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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've been sent this...

346 replies

ShrekandDonkey · 19/08/2020 14:43

What would you think if you received this from an anonymous facebook profile? Obviously its between DH and this profile.
He says he was just trying to figure out who was messaging him so was being nice to them so they would confess. I think he's bullshitting.

I've been sent this...
OP posts:
chickenyhead · 19/08/2020 16:01

Sounds like ex contrived situation in order to split you up if I'm honest

Then she can move in

ShrekandDonkey · 19/08/2020 16:08

Its his ex from just before I met him. He does have form for lying about meeting her (from the first couple of months into our relationship so not too committed at the time) but as far as I know they haven't been in touch since.

I've just looked at her Facebook profile and she is recently single!

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Kimbo180 · 19/08/2020 16:08

Wonder does that link work be interested to know

ShrekandDonkey · 19/08/2020 16:12

I've asked him to download it. Let's see what he says.

OP posts:
Namechange2020onceagain · 19/08/2020 16:18

@Kimbo180

Wonder does that link work be interested to know
It does work. I did it on my own profile. It shows everything you have ever clicked like on, all photos, videos etc.
Oceanp94 · 19/08/2020 16:20

Oh god , don't have much to add other than I think he's bullshitting too . I'm a bit confused though, did he volunteer this information first or had this woman sent you the screenshot first? What came first , coz if it wasn't him that makes it even more suspicious.

ChurchOfWokeApostate · 19/08/2020 16:21

Yes, it’ll be interesting what the download says, I bet he’ll think of a reason why he can’t.
I agree though, I feel like he knocked her back this time (after enjoying the ego stroke) but has something to hide regarding her and him in the past, probably at the very beginning

GreenDays557 · 19/08/2020 16:24

Everything you've ever clicked on?

I'm never getting that on my phone.

Namechange2020onceagain · 19/08/2020 16:25

@GreenDays557

Everything you've ever clicked on?

I'm never getting that on my phone.

Clicked the like button.
mrsbyers · 19/08/2020 16:28

Messages are stored even if blocked / deleted - I recovered some a while ago in different circumstances , google will help you out

CloudPop · 19/08/2020 16:29

[quote Namechange2020onceagain]He says he knows it looks bad but he wishes I could see the rest of the thread

Download all FB data. It shows every conversation, even the deleted ones.

Here's how to do it.

www.facebook.com/help/212802592074644[/quote]
Useful feature

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/08/2020 16:30

[quote Namechange2020onceagain]He says he knows it looks bad but he wishes I could see the rest of the thread

Download all FB data. It shows every conversation, even the deleted ones.

Here's how to do it.

www.facebook.com/help/212802592074644[/quote]
I was just going tho say - if he's "very technical" he would know how to access deleted posts.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/08/2020 16:33

Expect the "If you truly loved me, you'd trust me" line.

CleverCatty · 19/08/2020 16:45

@smallestleaf

As she only sent you the bit up to where she asks about his wife, then that clearly means he didn’t bite

He's already bitten. Best scenario is he doesn't want to go back for more.

They had a full affair. It ended. She got back in touch. When he said ' its my fault' she is hoping he will restart it, that is why she is asking about his wife - which presumably was the reason he gave for ending it first time around. Ie. is you wife still an impediment to us being together again?

This would seem plausible to me - anyway of checking bank statements or unusual amounts of money going missing e.g. for hotels?
AryaStarkWolf · 19/08/2020 16:50

I mean if she was the one who sent that screen shot on and its incriminating why did she not show you what he said when she asked about his wife?

AryaStarkWolf · 19/08/2020 16:58

Just for those saying that he obviously ended an affair and that's what he meant by it's his fault, he could be talking about it being his fault why they broke up originally? I'm not saying he definitely didn't have an affair but it could mean either, surely she could have sent something more incriminating than that if they did have an affair

chickenyhead · 19/08/2020 17:06

thats what I thought. The texts seem to be taking about the past past, not recent.

Cheesecourse · 19/08/2020 17:07

Or it’s someone who vaguely knows about an affair... originally it sounded as though it was an ex but you said they didn’t get everything right...

CleverCatty · 19/08/2020 17:08

I think she's shit stirring though as she must know it's your anniversary and wants to cause trouble by sending this that way, a real kick in the teeth

CleverCatty · 19/08/2020 17:09

@chickenyhead

thats what I thought. The texts seem to be taking about the past past, not recent.
so why is she sending this now? just a rose tinted glasses look at the past, reminiscing on the past? doesn't make sense
chickenyhead · 19/08/2020 17:25

because she is recently single and wants him back. Clearly

LirBan · 19/08/2020 17:30

Wow the x you thought it was is recently single. Trust your gut. Your husband is insulting yr intelligence.

WinterSunglasses · 19/08/2020 17:34

When he comes up with some bullshit reason why he can't download those messages, tell him it's one coincidence too far and you want him to leave now to give you time to think this through.

booboo24 · 19/08/2020 17:36

The data retrieval doesn't show deleted messages unfortunately, once they're gone they're gone. I knew this but just tried it again, I deleted a message thread, then got a copy of my data and that thread didn't show up. His reaction to being asked to.do it will tell you a lot though

ShrekandDonkey · 19/08/2020 17:41

He said fine he is happy to download it but I get a feeling I'm going to have to push to actually get him to do it.

I've just got home from work and he oddly seems annoyed at me Sad

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