John learns to adult

[R0SEMARY]

Thread 2 - many thanks to @GAHgamel for the thread title. And to everyone else who has supported and advised me thus far.

@R0SEMARY

Thank you *@pointythings and @Orgasmagorical*.

So maybe there is no cunning plan. He is simply using the two tactics he knows:

1. Giving or withholding time / attention / money to control and manipulate others
2. Telling lies to control and manipulate others

The can of deodorant to one child and the £15k car to the other are not different tactics - they are opposite sides of the same coin. He’s just thrashing around trying anything to see what works.

It’s not a carefully worked out plan - it’s desperation. #lightbulbmoment

Ok that gives me a big clue what he will try next.

Thank you everyone for letting me vent on this thread, it’s been so helpful writing it all down and getting your feedback.

I think you've nailed it. He believed you/the DC the community saw him as MR important Man & expected everyone to fawn over him. When that dud t happen he's tried to gain sympathy/buy relationships/gaslight etc.

You have made such fantastic progress in the course of last year
@R0SEMARY, I'm so very pleased for you (I lurk)

Charm, rage , self-pity.

He’ll cycle through those three channels (sometimes within the same conversation) to try to get a reaction.

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

www.chumplady.com/2014/09/the-mindfuck-channel-only-has-three-stations/

2/1/22 at 10.43 , there's a name in that post that you might not have intended @ROSEMARY !

Thought about how you were doing and looked up the thread. Glad to read the updates, and that you are doing well. Hope your son will in fact study and manage to get into his course.

John will forever be the bastard of bastards.