I've been sent this...

[ShrekandDonkey]

What would you think if you received this from an anonymous facebook profile? Obviously its between DH and this profile.
He says he was just trying to figure out who was messaging him so was being nice to them so they would confess. I think he's bullshitting.

[WouldBeGood]

Oh dear, sounds like he’s talking shite. Horrible fir you 💐

[lockdownlush]

He's annoyed your digging more.. sorry, but it is what it is. You'll find more and then more lies will follow.

[Oceanp94]

I'd insist he did it now -so you know either way

[Potterpotterpotter]

He’s annoyed because he knows if he acts annoyed you will back down.
He will probably even cause a full on row tonight to get you to shut up

[Oceanp94]

Or ask him for the log in and do it yourself 'save him the hassle'

[booboo24]

Yes i agree, ask him to do it now, if it's innocent he'll be breaking his neck to prove it to you

[Oceanp94]

I've still missed whether he told you about this -or she did ?

You're the one with grounds to be pissed off here -stand your ground 💪

[ErinBrockovich]

I’d also want him to do it in front of me so I could see what he’s doing.

Sorry OP but it does sound suspicious.

[MyName007]

'I think he is bullshitting' - I do think that too. Sorry.

[ErinBrockovich]

And he’s annoyed at you?
Sounds like the gas lighting is about to start:
Why don’t you trust me?
I can’t believe you are making me do this.
If you make me do this then I’ll do/tell x,y and z.

Or the ultimate ‘if you make me do this then you don’t trust me and it’s over’. If you hear this call his bluff.

Anyone innocent who was ‘just trying to figure out who it was’ would be happy and relieved to be able to prove their innocence right?

[Oceanp94]

@ErinBrockovich exactly this , if he's innocent then there should be no problem

[NewAndImprovedNorks]

He’s annoyed at you? The bugger.
DARVO

[NewAndImprovedNorks]

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and offender

[LirBan]

@Potterpotterpotter

He’s annoyed because he knows if he acts annoyed you will back down.
He will probably even cause a full on row tonight to get you to shut up

This. He wants to scare you with his anger. Intimidate you in to backing down. Which is lovely isn't it!?

[Vodkacranberryplease]

Ok you've been caught out but there's not 100% proof yet. But it's about to be all over. Do you
A) go for the distraction technique causing an argument so you can stomp out without having to show you aren't lying
B) download it quickly away and find it 'doesn't work'
Or C) get really cross about being 'not trusted' and turn it around so that the OP then has to tell you she doesn't need you to download it thus giving you time to get rid of the evidence before going back and offering to show her.

Any or all of those three are usual. Any of them show he is lying but as you don't have a 100% proof you are forced to give him the benefit of the doubt. Though I wouldn't.

[HappyDays10101]

Surely he should be delighted to download it all!

[Vodkacranberryplease]

Oh I've got it! He could try
D) admit that there was a conversation but minimise the content. Not download the thing because there's 'no need' and say he'd rather you didn't see it because he's not proud of what he said. Doesn't want to hurt you and has told her it's not happening.

Say 'if there was more she would have sent it'. Which doesn't excuse the fact that he was sniffing around her in the first place.

[msflibble]

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I don't think your DP said anything especially incriminating here. Clearly the intention of the
devious cow person who sent you this screenshot is to break the two of you up. So why didn't she send you something more incriminating? She asks "what about your wife" - could it be that he said "I love my wife" or something to that effect, so she decided to cut that bit off, because it wouldn't achieve her desired effect? If he'd said "don't worry about my wife I don't give a shit about her" she'd have sent it to you.

Your DP has been a bit dim in deleting the thread and not immediately giving her the brush off but if he had said anything worse she'd have sent it straight to you, no worries about that. He obviously panicked and didn't want you to know this exchange had happened so he got rid of it. Bit idiotic but doesn't necessarily mean he planned to cheat on you.

Yes, maybe he thinks of his ex sometimes. I think of all my exes sometimes, usually to roll my eyes but occasionally with fond memories of distant past lives we shared. I'm sure DH is the same, and that's fine. It's ok to reflect on past relationships with people you were once very close to. That doesn't mean you want to get back together with them. It seems pretty clear he humoured her for a bit, and then rejected her and that's why she's sent you this. She's bonkers and unlikely to pose any threat to your relationship, unless of course you play into her hands and get into a huge fight over this meagre "evidence of wrongdoing", that is.

[HollowTalk]

Insist on him downloading it. He can be as annoyed as he likes with you.

[Franticbutterfly]

@ShrekandDonkey

He said fine he is happy to download it but I get a feeling I'm going to have to push to actually get him to do it.

I've just got home from work and he oddly seems annoyed at me

If he hasn't done it already, he wants to. It's almost worse as you now have all of the suspicion etc and no evidence. This is how men ruin a good relationship, they just want to be adored and flattered. Idiots!

[CharlottesComplicatedWeb]

Bullshit. Sorry.

[Chezacheza]

[quote ShrekandDonkey]@Greendays thats what DH says. That she must have sent this to me because he rejected her advances he says they never confirmed who they were but plenty of clues and he asked them something only they could know (which weirdly they only got partly right). He also says there would be more screenshots sent to me if he did agree to meet which is fair enough.

The kick in the teeth though was that this was all done on our anniversary! [/quote]
Yeah I found similar messages on my ex facebook early on a New Year’s Eve when we’d had an amazing day and night. Although one of them asked for the other number ( can’t remember which) and the thread went dead. So they’d obviously had a good chat. I ignored it and believed his BS because I was pregnant.

He is lying to you. I know you don’t want to believe it but he is. He knew damn well who it was and he thinks your an idiot

[smallestleaf]

It seems pretty clear he humoured her for a bit, and then rejected her

Which makes him sound absolutely lovely, and not at all like an arse who messes women around for his own amusement.

[Codexdivinchi]

He deleted the thread so he didn’t have any evidence of him being an absolute tosspot.

Years ago I got some random troll messaging me saying they had created a fake account to tell me they fancied me to test the waters. Said they had caught me looking at them whilst I’d been out with them lots of times. I told who ever it was to go wank a poodle and went and shown my dh.

Why would he keep this secret? Why wouldn’t he tell you straight away? Sounds very fishy to me

[Chezacheza]

@ShrekandDonkey

He said fine he is happy to download it but I get a feeling I'm going to have to push to actually get him to do it.

I've just got home from work and he oddly seems annoyed at me

Zero chance that thread is going to appear.