Is this a penis beaker??????

[Thereturnofthepenisbeaker]

This is in DP’s bedside drawer! We live in our own separate houses, but I stay over there twice a week. Went to get my hairdryer out his drawer and opened the wrong one by mistake, and there it was. The rest of his drawers (like his house) are neat and tidy with no crap in them, so cannot see why on earth it’s in there. and no, I haven’t asked him. Yet.
It’s a water bottle cut in half with silicone round the top. I’ve popped a vape pen in to give you an idea of size. It also some very very short hairs on the silicone.
He has ED issues and told me spends most nights when I’m not there choking the chicken. Is this some sort of cock ring? Or penis beaker?

The Blue Peter Vag had me crying 😭😭 definitely one for classics this

@Itsjustabitofbanter

SMELL IT!!!

OMG no!

@ColleagueFromMars

It definitely looks like a knock off fleshlight to knock one off into!

Apologies if it's his year 5's pen storage homework project.

It looks like his year 9 build a vagina for experimentation project

I have so many questions!

There were pubes in it so you thought you'd put a vaping device in it??

It's not very... um... tight, is it?!

Or deep....

He has ED but chokes the chicken (grim turn off if he actually uses that phrase!) All the time when you're not there.. is it a death grip problem? in which case i point out again that this is a rather flaccid gap in silicone

Name changed OP here

I put the vape pen in to give an idea of size.
Don't think it was cough cough made to measure, it's longer than that but definitely not as thick (when it's up...he has selective porn induced E) He's a builder and I guess he's probably thought I wouldn't guess what it is if he used a home made one.l

@yahoosername

Let us know how it goes 🤣

I will

Not to give myself away as overthinking this, but it has the potential to be quite a genius contraption. Presumably the water bottle and silicone give him the flexibility to squeeze his death grip harder as necessary whilst still pretending its not his hand(s)... not envy

I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

Christ someone direct this poor fella to love honey;that DIY flesh light is so grim.

Fleshlight.

Another word that I hope never to have to use in real life but will be adding to my MN Jotter.

The penis beaker was a good few years ago

It looks like a home made 'flesh light' fake vagina for wanking.

What Is it

@AlwaysLatte

Aw I feel sorry for him, it's private. Maybe not for you to see, but definitely not us.

Name changed OP here He has put naked dick pics up on dating sites I doubt if he cares who sees this I don't

@Alwaysinpain

That's extremely, erm......short...... Are you sure??? I mean, would it...fit?!

Name changed OP here

No it wouldn't fit, he'd have to share it with a few mates

This thread is pure gold!

@AngelzEye

I don't think he'll be very happy if he ever finds out about this. So hopefully, the 'return of the penis beaker' never goes viral like the original...

I wasn't too happy when I saw it. I've been celibate for 2 years whiles he's been pumping a blue peter cock ring. And I really don't think he'll mind, he's been posting up naked dick picks on dating sites

@Butterer

If I was a much less nice person, I'd be suggesting sprinkling chilli powder on the inner edges.

(I'm happy to entertain it merely as a thought though).

Name Changed OP here

Genius 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

He has put naked dick pics up on dating sites

@Ihadvodkaforbreakfast Is that while he's been with you OP? Either way, it sounds like you can do much better than this creature.

I take it this is your last night staying at his?!

I'm sorry about enforced celibacy Op, but this is the funniest thread I've read for ages and yes, I did google "sailor's worm jar" 🤮.

Will you let him know that you have found it though 😂

And I really don't think he'll mind, he's been posting up naked dick picks on dating sites

@Ihadvodkaforbreakfast how do you know this? Does he know you know this? Is this while you've been together? I'm a bit confused now whether you're hurt by finding this or wanting to tell him to fuck off and are leaving him

👀

@yahoosername

I take it this is your last night staying at his?!

I haven't stayed with his since lockdown, but no I won't be staying there again. Found this some time ago, and it's been puzzling me for ages, but being as he's lied before, I didn't ask him what it was as he'd just lie again. I thought I'd see what the mn jury had to say before confirming him as I wasn't sure

@SoulofanAggron

He has put naked dick pics up on dating sites

@Ihadvodkaforbreakfast Is that while he's been with you OP? Either way, it sounds like you can do much better than this creature.

Yes I forgave him before, and for all the other stuff, but a leopard really doesn't change its spots

@ThePluckOfTheCoward

I'm sorry about enforced celibacy Op, but this is the funniest thread I've read for ages and yes, I did google "sailor's worm jar" 🤮.

Thank you! And I did feel sorry for myself, but after a glass or three of wine and reading all these comments I'm laughing so much. Haven't googled sailors worms yet though....🙈