Boyfriend has admitted to being an occasional cross dresser

[MyFlabberIsAghast]

My boyfriend and I haven't been together that long but we definitely see a future together. However last weekend he admitted to being an occasional cross dresser. He said he doesn't want to do it all the time, isn't a transvestite, doesn't want to be a woman and never does it around his daughter and wouldn't around my DCs.

It's not an absolute deal breaker for me; he said if I hated it he wouldn't do it again because he doesn't want to lose me. But at the same time, I don't quite know how I feel about it.

It wouldn't bother me, I am happy as a woman but I occasionally wear mens clothes and dress masculine its not an identity or a fetish thing for me.

D'oh!

The red flag here for me is the assurance that he’d stop if you don’t like it.

No he won’t. I’d be more comfortable with a man who said “look I have this proclivity. You can be involved with it or not but it’s part of my sexuality and I will sometimes act upon it so if it’s a problem for you, then we really need to reassess whether this relationship has legs” or some such.

Feigning nonchalance is bullshit because it is putting the onus solely on you to either have to repress your desire for a non-feminized man or repress his desire to be a feminized man - that’s not fair.

It’s immaterial whether or not you can live with a man who likes cross dressing. Is this man going to take responsibility for his own desires/needs/fetishes or is he going to put you into “Mummy” mode and tell him if and when he can have his “treats”?

You already have children. Do you want to parent an adult too (who will ultimately do as he likes anyway, thusly wasting your time and energy)?

It's a weird fetish. No no no