Boyfriend has admitted to being an occasional cross dresser

[MyFlabberIsAghast]

My boyfriend and I haven't been together that long but we definitely see a future together. However last weekend he admitted to being an occasional cross dresser. He said he doesn't want to do it all the time, isn't a transvestite, doesn't want to be a woman and never does it around his daughter and wouldn't around my DCs.

It's not an absolute deal breaker for me; he said if I hated it he wouldn't do it again because he doesn't want to lose me. But at the same time, I don't quite know how I feel about it.

Not to say their wives would like it more of they did but I can certainly see why they feel how they do. A lot are basically told their feelings dont count because of what their partner is going through. When in many cases the partner is a disgusting abusive cunt which I imagine adds to the repulsion

Nope, nope, nope. Get out now while you can. Imagine coming home early and finding him in your underwear? Grim.
I agree with other pp that you should do some reading around AGP.

it’d be a big fat No from me OP

I suppose everyone is entitled to a fetish but my fetish is for a guy who wouldn't dream of dressing up in women's clothes. Really grossed out at the thought of being in a relationship with a cross dresser.

He may be entitled to his fetish. The OP is entitled to decide whether she is still attracted to him given this part of his overall personality.
I would not find this attractive, others may have a different view.

It’s just a fetish! If you’re fine with it then I don’t see the problem. You just need to set clear boundaries. Everyone’s saying that he will make you be involved but that really isn’t the case. I have a fetish (not cross dressing) but I have never once asked a partner to do anything to do with it. He sounds like a decent bloke who’s done the right thing by telling you about it. I don’t get all the hate.

I'd fuck it off based on the manipulative, lying way he's broken the news to you. Making you feel like you have any say in this. He's just gauging how secretive he will have to be or whether he'll be able to involve you or need to pay other women to admire him online.
I'd fuck it off because it doesn't do it for me.
I'd fuck it off because his particular fetish is a piss take, offensive and minimises the entire female experience and reduces it to wearing a pair of cheap polyester knickers ordered from a grubby sex catalogue, having long red nails or whatever else the 'costume' is.
So fuck that times 3.

Name change.
My DH is an occasional CD, we've been married 20 yrs. It's still a thing he only does occasionally, he is about as far from a narc as you could get. I've read the trans widow threads and don't recognize anything in my relationship in the (awful) experiences on there. There is no doubt this can be a strong and destructive fetish BUT it's not always the case. I don't generally write on these threads but genuinely my DH is a kind, loving male with a kink, he is not a cold narc with an obsession. I can't tell you what your BF is, I can't tell you how you feel about it. My relationship is wonderful, I couldn't be with a smoker or someone who loved anal, done both before, they were deal breakers. Key is don't feel pressured or guilty, your choice and feelings are as legitimate as his.

It depends on scale of cross dressing.
As said before there are endless spectrums of sexual fetishes/kinks. People are very quick to label others.

I'd still give him a chance.
If it's harmless you might actually like it! If it's not for you then you know what to do.

He could be the most loving, loyal, perfect partner you could have!

Eddie Izzard looks fantastic when he dresses.

Also how sexy is Tim Curry in Rocky Horror?

Eddie Izzard looks fantastic when he dresses

in your opinion.

In my opinion he looks like Shirley off eastenders after she's had a night on the vodka.

I wouldn't want to shag him. Or Tim curry dressed up as a sweet transvestite.

Eddie Izzard was a cross dresser for years and years. He's trans now apparently.

See, I could throw Tim Curry on the bed and dive bomb him. A body builder in budgie smugglers would make me boak. Luckily there's someone for everyone, doesn't make us wrong or mad, just different.

Eddie Izzard rewrote history. And believes he is more entitled to female spaces than females are. What a man eh.

It's no wonder the trans movement is as big as it is looking at some of the replies on here.

It's clear that many people see feminine traits in a man is horrid, a turn off, abusive, boak < whatever that means.
So all these lads, taught this sexist bullshit, learn it's bad and shameful and that to feel that way they must be women.
Men should be men... To not be manly men is obviously to be women.

Double standards..
Women wear man's clothes, fine and dandy.
Man wears women's clothes, evil, sick, pervert, men should be men, abusive, fetishist, AGP so on and so on.

Boak = the sound you make just before you throw up

Ugh, I can think of few things I'd fine less attractive tbh.

*find

MonkeyToesOfDoom my boak was aimed at the macho type btw. My DH looks better than me in a dress, the bastard!

If it were just a bit of dressing up, it would probably be fine. It’s not though, is it? He’s told you by the drip method; more will be revealed as you accept each stage. It’s grooming for want of another word.

What the Ned to dress up? I think it’s probably a deep rooted belief that no woman is as good a woman as they could be. The ultimate introspective narcissism.

In my book relationships are about meeting the other person’s needs not about using them as a tool to compare myself with. I suspect cross dresses may be very critical of their partners in other ways too but that’s only intuition.

What does his ex wife say?

Before you know it, he will be wanting to fuck you wearing a frilly nightie and going by the name of Barbara. Fuck that bullshit!

You sound incredibly naive. Cross dressing is actually a very very complicated issue. It's problematic. Think about it.

Eddie Izzard shows an utter endless contempt for women.
They are not expressing their feminine side, they are getting off on their view of a woman and how submissive this makes them feel.

Monkey I don't think that's what's happening here at all. Cross-dressing is reinforcing the gender stereotypes.
If you're a man who wears eyeliner, dresses, nailpolish as you go about your daily life, you don't need to make an announcement eg Boy George, etc. That's breaking down stereotypes.
A cross-dresser sees wearing women's clothing as a secret, as something transgressive. It's an absolutely regressive approach.

Why is it mainly women going along with male fetishes? I never see posts from Sue the stressed mother of four dressing up in a tux or a mankini.

It's always men in heels, getting off on wearing stockings or basques - never an Asda tracksuit with say baby sick on the shoulder. It's always a sexualised, sexist version of what men think women should wear, stupid kitten heeled slippers and negligees.

I've seen too many AGP posts on Twitter to be anything but cynical.

Read the trans widows thread.

It's totally up to you if its a deal breaker. I'm sure its very confusing seeing your boyfriend in a new light.

However in my eyes they're only clothes. Not sure what it matters how people choose to dress.

Take your time to think things through and decide based on your own feelings. You know your boyfriend better than a bunch strangers on the internet.