Dating Thread 199 - Come on 2021....

[LongtimelurkerL]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I didn't phrase that too well @VanGoghsDog - I was referring to the thread's propensity for pheromone analysis. I won't be sniffing anyone ! So to rephrase I will be subjecting myself to a possible sniff test (and good luck with that on a windswept hillside).

Yes, I don't think an actual sniff would go down that well, more being exposed to ambient pheromones. . One upside of social distancing is that you can be sure any felt pheromone excitement is from your iron rather than someone else nearby. In a crowded bar things could get a bit mixed up. Not that I actually worry about these things IRL.

@cravingthelook - I like your profile a lot. One thought which might be reading it wrong. It sounded like you're asking someone to be kind and respectful, when perhaps you should just expect it? Otherwise looks really good.

@vangoghsdog 😂😂

Just to clarify I'm saying the conversation or meeting has no legs not the man

@Dancerinthemoonlight haha

I'm not sure what to write on my profile...maybe I should be honest...

" I feel sorry for myself a lot, am scared of dating anyone as I don't want to be let down again. I have no motivation for anything at the moment and I barely manage to make it through the day...and I have depression" hmmm maybe not!

@DdraigGoch PMSL at “does anyone who views my profile turn to stone?” 😂😂😂. I wish some of the ones who view mine would sometimes!

@cravingthelook love your profile. You could paraphrase the “kindness and respect” line into “no bastards” haha. Though I used to have “no Tories, no leavers” and often attracted illiterates who were both. But I think it is a great profile so if you are attracting oddballs it’s probably not you, it’s them!

@bangheadhere40 dear God I would not dare do an honest profile given my cynicism levels! Although Mr L’s profile was bang on and I loved that as it didn’t raise expectations of something he couldn’t offer. Most other men I’ve met should have written “liar, hurts women, more baggage than Heathrow airport, seeks understanding woman for sex and sympathy. I am ignoring your “no bastard” clauses Socks” 😂

Ahah I’m on one tonight! I’ll go and calm down (it’s that Form E, it’s given me the rage!)

Yes, I was joking 😁...wouldn't it be good though if there was a dating site we could post honestly, instead of trying to make ourselves sound good!

@LongtimelurkerL I'm so pleased you had the conversation and it was good news.

I know you don't have to post the whole conversation you had but did you clarify that deleting the apps means deleting your profiles too.....not wishing to be pedantic but deleting the app to me just means removing it from your phone whereas deleting your profile is exactly that.

Unfortunately in this day and age you have to be ultra clear in what you mean.

@UtterSocks I'm going to get all strict - get that form done, the sooner you do it the sooner you divorce the bastard and can get on with your life without being financially linked to him still.

I'm hoping your cousin will help you.

Hope you have a nice time with Mr G even if you know its ending imminently.

@SortingItOut I said deleting my profile and he agreed so beyond watching him do it in real time I think I’ve said as much as I really can atm? Thanks for worrying though

Yes @UtterSocks the forms are urgh but then it’ll be done! Yay

@LongtimelurkerL Thanks for confirming, I just worry that some blokes think they can get round things by saying you weren't clear

I bet you're so relieved to have had the chat about things

@SortingItOut I know everyone says this but I don’t think he’s like that....! I’m taking it slow and being all calm about it.

Did someone have a walking date today or am I going mad?

HAM has a sniffing date.....

Thanks @VanGoghsDog

How was the sniff @HairyArsedMan?

HAM tell us about the sniff

I have a coffee/walk tomorrow with a local guy I've chatted with a few times but we never made it to meeting.

Mr Pose

It wasn't today - happening over the weekend but I'm keeping the little projector inside my skull switched off, as I've been cancelled with short notice before now.

@HairyArsedMan good plan.

And in answer to your question, if Mr Hometown got over his ... what ever it is ... I think I'd happily date him and just see how it goes. Our friendship is genuine and I do like his company lots.

3rd walking date with a chap last night. Gave me a real grilling on my intentions and didn't seem to believe me when I said i am looking for a family and to settle down as I also want to retrain professionally and I don't think he believed I would be able to do both. Made a big deal of being into me but bloody hell it was an inquisition. Then no response to a message from me this morning. I'm not getting into all that wondering whether he will text. Shame. He was quite cute.

Reading a bit more of your messages

@bangheadhere40 I feel you
@Dancerinthemoonlight do I really need to tell you to step away from the flashy pushy idiots 😁

@Yellowhighheels - did the grilling make you feel uncomfortable? If so take this as a red flag. If he was being inquisitive and interested because he's been let down before so be it. Only you know how it felt.

Yeah a bit tbh. I felt I was having to defend myself and he had jumped to a few conclusions about me. I think the difference was that he is a very young 30 something, lives at home, only a few short flings now wants marriage and kids and wanted to ascertain I wanted the same then crack on without really getting to know me much. Never mind! Have another walking date today with someone who seems much more worldly and down to earth.

Well the Snapchat conversation with Miss G is still pottering on - with a couple of replies once or twice a day. In the (quite likely) event that nothing will ever come out of it (not even managed to arrange a distanced dog walk), I've kept idly browsing the apps.

Somehow I've managed to get three matches on Bumble in the last couple of days (city-dwellers on here may think that three matches is hardly any but trust me, the dating pool here is barely big enough to paddle in). No messages at all so far, despite two of them having matched yesterday. For those not familiar with Bumble, when you match the woman has 24 hrs to message the man before it expires.

I may as well get a cat.