Online dating - absolutely fucking grim!

[SwissRole123]

It's vile isn't it? I've quit it now as it's not suitable to my personality but fuck me...

1. 90% of them are absolute rotters who send messages starting with "hey sexy..."

1. The vast majority are instagram slaves who's profile pictures are hanging off a cliff in South East Asia, jumping out of some random plane or posing with a tiger. Personally I'm happy with a bowl of pasta down the local, a few beers and a game of darts.

1. The ones who are apparently looking for a relationship but don't bother messaging you or will fizzle out after a "hello how are you"

1. Quite a few are "regulars" I've seen before with a different name to the one I've seen on a different app... 💍? These are usually the ones who say they're about to delete their profile for technical reasons. Poor cow whoever she is

1. Then there's the "rule" that even on the slight off chance you click with someone you'll have to pretty much accept they're still dating other women until they decide who they want the most. It's all a bit Pick Me 🚫😳

1. The ones who are up to their eyes in kids with the old "my kids are my world and if you don't like it you can fuck off" okay mate but maybe DON'T actually post pictures of your children on a dating site and google safeguarding

1. The six pack selfies. Just stop ✋️

1. I never knew how many people were called Simon.

1. The sleazebags. One guy was literally posing with his coat pulled open with both hands wearing a t-shirt saying "show me your twat"... another declared all the women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens 🖊 🖊

10. The group photo... where he never turns out to be the fit one 🙈

I have to laugh. I actually know quite a few decent people who met online but they were all years ago so perhaps it's all changed since covid I'm not sure. But if any of you single MNers can add to the list, feel free! I'd love to hear more!

WTF

I thought they had pencils in Argos now. 😬

misses point of thread

Oh and YANBU @SwissRole123 I would HATE to be single these days. (Sorry incredibly unhelpful I know.) I only say that coz I know what utter fuckwits and tossers go on online dating sites. (the men not the women obvs!!!)

I've just ditched a man after 9 months. He forgot to mention his girlfriend
So that was great
I think I'm just going to get another cat

I was envisioning you going orf to Egypt with Lord Carnarvon or Indiana Jones. But no, it was just the offer of a desultory shag in the back of a Ford Fiesta in a lay-by.

I think that sums up OLD for me.

@RosaMoline

Oh, nearly forgot: ’I’ll hold the door open for you, but smack your bum at the same time’ ... screams total sex pest to me

Oh vomitisation! That is a new level of cringe.

I met my ex on tinder, it was fine, we had a date, got on and that was us for 5 years.

I’ve been on tinder over a year and it’s awful this time around. Men are flaky, they ghost, they ask for your chest size (who asks a stranger how big their boobs are) people just want sex. It’s gross.

I was supposed to go on a second date with someone yesterday, I got to his city, rang him to say I’d arrived and his phone was off. So I was basically stood up.

the most annoying thing is I want another child and settle down. But it’s proving impossible

@Windmillwhirl I think this is 100% the best approach!

Yes the 'own teeth and hair' Jesus Christ if I hear that one more time... and 'I'll smack your ass on the way through'

. I never knew how many people were called Simon.

This made me chuckle for some reason. Either there are a lot of Simons or the women I know keep going out with the same one.

OP -great post! I also HATE the group pics - what is the point of that? And every other bloke has got a pint in his hand.

I don't look on line any more - but I'm of an age where you meet someone while you're out and about and then decide if you like them. Had one marriage and one ltr that way so I'm sticking with that.

Yep. I shan't be doing it again but in all fairness it takes me six months to decide if I even like someone in the first place. None of this 'Seal The Deal' by date three. I'll either meet someone whilst out walking the dog or I'll stay on my own and be content with my lot. With what's left out there to be honest I'd rather read a good book and occasionally frig myself off anyway!

😁😁😁🤣 can't beat a bit of dog walking

I would really like to hope that's someone like Joe Lycett taking the absolute piss

Literally everything in your original post is so true 😂 I dated a Simon too 😆 another thing I cannot stand in some of the men’s bios is the ‘if you want to get to know me just ask’ code for: I’m generally lazy in a relationship, I couldn’t even be bothered to write this bio 🙄 also big ick for me which I’ve been told by more than one man- ‘I need a woman to organise me’ disguised as a joke and code for, I want someone to mother me 🤢 no thanks! Honestly online dating is well and truly awful, my soulmate must have died or something because I’ve practically lost hope in ever meeting them 🤣

A new one which I've been seeing lately which has got me concerned is when under hobbies and interests they've picked 'making films'!!!!!
Er, undercover porno???

I've had two OLD dates recently where they've both spent the whole date talking in extreme depth about their exes, one has the typical 'pyscho' ex, the other was clearly still in love with his. I actually yawned several times as it was boring and awkward.

Why do these men think we want to spend a few hours talking about another woman? Do they not realise how offputting that is? I haven't met up with either again.

Don't forget the ones who put no effort at all into messaging. Simply one word answers so you feel like Graham Norton

I think its gym selfies , photos with horses / horse riding , the dog ear filter and a prosecco hun pictures.

I’d like to add men who mention an interest in ‘shibari’ in their profiles - like they think it’s a classy or subtle or appropriate way of immediately telling you they’re into bondage 🙄

@sospansara also the cross-dressers, and the ones who think they’re Christian Grey…

I also HATE the group pics - what is the point of that? And every other bloke has got a pint in his hand.

to be fair, at least 50% of female profiles have groups pics of drunk women in them,

There are so many, sunglasses, big sun hats, horse-riding, gym selfies, pictures of the cat, group pictures of drunk women ( which one are you), group pictures of skiing holidays (which one are you), pics of your tats, holding the camera above your head ( why do so many women do that), last but not least all the effects, bunny ears, cats whiskers, stars, bubbles, just no to all those

And the trout pout, what is with that ?

Met my OH on Match 2 years ago - but before settling with him I endured conmen, a guy I ending up phoning the police on and a narcissist who just wanted me to give him foot jobs in the back of his Audi. Fucking minefield. Couldn't believe OH was 'normal' to begin with but got lucky. If I ever found myself single again I'd give Audi guy a call because he had a HUGE ....car never go OLD again.

...and I was laughing at digging! Was trying to work out if it was for buried treasure or bodies!