Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

JangolinaPitt

this threads always been (interestingly ) heavier
on the asd side

my son was disganosed last year . To begin with you could have knocked me over with a feather 🪶
then I went on a fairly deep dive learning process . And it was eye opening

Im on a Facebook page for women and girls
with autism and their posts help me understand my DC loads better

as for how this plays into relationships and dating

like attracts like that’s all I can say !

i think as with gender , neurodiversity is having a time when people can more fully embrace and understand their differences

god knows how this will all pan out

MrFootball texted saying he wanted to kiss me and had a word with himself in the car afterwards about not doing it 😆

my situation is awkward with that I have my DC 99% of the time apart from Saturday afternoons when my exMIL has them for a bit so we’re limited to waiting until next Sat to see each other again. Could maybe work in them going overnight on a Saturday.

when would you say it’s ok to have him over in the evening once the DC are in bed? No funny business just takeaway and a movie. That would make things easier but I’m wary of blurring those lines too quickly

OLDstolemybrain

how old are your DC ?

I think that's what I'm wondering, how quick in the old world. I feel completely out of it. Not sure I felt a spark or anything at all... 🤔 Mr outdoors was definitely keen (I suppose that's a good thing, unless he's just keen in anything female!)
It's like a whole different world. I will be reading and learning from you all!

I think it depends how old they are, how likely they are to wake etc?

Mila14

Trudging along ! But no major dramas this week in my World
i love thanksgiving week as gets all the Americans off my back at work 😬

DC are 6 & 4, bedtime all done and dusted by 7.30 and usually never wake up once in bed. They go to sleep very easily and any wake up is usually middle of the night for a wee.

There’s no way I would want a situation where he is meeting them and he’s ok with that.

OLDstolemybrain

in that case I would
really , you deserve pleasure and presumably are intelligent enough to vet people
now mine are both SS age i either leave them or get a sitter in

@Thisisworsethananticpated could I get the name of that Fbook group please I don't really use social media so wouldn't know how to search for it

@OLDstolemybrain that is a really tricky position and I'm inclined to say that unless you can get a babysitter (day or night) dating is going to be very challenging.
I'd recommend you don't let any new fella even know where you live until some time in so even the chaste movie and takeaway (sounds quite close to Netflix and chill tbh) shouldn't really be on home turf for several dates but to do when there's small kids involved is quite risky (eg if he turns out to be stalky nutter if you bin him off in the future).
I'm only giving you wisdoms I've learnt along the way.

My own rule for length of time dating a fella and him meeting my kids (nearly 15 and nearly 20 so I've been able to leave them home alone with the eldest in charge of the youngest for my entire 4 year OLD adventures)
is 6 months.

Yesterday MrCars met me in my hometown for brunch but I declined his offer of a lift home so he wouldn't see where I lived.

I'd strongly advise getting a regular babysitter in (local A level student maybe?) to facilitate your dating while your kids are so teeny.

Nice new that MrFootball was kicking himself for not kissing you. It is a nerve wracking moment and if the man is taller it's kind of down to them to kiss us as we can't reach up easily and tongue the tall guys down!

Thanks @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss & @Thisisworsethananticpated for your advice - I’m in completely uncharted territory here 🤣

I wouldn’t consider it for several dates (weeks??) time. My exMIL is an angel and would have them more often if I needed and my Mum is the same so maybe an evening out while they babysit. I’m so used to doing everything on my own that I think I need to ask for these things more.

The kissing was very tricky with him being 6’ 4 and me 5’0 🤣 I did tell him I wanted to but couldn’t reach!

Perfect! @OLDstolemybrain get the nannas facilitating some dedicating romancing time you are very much entitled to it.
Maybe go to his in a few dates time to assess the physical compatibility if the next few dates are as fabulous as the first.
6'4" is a marvellous height.

@OLDstolemybrain that all sounds fabulous.

Small update.
Vet
Vet
Vet

MrA is now blocked. Not going into details on here but Google was my friend. Thank god.

This is incredibly important advice. Wise words and a valuable reminder to be careful. Thank you x

Oh goodness. Thank goodness. Hope you're ok x

My tall, dark and handsome boxer has moved to regular messaging mode and is now sending me photos of his roast dinner, haha!

In the words of beloved Swifty - I can make the bad guys good for the weekend!

@5thWisdom was very shaken but thankfully I found out so early.

Do you think it's worth reporting him on the App you used? Just to alert them?

I'm not sure.

It's something in his background, rather than on the App. I've blocked him on everything but if he raises his head again I definitely will.

I agree with this, but it does go the other way as well, the women I’m seeing wanted go physical quite quickly

Just caught up with the updates - some good dates happening which is good to read. @Definitelycross glad you managed to dodge a bullet with your detective work and hope you're not too shook up.

Nothing happening for me on OLD but then pickings are slim when I have distance down to within 5 miles 😄

Went out last night and spent the evening flirting outrageously just for the fun of it. My fave was an attractive 32 year old who I got chatting to in a queue as Iet him share my umbrella. He surprised me by then paying my entrance fee, bought me a drink during the evening and also did a cheeky kiss when passing in the club 😄 made me laugh. In fact I enjoyed letting my hair down and having a fun flirty night with no expectations of anything coming of it.

That sounds like a perfect evening- that's just what I need

This thread moves so fast.
So Mr Nurse, my favourite potential messaged me today after a couple of days absence - I assumed that he had moved on, but he has just had a busy weekend with son and family birthday. We are going to arrange a meet up this week.
Date from yesterday where there was no spork, messaged me and asked to see me again - I politely declined.

Have had a purge on the apps, and unmatched all the ones that I have briefly spoken to and have heard nothing from for 72 hours - a bit ruthless, but if they were genuinely interested then they would have been more interested.
Have a couple more potentials this morning - shall we say MrParamedic, and Mr Services - I seem to be drawn to medics as I too am am in this professional group.
@Definitelycross sounds like your gut instinct and subsequent detective skills were spot on. Hope that this doesn't deter you from dating.

*spark not spork!

Slothmomma

thats so fun ! Sometimes that is all you need sometimes . You go !

NoDatingForOldMen

i think you have definately attracted a spate of sexual women ! And that’s actually - not an unlucky thing 😂

there’s another thread going and it’s somewhat eye opening about attitudes towards BJ

ill leave it there

but I thought everyone was horny and sexual

I was wrong 😑