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Original poster

Did DH cheat or is this a joke?

511 replies

Newuser1987 · 05/11/2022 16:05

Got a DM on Instagram this morning. Private account but definitely not a fake one.

From a young woman claiming she has slept with my husband a few weeks ago and thought I deserved to know.

She knows details about a birth Mark on his chest and a tattoo on his ankle. But DH wears shorts a lot so lots would have seen the ankle tattoo. He does talk about his birth Mark as well so a lot of people know he has one. So I'm hoping that this is just someone stirring but wanted to post on here to get clarity and that I'm not just trying to comfort myself.

A few months ago he had a string of mysterious phone calls which led to a huge row as he wouldn't answer the phone to the mysterious person then started saying i was getting worked up over nothing. Nothing since then tho so other than that I have no reason to believe he has cheated.

I Will confront him but it's just his word against this random person on Instagram right? I'm calm thinking it's just someone stirring. But what if it's not? How would you feel?

Can't exactly break up over one set of messages from a random woman. We have 3 kids together.

OP posts:
Marmitemother · 08/11/2022 07:25

@Newuser1987 just hoping you are ok. Flowers

ShabbyRobedNun · 08/11/2022 12:14

supercali77 · 08/11/2022 06:54

Posters finding it suss that she isn't sending screenshot or deleting messages. It is not suss, its self protection. I found out someone I had a thing with was in a LTR. I immediately told her. I sent proof. She then took that to him, he then began a campaign of harassment. he was seeing more women than just me, so the screenshots clarified it was me who spilled it. Then, he posted my intimate photos on a porn site with my phone number. It was a living hell with police involvement and his DP told me that maybe I shouldn't go round trying to break people up!

As an unwitting OW when you tell the DW you find that firstly as OP has done, they often turn on you, then they tell the DH exactly who you are and what you said. And then most times, between them they make your life shit.

Im not surprised shes started deleting if you've been rude. The woman tried to do you a favour and what she got was earache. It was the first sign that you're going to believe him and then between the 2 of you, you'll make out shes a psycho.

Done her a favour by telling her? That's rich considering she had an affair with a married man!.

JennyNotFromTheBlock · 08/11/2022 12:18

ShabbyRobedNun · 08/11/2022 12:14

Done her a favour by telling her? That's rich considering she had an affair with a married man!.

Show quote history

As many have said, she probably didn't even know he was married, and contacted OP when she found out, so most likely didn't knowingly have an affair with a married man.

ShabbyRobedNun · 08/11/2022 12:24

JennyNotFromTheBlock · 08/11/2022 12:18

As many have said, she probably didn't even know he was married, and contacted OP when she found out, so most likely didn't knowingly have an affair with a married man.

Show quote history

Your right, I just assume with them previously working together she would know that. God if it's anything like my workplace it's the first thing the female's ask the blokes.

WaddleAway · 08/11/2022 12:28

ShabbyRobedNun · 08/11/2022 12:24

Your right, I just assume with them previously working together she would know that. God if it's anything like my workplace it's the first thing the female's ask the blokes.

Show quote history

Ive never worked anywhere where women openly ask men if they’re married upon meeting them 😮, that’s pretty poor manners. Obviously it’s the sort of thing that usually gets brought up in conversation with colleagues at some point, but an outright ‘are you married’ when first meeting?

JennyNotFromTheBlock · 08/11/2022 12:38

WaddleAway · 08/11/2022 12:28

Ive never worked anywhere where women openly ask men if they’re married upon meeting them 😮, that’s pretty poor manners. Obviously it’s the sort of thing that usually gets brought up in conversation with colleagues at some point, but an outright ‘are you married’ when first meeting?

Show quote history

Yeah, that's not at all common. I've been at my workplace a long time and still don't know the marital status of half the men here.

parlourb · 08/11/2022 13:13

Did you DH cheat or is this a joke ? To answer the thread title , your husband has cheated. Pretty unfunny if it was meant to be a joke and his reaction says it all. Don’t sweep it under the rug he will just continue cheating and lying and gas lighting.

Cactusprick · 18/11/2022 22:55

Newuser1987 · 05/11/2022 16:05

Got a DM on Instagram this morning. Private account but definitely not a fake one.

From a young woman claiming she has slept with my husband a few weeks ago and thought I deserved to know.

She knows details about a birth Mark on his chest and a tattoo on his ankle. But DH wears shorts a lot so lots would have seen the ankle tattoo. He does talk about his birth Mark as well so a lot of people know he has one. So I'm hoping that this is just someone stirring but wanted to post on here to get clarity and that I'm not just trying to comfort myself.

A few months ago he had a string of mysterious phone calls which led to a huge row as he wouldn't answer the phone to the mysterious person then started saying i was getting worked up over nothing. Nothing since then tho so other than that I have no reason to believe he has cheated.

I Will confront him but it's just his word against this random person on Instagram right? I'm calm thinking it's just someone stirring. But what if it's not? How would you feel?

Can't exactly break up over one set of messages from a random woman. We have 3 kids together.

Hope you are okay OP. Did you ever get to the bottom of this?

savethatkitty · 18/03/2023 23:58

Can you ever really trust him or will there always be a niggling doubt? Or, you turn a blind eye, don't ask, don't tell.

rainbowstardrops · 19/03/2023 06:46

Did you ever find out anything more @Newuser1987?

BorisJohnsonsHair · 19/03/2023 19:32

I've been thinking about this occasionally since then too.

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