Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Oh my god

Now
Him - how are you babe?
Me - seriously?
Him - why babe?

Before anyone says block I'm not going to as I want to see how this goes. I need some popcorn 🍿

😂😂😂😂 who’s this one Deffy? I’m lost…but he sounds interested…

Even if he were planning to buy, the housing market has been a shitshow lately. I wouldn’t blame anyone who was cautious. But in general it would judge anyone willingly living at home as less adult than I would like. I specifically wanted someone who could demonstrate that they didn’t need parenting. Not just say it.

@Mila14 he was an original iron. We enjoyed each other from a distance you could say 😳😂

We then talked about meeting. Ghosted for two weeks - he was ill. I didn't contact him either.

He returned then last weekend we discussed meeting up again. He even suggested the next day. We live three hours apart but would meet half way.

Nothing more from him. Again I didn't contact him but blocked him on Match as I could see he was on there but not WhatsApping.

Now he's back, again.
It's so annoying because he's really good if you know what I mean but infuriating. I told him that last weekend in no uncertain terms and yet he did it again

It’s SO common. I have to get four pieces of identifying information out of four year olds on a daily basis. One of them is what their (usually) mum’s name is. They ALL say mummy. So I ask what daddy calls mummy and get ‘babe’ all the time.

@Eeksteek 😂😂😂

Yeah, fully divorced. Ex already living with another guy and his kids. Banking, I think. Kids with him four nights a week and some of each school day. He’s definitely primary parent. I liked that. It meant he got my challenges as 100 percent parent (which is sometimes that you really have nothing left) But it certainly limits availability. Oh well. I’ll see how I feel in a week or two about leaving the door open, but I’m not optimistic.

Eeky…I like this guy. He has a really stressing job and he gets his kids 50%…he’s definitely super busy. Respect. But why is he not fixing sexy time with you when he doesn’t have his kids? Everyone needs to have dinner…it makes no sense you can’t have sexy time if you fancy each other

I did, too. And even though I think his ex
shafted him, he’s respectful about her and has a good co parenting relationship. He is not your average dad (although he says he’s just doing his best) and I think work really has exploded. He was working 7am to midnight all last weekend. Of course he hasn’t got time. Which is why I think waiting a bit might be acceptable. He can also be a bit blunt over text which he isn’t at all in person. And ANY flirting over text had him shut down. In person, he laughed it off. I just don’t think he was ready for it. And he said he wanted to take things slowly and see. He is pretty damn emotionally intelligent, which is like rocking horse shit in men. If it is just work, he’s worth waiting for. If it isn’t, well, time will tell. I waited nine years to start dating. I can wait a bit longer and see how this actually pans out. I mean, what’s the worst than can happen?

😮😮😮😮😮

I'm being messaged by a very hot 6ft 3, 31 year old.

If I didn't have a child weekend, I'd be there like a shot to be quite honest. He lives hours away but is visiting family. He's only after one thing but it's entertaining on a miserable, wet November afternoon.

Tinderella wants to meet but I'm now distracted and feeling meh about the housing sitch.

What a pain.

The bloke who's messaging me is only after one thing too. The problem is I enjoy him grrrr

Yeah Tinderella is looking less good.

I can't believe how busy the sites are at the weekend it's mental

This is spot on!
I'm new to this thread after divorcing a cheater, 35 years married and 37 total.

I'm still reading through the thread to get to know you all before I join in if that's ok .
I've got the hang of it now but I did have to jump in at the deep end to get rid of that '37 years a virgin' feeling as I was a monogamous wife.
But it is complicated!

Welcome @fc123

I like the sound of this guy too @Eeksteek It's rare to find someone that gets the 100% parenting thing. I also have my kids all the time and it's a whole different world. Mine are 13 and 12 now but I pretty much waited eight years to attempt dating. I was hoping it might be a little easier to find someone 😬

Deffy and @5thWisdom …amazing that dating sites are so busy…Christmas coming soon and a difficult time for a lot of people.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying a hot date…I think the key is knowing whether you want a partner or just a ONS.
I’m missing out on the OLD surge 😂😂 but I’m happy to just see MrEx although I will go for a coffee with MrIntense who’s an all round good egg and we enjoy talking. He’s been friendzoned though.
Welcome @fc123 …mothership looking forward to hearing from you and your journey in OLD. Lots of good advise and nice people here

Eeky…the guy is a gem but the question remains…does he fancy you and wants to get you naked or not? It’s this friendzone territory from him?

Hang in there…lots of new people looking partners exactly like you… I think a lot of you girls are going to get lucky this Christmas 🎄🎄🎄❤️

Oh no, he's asking for nudes. Akkk. He's not getting any.

Ohmygod my one - let's call him MrShag wanted nudes. I didn't but he sent me one of his whole body. That is the image that makes it so difficult to tell him to eff off.

Soooooooo many updates!

Oh bloody hell @Eeksteek i think I can just imagine how you might have felt when the STOP text came back from 2Pugs. Must have been horrible moment. I'm so sorry.
I've had a shockingly busy time at work and felt like any additional minor demand might be the thing to break me. Perhaps he's not just busy but very very stressed and worried about some highly important critical stuff that needs sorting to a deadline that's already passed. It's not the sort of stuff that has you thinking of romance and making time for flirting. It's the opposite. Firing on all cylinders, racing to get water and have a wee then back to it.

4th rendez with MrCars went well/ok at lunchtime

He'd bought me a thoughtful gift - really great funny modern poetry little book (Brian Bilston)

I braved telling him that something he'd said at the end of our long call last night made me think he was being mildly judgey and patronising (whilst on his 4th beer) and he appreciated being called out for being a 'glib twat' (his words) which made me laugh.

Watched the first half of Pride and Prejudice with my eldest last night who was telling me she thinks Mr Darcy is both autistic and scrummy. It made me realise I think MrCars might too.

Block away…pig

Seriously…I cannot understand why anyone would send that ….for me it would have been instant block

Well my date happened, but sadly there was absolutely no spark whatsoever - he has been on the dating apps since 2018 - can kind of can see why if I am honest. Onwards and upwards...

Oncey, your kid is amazing…I think Mr Intense is in the spectrum too but I am only interested in friendship with him. My ex husband too… I am lucky Mr Ex is the opposite but it’s all on the degrees. My ex husband had a huge lack of self awareness and empathy. I can’t go through a partner like that again I think.
Has MrCars had a long relationship with anyone? How come he never married and he had no kids? In our ages it’s unusual…

Ohhh…what happened? You didn’t fancy him at all?