John learns to adult

[R0SEMARY]

Thread 2 - many thanks to @GAHgamel for the thread title. And to everyone else who has supported and advised me thus far.

Just think what the insurance would be on a £12k car for a young new driver with no NCB?!

I’ve not discussed money with DS2 so far as he’s the least practical, most selfish and closest to his dad. So I explained to him that I will pay for the car pro rata to my income v his father. John has 99.5% of our combined income and I have 0.5% ( this is after pension and CS)

God I love you

Just to reassure you - John has no intention of buying DS a £12k car. He just wanted to position himself as the amazing dad who says Yes and me as the evil mum who says No.

Of course it’s an utterly ridiculous idea. I drive an 11 year old Ford that’s probably worth £4K!

DS3 isn’t that easily manipulated and DS1 isn’t that greedy. Only DS2 is so gullible.

John’s pattern as a parent is to undermine me all the time and never take responsibility for anything . I know this will not suprise our regular readers 😉

“ Boys - do your homework / tidy your rooms because otherwise your mother will nag me “.

“ Your mother wants you to load the dishwasher “. ( obv I’m the only one in the house who uses plates and cutlery )

“ Take the bins out for your mother “ ( they contain only my rubbish you understand ) .

No doubt in the past he has said “ I’d buy you an expensive car but your mum won’t let me “. So now it’s

“ I’d buy you an expensive car but your mother won’t pay her share”.

He is still more interested in putting me down than being a decent parent to his kids for the 3 hours a week he spends with them . It’s pathetic.

@Billybagpuss

In other news, DS2 ( the one who is learning to drive ) came in last night and said his dad is willing to buy him a £12k car if I will pay half

Or he could buy on his own for £6k and still have a nicer car than I’ve got and a big step up from all his mates. No 17 year old needs a 12k car.

This is an excellent idea - I’ll tell DS .

That shit isn't going to change one little bit. But at least now it won't be an everyday thing as far as the household 'duties' go. And as the boys get older they'll get wiser, even DS2.

@R0SEMARY

Just to reassure you - John has no intention of buying DS a £12k car. He just wanted to position himself as the amazing dad who says Yes and me as the evil mum who says No.

Of course it’s an utterly ridiculous idea. I drive an 11 year old Ford that’s probably worth £4K!

DS3 isn’t that easily manipulated and DS1 isn’t that greedy. Only DS2 is so gullible.

John’s pattern as a parent is to undermine me all the time and never take responsibility for anything . I know this will not suprise our regular readers 😉

“ Boys - do your homework / tidy your rooms because otherwise your mother will nag me “.

“ Your mother wants you to load the dishwasher “. ( obv I’m the only one in the house who uses plates and cutlery )

“ Take the bins out for your mother “ ( they contain only my rubbish you understand ) .

No doubt in the past he has said “ I’d buy you an expensive car but your mum won’t let me “. So now it’s

“ I’d buy you an expensive car but your mother won’t pay her share”.

He is still more interested in putting me down than being a decent parent to his kids for the 3 hours a week he spends with them . It’s pathetic.

Just thinking there's factory that produces all these numpties because I swear to fuck your John and my John have never met but they're basically replicants. That whole 'your mother' shit. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just thinking there's factory that produces all these numpties because I swear to fuck your John and my John have never met but they're basically replicants. That whole 'your mother' shit.

But there is!! Haven't you ever heard of the 'Willy WANKER Arsehole Factory'?

@BelladiMamma - “my “ John has two brothers . Are you sure you’re not married to one of them ? Does your first name begin with S?

[quote R0SEMARY]@BelladiMamma - “my “ John has two brothers . Are you sure you’re not married to one of them ? Does your first name begin with S? [/quote]
Ha ha ha

My first name does begin with 'S' but my John has a sister. Who avoids him like the plague. To the point of having a panic attack when left alone with him ...

@AcrossthePond55

Just thinking there's factory that produces all these numpties because I swear to fuck your John and my John have never met but they're basically replicants. That whole 'your mother' shit.

But there is!! Haven't you ever heard of the 'Willy WANKER Arsehole Factory'?

Can we send a resistance unit out there to tinker with the programming, removing the arrogant arsehole setting and replacing it with something more useful such as a talent at cross stitch?

thinking about it, I have 2 'Johns'. One I was married to for 20 years (in process of legally Separating). Our teens (16 & 14, one very like me one more like him character wise) are now becoming wise (er) to His Ways. It's sad for them, because they look so disappointed in him.

One I have known for 35 years who is enabled by his 2 'other' women.

Extraordinary they get away with the shit they do for so very long.

You are my inspiration, @R0SEMARY

@52andblue @R0SEMARY what I don't understand is that my Dad is actually not like this at all. I thought we all married our fathers?!

[quote BelladiMamma]**@52andblue* @R0SEMARY* what I don't understand is that my Dad is actually not like this at all. I thought we all married our fathers?![/quote]
This is something a cousin and I (mums are sisters) have often talked about. Both our dads were wonderful true 'gentlemen'. My dad was the 'quiet type' her dad was more the 'boisterous type' but they both treated their wives with love and respect. As couples our parents were true 'partners' who each walked along life's path together arm in arm.

So why did Cousin and I both pick absolute abusive shits for our (first) husbands? Who the hell knows.

Maybe because you hadn't experienced the red flag behaviour, you weren't on the look out for it as an issue?

Absolutely thank John for promising to give the dc 6k for a car. That's great news

@GAHgamel @AcrossthePond55 @R0SEMARY lots of truth in that inability to recognise red flags 🚩 because not encountered before... oh well, you live and learn!

@bigbaggyeyes - he didn’t really. He promised @R0SEMARY would spend 6 grand of HER money. (Which she probably hasn’t got, or she’d probably be driving a better car herself.) Absolutely no consultation. Just a unilateral decision by the man who bought his kid deodorant.

I was being sarcastic

Sorry… I should have realised. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Just wanted to say hope all is still going well for you @R0SEMARY. It's unbelievable that John is trying to manipulate your DC, but sounds like they have the measure of him.

@MotherofTerriers

They can be very odd about Christmas - you've always facilitated it for them, why wouldn't that continue?

My exH couldn't believe that he didn't get a Christmas day invite after we separated.

Apparently he sat all day waiting for the phone call. When he told me (later) I said I assumed he would be with OW. He replied "how could I be, she's married"

OMG! The level of selfish delusions there. Poor creature staring at the phone, awaiting the call.

There's a good smack in the face from Reality for him, learning about the consequences of his life choices

@CharityDingle - that sounds like something you’d hear confessed to the Vicar of Dibley! What an idiot!

@R0SEMARY

*@MotherofTerriers*. Poor lamb waiting in all alone .🤣🤣🤣🤣

John will not be coming here and the only reason I care is that if he’s alone the children will feel bad and he might try to guilt trip one of them into coming to his.

So I think I will suggest they do the day here and go to his in the evening. We always have Christmas dinner about 4pm so if they go about 7pm he won’t have to cook for them.

I don’t know who John’s latest AP is so don’t know if they are married. But he’s not going to tell the kids that. He knows that they won’t fall for the “ we just met a few weeks ago “.

If he had any sense he would arrange to go to one of his large family of Christmas Day and have the kids on Boxing day. But he is too proud and wouldn’t want to admit that he is alone at Christmas . No doubt he’s told them all that it’s amicable blah blah blah .

In other news, DS2 ( the one who is learning to drive ) came in last night and said his dad is willing to buy him a £12k car if I will pay half.

I’ve not discussed money with DS2 so far as he’s the least practical, most selfish and closest to his dad. So I explained to him that I will pay for the car pro rata to my income v his father. John has 99.5% of our combined income and I have 0.5% ( this is after pension and CS) .

So that’s £600 to me and £11, 400 to him. And of course John has to pay the running costs.

Let’s see if that happens. No doubt that will go the same way as “dads buying me a whole new wardrobe of clothes and two pairs of shoes”.

As a PP said “ Once a prick - always a prick “.

Surely he has his lovely daughter to host him for Xmas ?

Just catching up on old threads hope things are good with you @R0SEMARY