AIBU to ask DH to have a shower before we have sex?

[J1llae]

DH suggested going to bed about an hour ago. I said ok, I’ll have my shower. Do you want yours first, after me or together?
Immediate fed up face ensues. No, I’m not going to bother says he.
Why not? Is it an unreasonable request? We’ve just returned home from a lengthy, brisk, sweaty but enjoyable walk.
Now he’s huffing and on the computer upstairs and ignoring me.
AIBU to think he should shower out of respect for me?

I had a bath once a week and a child and a wash of pits and bits everyday with a flannel. We were not dirty or abnormal. Sex is sweaty,dirty and sometimes a bit whiffy(if you doing it right) so no if my do had already had a shower I would not insist on another one after a '"walk". So glad I like filthy sex.

He's already had a shower and if you're in the uk then it isn't hot, so even after a long walk, he won't be particularly sweaty.

I only have more than one shower or bath a day when I've been working out or if I'm dirty/very hot weather.

You are being unreasonable in my opinion (and I'm sensitive to smell and dirt)

"would any of u want to put ur mouth around ur DP’s member without it being clean?"

What is your definition of clean?
Why would it not be clean? It is clean. Naturally clean. Why had this generation seen it as Not clean and therefore needing a shower?

Why is everyone showering twice or three times a day? When you get up, after the gym, before sex, after sex, before bed? That's 5 times a day!

How is all that showering good for the environment? Or your skin?

I find it more weird that people don't shower before bed 😅 and get into bed ... on the sheets ! Yuck

But if you've already showered earlier in the day why would you need to shower again? Unless it's very hot or you've exercised it just seems wasteful.

I don't get the obsession for constant showering !!

I don't think I've ever actually sweated during a walk unless very uphill.

@SandSeaBeach

I’ve always found it weird that people don’t shower before getting into a ‘fresh’ bed. Sex or no sex. We always shower before getting into bed.

Unless you're changing your bedding every day then it's not 'fresh' though is it?

Not applicable now but what do you do if you've been out and got home late? Had a drink?

Tbh I'm a slightly jealous that some of you have time to shower multiple times a day - at the moment just finding time for one shower is a challenge.

I'd be a tad offended if DH asked me if I was going to go and have a shower before bed 😂 and vice versa.

I don't know OP, I just see it as a bit of a passion killer - "Make sure you've patted dry and talced, love!"

I can kinda see both sides.. not necessarily a shower but a quick sloosh
Otherwise you go to give oral and they've been going for a wee all day and you get a nose/mouth full of urine smell grim

Im a little bit OTT when it comes to cleanliness at sexy time. I like to be all fresh and preferable OH is too. If he wants it, he will.

I must be really unfit, I often get sweaty and a bit smelly on a very vigorous walk.

"and you get a nose/mouth full of urine smell grim"

I've never had that. From anyone.

Why all the obsession with showering? Multiple times per day?

Wierd. Where had this new phenomenon come from?

As a youngster we never had a bath every night!

All these poor husbands. With women who are OTT / have health anxiety - about 'cleanliness'.

I have a shower each morning. I don't want to have a shower before sex. And I certainly don't want to afterwards. Jump up and go right, let's both have showers? No! I want to stay in my warm cozy bed, cuddle Dh, and fall asleep. Thanks very much.

@Oblomov21 I have, and not just one bloke either and it's grim
Like I said I'm not fussed about them showering beforehand provided it's not like that. Maybe I just have a nose like a bloodhound

I'd expect this if DP had been to the gym or for a run, yes. But i wouldn't have to ask, he'd just do it. But after a walk? No.

@FuckOffBorisYouTwat

I don't think I've ever actually sweated during a walk unless very uphill.

Me neither.
Uphill, brisk, and in the summer, yes. But not in minus 2 degrees at the min.

Well, I quite like to lick and suck cock after it’s been inside me and we’ve both cum, so it’s covered in both our juices, but I guess that’d be grim in MN world.

why is that grim in MN world? Isn't that just normal sex?🤷‍♀️

Yuck. He could shower in bleach and I won’t do Oral full stop. 🤮

And no we don’t have much spontaneity but that’s down to him. If it was up to me it would be any time of day anywhere in the house. With him it has to be in bed and only after he has finished reading.

Oh no. I couldn't be doing with this. 😕

**non consensual - typo!

Urgh. I definitely want a showered man if we're having sex...just as I wouldn't have sex with him without a shower. He loves oral so he wouldn't never dream of not showering first; just respectful isn't it? He has a shower by default every morning and night, just on the off-chance :-D

If he'd showered in the morning & only been for a walk then a shower, for me, wouldn't be necessary.
If you were worried he might be a bit stinky, ask him to join you in the shower & kick the night of passion off in there!

@LouJ85

Well, I quite like to lick and suck cock after it’s been inside me and we’ve both cum, so it’s covered in both our juices, but I guess that’d be grim in MN world.

why is that grim in MN world? Isn't that just normal sex?🤷‍♀️

Well for me, it is, but in MN land some people need to shower in bleach before having the most sterile imaginable sex!