Online dating - absolutely fucking grim!

[SwissRole123]

It's vile isn't it? I've quit it now as it's not suitable to my personality but fuck me...

1. 90% of them are absolute rotters who send messages starting with "hey sexy..."

1. The vast majority are instagram slaves who's profile pictures are hanging off a cliff in South East Asia, jumping out of some random plane or posing with a tiger. Personally I'm happy with a bowl of pasta down the local, a few beers and a game of darts.

1. The ones who are apparently looking for a relationship but don't bother messaging you or will fizzle out after a "hello how are you"

1. Quite a few are "regulars" I've seen before with a different name to the one I've seen on a different app... 💍? These are usually the ones who say they're about to delete their profile for technical reasons. Poor cow whoever she is

1. Then there's the "rule" that even on the slight off chance you click with someone you'll have to pretty much accept they're still dating other women until they decide who they want the most. It's all a bit Pick Me 🚫😳

1. The ones who are up to their eyes in kids with the old "my kids are my world and if you don't like it you can fuck off" okay mate but maybe DON'T actually post pictures of your children on a dating site and google safeguarding

1. The six pack selfies. Just stop ✋️

1. I never knew how many people were called Simon.

1. The sleazebags. One guy was literally posing with his coat pulled open with both hands wearing a t-shirt saying "show me your twat"... another declared all the women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens 🖊 🖊

10. The group photo... where he never turns out to be the fit one 🙈

I have to laugh. I actually know quite a few decent people who met online but they were all years ago so perhaps it's all changed since covid I'm not sure. But if any of you single MNers can add to the list, feel free! I'd love to hear more!

Also there's lots of men right now describing themselves as 'vikings' which seems to mainly be having a scraggly beard? Now I like the sound of a viking but a 50 year old scruffy looking man with a thin, grey wispy beard is not my idea of one!

As some pp have said, there seems to be much more effort required these days to get any sort of conversation going. I just won't bother if they don't ask me anything about me.

So I get nowhere. I must swipe right in less than 1% and then chances of matching and getting a conversation...slim.

Sigh. I'm only 48. I hope I'll meet someone one day. I've been alone. I've been fine. I don't need someone. I don't want to remarry. It would just be nice to have my person.

😂😂 it really is awful. I was on it for about 5 years but now finally settled down with a decent partner thank God.

There were the ones who’s profile pic is a car or all the photos are group photos and he’s always the worst looking one…

Never liked it either when ones put pics of their kids on their profile, fair enough say you have children but Don’t think it’s appropriate sharing their faces on an adult dating app, lots of weirdos out there…

The ones who would just say ‘Hey’ and expect me to carry the conversation and then get arsey with me for not replying to their one word boring responses.

The ones who kept trying to bring the conversation round to sex.

Ones who instantly wanted you to add them on Snapchat (basically so they could demand nude pics - boke).

🙄

One of my first OLDs was a bloke I met at the train station. His first words on meeting were "I need the toilet, I had a chippy meal on the way and it's gone right through me" and off he dashed.

Another one seemed OK until we actually met up and he pulled a pair of pink frilly undies out of his pocket and asked me to wear them.

Another was a liar who's been on POF since at least 2015 and still isn't making an effort with his bio or profile pics. He looks like a scruffy psychopath.

I'd really like to know what heterosexual men view as the comparable cliches in women's profiles! What is our "fish"? I gather puppy filters are our "mirrored sunglasses and beanie hat".

For me, it's some women's photos being filtered almost to the point of being CGI.

And other profiles reeling off a list of what they don't want in a man (I do understand), but still it doesn't create a positive first impression.

I dip in and out - everyone I know who became single in the last 5 years met their partners on there...so it must work!

The last conversation I had with a match moved to WhatsApp, and he immediately asked me for nudes, when I said no he called me dull!

Im not hopeful it's going to work for me 🙃

I’m also put off by men wearing skin-tight jeans - some lads in their twenties in decent shape can just about get away with it, but not most men in their forties.

Online dating is an absolute cesspit, but my experience tells me that for every 10 or 15 dead fish/gym selfie type arseholes (or ENM hopefuls) there’s one that’s actually decent. I’ve been on plenty of dates with decent men and finally found myself a really good one that I hope to stick with…so it is possible! Don’t give up!

Oh yes I feel your pain! I can add to your list

11 The ones who ghost you because they found greener grass but then months down the line are still using the dating app because it turned out they weren’t greener grass after all! Serves them right!

12 The ones who claim they’re single but aren’t

13 The ones who always have some sob story about how they’ve met a few women on there who were absolutely crazy

14 The ones who have met women from the site who look nothing like their pictures. That’s because in real life they can’t walk about with a filter on your face and bunny ears with a cat’s nose! Is that really what they thought they date would look like when they turn up? I refer back to point 11 where they ghost you because they literally think they’ve found someone better than you who actually really has over edited beauty with flawless/ blurred out skin and bambi eyes in real life! Really! LOL

15 The stalkers who you reject after you’ve been chatting for a while and you decide you’re not really compatible but then from the little tiny bit of info you did give them they google your details and search you on social media and contact you there!!

They're all HGV drivers...literally!
I agree that their mates are fitter!
So many just have a photo of a tree...(especially Facebook dating).
Certain make a new profile on Bumble weekly.
Photos of surfing, skiiing, mountain climbing etc...I want someone who does normal things!
Wearing shades!
So many more.

I've been on 3 sites for 2yrs and haven't matched with anyone who I'd even consider meeting. It's soul destroying.
Things that are red flags for me:
Every picture showing them wearing sunglasses.
Loads of pictures from when they were younger and had hair.
Pictures in toilets/bathrooms
Pictures of them on the bed topless.
Pictures of them posing and sweaty in the gym
Loads of holiday scenery pictures
Mentions of: partners in crime, not taking life too seriously, drama free, being cheeky, being a bit naughty, being definitely not vanilla, my wife has allowed me to come on here!
I get lots of messages which just say "Hi" or "Hello gorgeous" or "What you up to?" Seriously if you can't make an effort to at least write a decent opening message then I'm not going to even respond.
I'm losing the will now.
Coming off Match now. :(

Something that’s always perplexed me on Tinder is bio pics that are of a ceiling or a floor. I’m guessing that these are married men? Anyone else seen these?

🤔this is proving to be interesting and yet completely confusing at the same time.

Except for the sex pest bit, fishes and top less pics - that's actually been consistent

Mine was plenty of fish and he's also called Simon 😂

Just thought of 2 more for my list:

’own hair/teeth etc’

and anyone that describes themselves as a sapiophile/sapiosexual

Oh yes! This!!! Either all HGV drivers or builders!! Nothing wrong with their trade in general but I often wonder why almost all of them are in the same trade!

Oh and another one. Mostly on POF where you can’t match with people who are over a certain amount of years older/ younger than you. So then you get men contacting you who are older than their profile states but then write something in their bio like “I’m not 40 I’m 50 it was a mistake I made at sign up and cannot change it’! Yeah right, we all know it’s because you’re a much older man trying to get with a much younger woman!!

Maybe not on their profiles but the ones who almost instantly talk about their ‘psycho stalker ex’ - usually because she asked for child maintenance or something - and how they don’t want another one like her

Omg I saw that so many times!! 🤮

Hhahahah I’m currently shagging someone called Simon from OLD 😂😅😂

The sleazebags. One guy was literally posing with his coat pulled open with both hands wearing a t-shirt saying "show me your twat"... another declared all the women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens 🖊 🖊

😂made me laugh out loud with the guys saying women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens.

Fuck me that's excellent

I find that most men on there are photographers. Never seen so many in one place
Some are very ill advised and either have pictures of themselves with guns, or discuss guns or even in one case collecting axes. Surely guaranteed to put off any woman

I had to share this gem with you - wonder if he’s discovered it yet?