I've been sent this...

[ShrekandDonkey]

What would you think if you received this from an anonymous facebook profile? Obviously its between DH and this profile.
He says he was just trying to figure out who was messaging him so was being nice to them so they would confess. I think he's bullshitting.

[SummerSazz]

@ShrekandDonkey are you ok?

[JingsMahBucket]

@ShrekandDonkey this sounds extremely stressful. Have you tried speaking to family and friends about this? They can likely help you to offload and focus your mind.

[Relocatingtohome]

Solicitor and because he locked you out etc etc -I'd ask for a residency order.

[OngoingOmnishambles]

DO NOT leave that house and your DC again to avoid giving him any ammunition against you. How long were you away for? If anyone asks just say it got too much and you needed a breather.

Just stay in separate rooms, don't get into arguments and avoid conflict whilst at the same time moving forward with a legal break via solicitors.

[WouldBeGood]

If you’re married you’re both entitled to stay in the house. Unless you’re in danger I wouldn’t leave, especially not leaving the dcs. If you’re afraid, then could you take them to stay with a relative or friend until you can get advice?

[TwentyViginti]

his house? Wrong!

You can separate while living in the same house for now. Sleep in separate rooms. Do no 'wifework' for him, only for DC.

[MJMG2015]

Stay strong, you're doing the right thing.

Solicitor (obviously) and get the paperwork organised and bank accounts etc.

You can do this

[tornadoalley]

My ex had a series of very similar texts. Lied non stop. You H is too

[ShrekandDonkey]

I'm back in the house, my 10 year old let me in.

He completely refuses to leave. Says if I want to divorce then I need to leave his house (its a joint mortgage).

I don't have anywhere to go 😪

[Vodkacranberryplease]

If he's changed the locks without your permission that's illegal. You are entitled to live in the matrimonial home and to have access. You are also entitled to have a key if he has changed locks.

Has there been any element of DV? That you have kept records of? Any threats to your physical safety? Or coercive control you can prove? You may need to start involving the police and then go for an occupation order and non mol order.

He sounds nasty. Very nasty. The courts are only concerned with what it best for the children so if you don't get those children and either stay there or stay elsewhere with them you could lose them.

[TwentyViginti]

Whatever else is going on, it's clear he is very angry. Will you be safe, once in the house?

[BuffyTheBuffetSlayer]

Get in your house asap. My ex got into my house while I was on holiday (had been split for months) and he destroyed my personal belongings, binned some too and some of my favourite pictures of our DC went missing.

[ShrekandDonkey]

I know it seems like it has escalated a lot but there are other things going on that I didn't put in my original post- not to drip feed but so it wasn't biased as I just wanted opinions on this situation.

[OngoingOmnishambles]

Let him rant on. Keep copies. Let him put down in writing to you that you are not allowed back etc. Go to the police and make a record. Tell them you are not happy with him in the house and concerned for all your welfare. Speak to a solicitor on Tuesday morning.

Don't put anything in writing to him except the bare minimum, reasonable comments.

He thinks he's clever, but he's not. Let him stitch himself up.

[EarringsandLipstick]

This has escalated quite a bit from how he was when you were discussing the texts with him - it's so strange he appears to have really altered his personality as you didn't indicate any of this personal abuse in your earlier posts.

Anyway - yes, get the police involved, today. You need to get into the house & see I put children. If you are not safe with him, tell the police.

Then, urgent legal advice as soon as possible.

I'm confused as to why you said you were leaving at all, and why you left? Why not tell him you want to end things, and then carry on, get legal advice and go from there?

[Muser314]

I would go to the police. I know it's Sunday, but Seriously. This is not going away. You're ''barred'' from your house! How dare he.

You're going to get divorced and he's going to fight hard. Have you somewhere to stay?? You didn't agree that you would leave. He just locked you out. Make sure that that's recorded.

You need it on record that he will not let you back in to the house and that you needed a police escort to go and get your stuff.

The court don't care about he said she said he said she said, so unless there is a record of it, it didn't happen.

[ShrekandDonkey]

Well clearly I know that 🙄

[WouldBeGood]

I don’t think it’s helpful to tell him you’re staying with another man, friend or not.

[ShrekandDonkey]

Oh there is zero evidence of me being an unfit mother i know that for sure. Its actually quite laughable that he's been so predictable with the things he's coming out with. He has been extremely vile towards me over text (all of which I've kept) and I've been extremely calm and not abusive at all.

Part of it is my fault- I told him i was going to stay with a male friend (mainly because he has no idea where he lives, although it didn't stop him leaving the kids at home on their own to drive round looking for me!). I had no intention of actually staying with this friend (who is definitely just a friend) but I didn't know how else to get him to realise that I'm 100% serious about leaving him. That has backfired on my part because now apparently I'm a slag, a cunt and an unfit mother.

The lengths men will go to to pubish a woman because she's fed up with his crap and wants to leave.

[Muser314]

Try not to get too anxious. Do a meditation to ease anxiety.

I remember the stress I felt when I was splitting up from my X. He was determined to TAKE ME DOWN and he didn't care if the kids were passengers to that. It was so stressful. I was so anxious.

www.youtube.com/results?search_query=meditation+to+ease+anxiety+and+stress

a list of guided meditations and hypnosis and classica music etc to ease the stress and anxiety.

[NotaCoolMum]

It is going to be tough. My DS Dad was awful when we split but it just made my resolve that much stronger. You’re going to be so much happier soon 💐💐💐

[WouldBeGood]

@ShrekandDonkey ring a solicitor first thing and arrange an urgent appointment. You need legal advice.
Sounds a horrible situation. Hope you’re ok.

[Muser314]

Oh they all try the ''you're an unfit mother'' card but the judge will roll his eyes. Honestly. I've been through this.
There will be NO evidence that you're unfit. He will be flagging himself as abusive if he says that. (But let him shoot himself in the foot).

[Muser314]

Wow.

What a dickhead! Go to the police and tell them you need a police escort to get in to the house! Let that be on record. that you didn't leave willingly. He is being an idiot here.

Stay strong. Let him try to use the law to control you. He will quickly get a reputation for being abusive. Let the police get the measure of him.

[ShrekandDonkey]

He definitely won't leave. He says why should he be made to leave when its me who wants a divorce.

I tried to return but could not get in the house. I have told him I will be back with a police escort and he said "Good. You'll need one". I know he thinks he is smarter than me but bloody hell I even i know he's just spouting whatever bullshit he can to hurt me.

I can see this is going to be tough 😔