Online dating - absolutely fucking grim!

[SwissRole123]

It's vile isn't it? I've quit it now as it's not suitable to my personality but fuck me...

1. 90% of them are absolute rotters who send messages starting with "hey sexy..."

1. The vast majority are instagram slaves who's profile pictures are hanging off a cliff in South East Asia, jumping out of some random plane or posing with a tiger. Personally I'm happy with a bowl of pasta down the local, a few beers and a game of darts.

1. The ones who are apparently looking for a relationship but don't bother messaging you or will fizzle out after a "hello how are you"

1. Quite a few are "regulars" I've seen before with a different name to the one I've seen on a different app... 💍? These are usually the ones who say they're about to delete their profile for technical reasons. Poor cow whoever she is

1. Then there's the "rule" that even on the slight off chance you click with someone you'll have to pretty much accept they're still dating other women until they decide who they want the most. It's all a bit Pick Me 🚫😳

1. The ones who are up to their eyes in kids with the old "my kids are my world and if you don't like it you can fuck off" okay mate but maybe DON'T actually post pictures of your children on a dating site and google safeguarding

1. The six pack selfies. Just stop ✋️

1. I never knew how many people were called Simon.

1. The sleazebags. One guy was literally posing with his coat pulled open with both hands wearing a t-shirt saying "show me your twat"... another declared all the women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens 🖊 🖊

10. The group photo... where he never turns out to be the fit one 🙈

I have to laugh. I actually know quite a few decent people who met online but they were all years ago so perhaps it's all changed since covid I'm not sure. But if any of you single MNers can add to the list, feel free! I'd love to hear more!

Oh, nearly forgot:
’I’ll hold the door open for you, but smack your bum at the same time’
screams total sex pest to me

Agree with everything you say OP although four of my closest friends have met their other halves online and they are happy so maybe it's me who's the weirdo?! 🙈

What's the deal with the fish?

@CornishTiger it's definitely a red flag.... just not sure what they're getting at!

Like is it being told to not make a fuss if they behave badly and you call them out? 🤔

They’re all called Wayne near me, and have really unflattering photos looking down at the camera

The dick pics when you swap to private messages, I've never seen so many angry looking penises, put me right off my dinner 🤮. I didn't last very long on it and came away feeling slightly traumatised.

There are articles about fish photos on dating profiles, if you Google. I had a splenectomy (which I shared with friends) where he looked really miserable while holding the fish, and it was clearly poor weather, as it looked like the lens was steaming up. So it wasn't even a good fish photo.

I was aware that dating could be hard going, from friends who've been on it, so I was prepared for that. I've had an entertaining summer as a result. Though my two favourites are a colleague and a friend of a friend, not through an app. It has been astounding just how bad some of the profiles are. They're probably the same men who are complaining they get no interest and dating is full of time-wasting women, and do not have any inkling that their crap profiles are in any way what's putting everyone off.

I did not have a splenectomy. I had a splendid one.

Probably no consolation op but you're very funny!

Was your dinner an aubergine though?! 😱🍆

Holding a fish photo

OMG is this still a thing? 😂😂😂 I gave up on OLD about 10 years ago when I also became a committed single and Plenty of Fish was indeed awash with fish!

You usually also have to scribble a lot with them to get them to work, and you never know if someones had it in their mouth! 😱

I met DH on Tinder just over 7 years ago and it was exactly the same!
Although you missed the profiles with a long list of dislikes. Stuff like “don’t bother swiping right if you have kids / describe yourself as a feminist” etc. Ugh.
Also the ones who DM you immediately with the negging. So something like “I normally prefer brunettes” or I once had a guy say in his first message that he “doesn’t normally date such petite women.”
I’m 5 foot 4 so hardly abnormally small!

I have quite a big chest and also used to get quite a few charming messages asking if my boobs are real.

a tiger hugging man was quite persistent once. I told him I didn’t think our ethics were aligned and I told him it was due to the tiger photos.

i might be pompous but at least tigers are safe with me 🤣

I laughed as I met my boyfriend on tinder.....none of those applied thankfully except he is called Simon 😂

It's always marks for me, not so many simons

"Anything you wanna know just ask" 🙄

Absolutely terrible, I have tried it 3 times in the last 4 years and each time I have ran for the hills Boeing never to do it again. I definitely won’t be this time. I’ve had a man ask me to go digging with him. I’ve had one day he loves me(never met) I had one day I’d like to meet you but Sunday is my chill day so you have to come to mine and see what happens.

The last one was an unbelievable prick. Nasty and vicious. Very few people do actually meet online and fall in despite all the stories. The doom stories are far more prevalent. I’d rather shit in my hands and clap than subject myself to any of this.

Ask me to go dogging not digging. Sorry for bad post I was rushing

I was on pof about 17 years ago I got a message one night saying come round to my place wear a silky nighie and bring wine I found the men on there to be very entitled. I eventually met my now husband on a night out. He tried in the beginning to mess me around but I got rid of him and friend zoned him until he learned to treat me right. We.ve been together 7 years now. If it didn't work out I wouldn't bother again I just can't be bothered now

Its absolute hell out there. I will never go back on a dating site again, I'd rather be alone forever then trawl through all of my local areas rejects. Often find people I know boyfriends on there too!

There are decent men and women on OLD, but it's pretty hard to find them amongst the dross. Are the paid sites any better? I'm not so sure, it's most of the same people after all.

But I know a couple of people who have met long term partners on OLD in the last two years, so despite the s**t, I'll persevere for now! (Have used on and off for almost 4 years).

Your list made me laugh. I also loathe the pic taken in the messy bathroom mirror. Just grim.

The men never seem to know how to message even the ones with the really well written profiles, sometimes I wonder if they've got someone else to write them 🤔 as once you start messaging you get one word replies.

I find keeping a conversation going really hard as I'm doing all the work, asking questions, all they do is give brief replies so it fizzles out quickly. I did find one man who seemed brilliant but then he ghosted me with no obvious reason which actually really disappointed me as he was the only one I've clicked with recently.

There doesnt seem to be available men in real life though!

Grim is definitely the word. The number of guys who 'don't take myself too seriously'. Looking for 'drama free.' I find that if they're not trying to shoe horn in the sex talk then they just reply once and either disappear or expect the woman to keep the conversation going. Most are just out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious and agree with OP about the number using different names or ages on different sites. Anyone been asked about bitcoin? That seems to be common too.