AIBU to ask DH to have a shower before we have sex?

[J1llae]

DH suggested going to bed about an hour ago. I said ok, I’ll have my shower. Do you want yours first, after me or together?
Immediate fed up face ensues. No, I’m not going to bother says he.
Why not? Is it an unreasonable request? We’ve just returned home from a lengthy, brisk, sweaty but enjoyable walk.
Now he’s huffing and on the computer upstairs and ignoring me.
AIBU to think he should shower out of respect for me?

would any of u want to put ur mouth around ur DP’s member without it being clean?

Well, I quite like to lick and suck cock after it’s been inside me and we’ve both cum, so it’s covered in both our juices, but I guess that’d be grim in MN world.

OP I hear you. If its simply fresh-ish sweat then fine. If its post shower poos mixed with sweat then nah.

Oral sex with the faint wiff of poo is beyond grim. Not everyone has a great wiping technique grim!

I also get into my bed in my outdoor clothes for a nap! Shock horror. I never shower before bed.

@sammylady37

would any of u want to put ur mouth around ur DP’s member without it being clean?

Well, I quite like to lick and suck cock after it’s been inside me and we’ve both cum, so it’s covered in both our juices, but I guess that’d be grim in MN world.

high five!!

Obviously I could be considered over harsh/controlling whatever, but if DP didn't have a shower at night then he doesn't share a bed with me. He also has a shower in the morning. He' always showers, or baths, twice a day - it doesn't take long (unless it's a relaxing bath).

Does your husband exercise a lot or a have very physical job?

I think the fact the OP said they have oral. She isn’t unreasonable to want her husband to shower before hand.

I'm totally with you OP. It's much more enjoyable post shower and the sulking makes me want to puke! He needs to grow up. It's not the movies!

Some people don't mind taking a break between initiation of sex and the actual act, for others that would be a passion killer.

If taking five minutes to have a shower is a “passion killer” there can’t be much passion or love there in the first place. If the only way someone can have sex is because their animal parts are screaming at them that’s a bit sad

Gosh, Mumsnet is an absolute mine of information on how others live.

Also like to add that some people smell quicker than others. It depends on their weight, hair and how much they sweat!

I think there's a middle ground on this issue that is being missed.

Some posters on here will insist their partners 'boil wash' themselves in detol before allowing them to even share a bed, and others will assert that you must shag your partner even if he's just rolled his knob in dog shit otherwise you're a prude.

Meanwhile in the real world most people will have a shower before sex if they need one and not if they don't.

@MotherForker

I also get into my bed in my outdoor clothes for a nap! Shock horror. I never shower before bed.

Outrageous!

@CoronaIsWatching

Always have to get DP to shower beforehand, otherwise his private part smells like the fish counter at Morrisons

I really hope you're exaggerating.

For me it’s become an age thing. In my 50s I prefer a showered man. Prior to my 50s it didn’t seem to bother me as I really don’t recall having a shower before a quick shag in the Capri.

If sweaty puts you off then yes he should shower. Whether or not it puts anyone else off (like him) is irrelevant.

This x1000

Anyone who manages to sweat on a walk today has done pretty well. It was snowing.

We usually have baths / showers knowing that sex is on the cards that night regardless of if we've had showers that day/ or day before. However if its a "shall we have a quick shag?" situation 🤣🤣 no we don't shower first, but if my DH has been doing any kind of exercise or being at work I would expect his d**k to be clean & fresh especially if were doing oral first and if it isn't i March his arse to the sink 🤣🤣 oh and sulky moody men get nothing im afraid

Seems a little odd to me... not very spontaneous. I wouldn't be in the mood anymore after two people have had showers, dried hair, moisturised.

@MotherForker

I also get into my bed in my outdoor clothes for a nap! Shock horror. I never shower before bed.

Pure filth 😏

@Thebestposter

Anyone who manages to sweat on a walk today has done pretty well. It was snowing.

If you're wrapped up for the weather and end up going up and down hills at a brisk pace, you do.

Otherwise you're not putting in enough effort! 😂

@aboutbloodytime123

I guess it depends how sweaty! I probably wouldn't, after a walk, if things were getting passionate and we were about to get sweaty again anyway 😂

😂😂😂

Totally agree OP. I'm not sucking a cock that's not freshly washed.

@WouldstrokeTomHardy 100% 🤮🤮 sniff test needed if its not fresh its not happening 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly @hoping. Pull back, sniff and suck or not in the case of the non showering oral dodger 🤮. I remember a thread on here, I think it's now in classics. A poster said she had gone down on her bf and he had fluff from the throw on here bed that must've stuck round his bellend last time they had sex days before. Still makes me want to vom when I think about it. Thought I'd put that lovely picture in the heads of those berating the OP

I find it more weird that people don't shower before bed 😅 and get into bed ... on the sheets ! Yuck .

Tbf shower before and after sex sometimes ... sue me 😎