot to consider that he might have told her at the hobby where we were going the following day/evening and she might have thought that I would be in the car at a certain time.
Surely nobody's that quick witted and sly to think that they'll put a phone in a car to cause trouble because they know the wife will be in it?!

They might be if they want to be found out or to cause some sort of trouble. A little bit like “let’s let wifey know I’m around and been shagging your husband” sort of thing. It’s common apparently for an affair partner to leave things in the car/ house of the husband because they WANT the affair to be found out, most likely to break up the marriage or cause drama in some way

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2023 10:11

Even if it was, why would she take her phone if she had nowhere to put it. Where would she leave it during the hobby activity. Also why not just keep hold of it in her hand. I wouldn’t dream of opening someone’s glovebox and putting my phone in there.*

Well quite! I certainly wouldn't open someone's glovebox without at least asking them first!
I don't believe his explanation but who knows?!

Wouldyouguess · 27/07/2023 10:12

Your update points more to something more than not. If I left my phone in, no matter if its second third or fourth phone, Id be looking for it, she didn't which means she left the phone in the car on purpose and didn't want your husband to look for it, and wanted you to find it. Why, if not for you to discover something is going on?
Ofc he is not gonna say anything and will make it seem it's all innocent.

littlebopeepp234 · 27/07/2023 10:14

The problem is, now that op has asked him about it, he will try and cover his tracks and think of lots of excuses etc.

Makes me wonder if he is actually attending this hobby at all and not just meeting up with her or going to her house and telling op he’s at the hobby

TheCatterall · 27/07/2023 10:20

@durems aay someone you know via a hobby gives you a lift as a one off or repeatedly.

You have a phone in your hand. In what world would you decide - handbag present or not - to open a glove box of someone’s car and out it in there?! You’d just hold it surely?

When I’m driving - if someone opened the glove box I’d know. I’d hear it. I’d see it in my peripheral vision. I’d be thinking wtf are you doing…

sorry @durems but this sounds really weird.

CountTo10 · 27/07/2023 10:36

Must admit it being in the glove box is odd. I would never go into someone's glove box unless asked to. It's like going through someone's drawers in their house? Why would any passenger put their phone in someone else's glove compartment? If she got in the car with it surely it'd be in her bag or pocket and if it's a second phone (why?..) why would she even get it out?

It would have made much more sense if he said he'd found it on the floor and HE'D put it in the glove compartment for safe keeping having told her he'd got it.

Luucylu · 27/07/2023 10:36

Was it in the glove compartment or in the side of the door? Side of the door a plausible mistake. Glove compartment odd.

Luucylu · 27/07/2023 10:37

Also, what’s the hobby? Is there a good reason for him to give her a lift?

NoraButty · 27/07/2023 10:41

I don’t buy his excuse either. A passenger uses the glove box when they’re getting settled in, not for a lift home.

Id be suspicious that her second phone is how her and your husband communicate and that she popped it on the glove box for safe keeping whilst they clambered about.

The alert for the contraceptive, if that was what the alert was, would make sense being on her second phone if she’s in a sexless marriage.

I hope I’m wrong OP.

SaturdayGiraffe · 27/07/2023 10:56

Weird, but maybe she wanted to track him with the phone?

hev126 · 27/07/2023 11:51

I can't imagine getting a lift from an acquaintance/casual friend and feeling comfortable about to sit back, open the glove box and put my phone in it.

If your DP genuinely didn't know it was there then she must've done it when he wasn't t in the car as you'd notice someone doing that.

Also, how does he know she has 2 phones and that this is the 2nd one? I'm not buying any of it tbh

CockSpadget · 27/07/2023 12:19

How does he know it’s her second phone? Is he that familiar with them that he knows the difference? Sounds like he knows far too much about her phones for someone who just attends a hobby group he is in.