AIBU to ask DH to have a shower before we have sex?

[J1llae]

DH suggested going to bed about an hour ago. I said ok, I’ll have my shower. Do you want yours first, after me or together?
Immediate fed up face ensues. No, I’m not going to bother says he.
Why not? Is it an unreasonable request? We’ve just returned home from a lengthy, brisk, sweaty but enjoyable walk.
Now he’s huffing and on the computer upstairs and ignoring me.
AIBU to think he should shower out of respect for me?

And no we don’t have much spontaneity but that’s down to him. If it was up to me it would be any time of day anywhere in the house. With him it has to be in bed and only after he has finished reading. 😂😢

What's to talk about ?! That would kill the moment even more

If anything I get a bit annoyed if Mr Noodle wants to have sex just after I've had a shower.

Well you might be laughing at the responses but after our long walk yesterday, I had amazing sex with my husband, after YOUR walk you are spending your time bitching on Mumsnet. 🤣 I know what I preferred. And oral is optional. You can have sex without it. I have lots of very good sex that doesn't include oral.

Pathetic thread.

@Clymene

MN's obsession with humans smelling and tasting of artificial perfume is really off the scale unhealthy.

If you feel your partner needs to have a shower before you'll have sex, you have the problem, not them.

Precisely.

And the OP asks if any of us would put our mouth around our partner's cock if he wasn't clean. Of course not. But that doesn't equate to straight out the shower. My partner showers in the morning and is clean all day.

@J1llae

And no we don’t have much spontaneity but that’s down to him. If it was up to me it would be any time of day anywhere in the house. With him it has to be in bed and only after he has finished reading. 😂😢

He just gets better and better

@ZippedyDooDa

I've never heard of this in my life! Maybe one would shower after some unbelievably sweaty/smelly activity, but after just a walk? Times really are a-changing.

Me neither

You should not have to remind a grown man to wash...

I can't stand people who don't take hygiene seriously and disrespect their partner in this way. Not something I would put up with. Complete turn off.

If sweaty puts you off then yes he should shower. Whether or not it puts anyone else off (like him) is irrelevant.

It’s not about what others think or what your DH thinks. If you need someone to be fresh and clean before something so intimate and personal then so be it. It’s Your body his bits are going to be inserted into. DH and I always jump in the shower first. My DH knows how I feel about freshness. He’s never protested. He knows if he wants sex it’s part of the deal. It takes 2 minutes for Pete’s sake. Now he’s huffing and sulking? What a turn off. I think your issues are about more than showering.

YANBU get in the shower. Mildly sweaty bits? well not going to smell great is it

I definitely think people should be clean when they are going to have sex. It's respectful.

At weekends people maybe shower or bathe at different times of the day when they aren't going to work (if they are going out to work atm!); it wouldn't have been unusual for either of us to do so in the afternoon. However we'd certainly give our bits a bit extra care before bed.

YANBU to ask him to shower again, but that said since he already had one today so is not really dirty, it would put me off if I was initiating sex and my DH suddenly said he’s off to take a shower and asking me to take one too. I’d feel unattractive.

Just as well you don't live in a warm country, you'd have him in the shower all the time. Fresh sweat has pheromones that should attract you.
I totally understand stale body odour putting you off but if he showered this morning its unlikely to be the case here.
Don't get his huffing and blowing though that would kill the moment for me.

You need a pre-sex penis beaker.

I used to love it when my late dp came home all dirty and sweaty from a hard days graft

Always have to get DP to shower beforehand, otherwise his private part smells like the fish counter at Morrisons

Everytime I nip for an extra shower in the evening or afternoon, when I get out my DP has stripped off and leapt into bed awaiting my fresh clean bod to service me! It's hilarious sometimes. Always thinks showers = a shag.

My DP is always clean before sex. It's urgh otherwise. Especially oral.

Think your bejng a bit precious to be honest op,
if I was lucky enough to be offered sex I'd be up those stairs pronto shower or no shower !!

It annoys me when my husband looks for sex AFTER a shower. I'm like, fuck it I'm all clean and now I'm getting sweaty again. I've never ever considered asking him to shower before sex. This thread has been eye opening.

OP YANBU. Perfectly reasonable thing to expect and to ask whether first, second or together.

They certainly don't do that in the film's. Couples always fall through their front door pulling each others clothes off, after a hard day's work and a few hours in a bar, and dtd over the kitchen table.
I wouldn't insist on a shower (unless fellatio was on the agenda!)

My dh wouldn't even need telling to at least pop into the bathroom and give his bits a quick skoosh. If there's a bit of notice, as there usually is nowadays (like booking a doctors appt in this house 🙄) then he'd shower without even mentioning it.
I do wonder how we managed when we were both students living with parents (and much of our sex life was very spontaneous and took place on sofas, in cars etc) but that was so many moons ago I can't remember. Must've got fussier with age.