Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

@jesuisprest the first time you do something will always be the worst. You will be fabulous (all the people on the thread see this) at marking your territory and actually @starryunicorn has a point you might like her.

@ant330 that's really shit, you are doing the right thing, I wouldn't want someone who's racist either.

That's made me think, I have very light conversations with people when I'm getting to know them but maybe I should ask Mr Runner how he voted in Brexit or today's elections and see if any nasty opinions come out.

@Ash559 You could ask here for a review. I found it very useful. The logistics are tricky with Tinder/Bumble but it can be done anonymously through PMs and links in Dropbox/Google Drive.

@Ant330 Yes, that's the death knell alright. Sorry it went that way.

@shitwithsugaron A charming man indeed @CassettesAreCool why pamper life's complexities when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat ...

I'll get my gladioli...

Thanks for all the thoughts on pics. I agree with @CassettesAreCool it seems utterly entitled. I'd rather take a chance - if you're getting on well enough to want a date, are the pics such a dealbreaker ? Maybe I have a high bar for going on a date though ? A belated thanks for frozen protein bar recipe @JeSuisPrest. You will sail through the barbecue.

Oops formatting gone awry. Apologies.

jesuis great plan! ❤️ It.

shitwith ha I thought you had fallen weeks ago

ant that’s a shame but I think you should call her out on it or she won’t know. I also agree it didn’t sound like you were all in with her.

Ooof Ant sounds like that's put the tin lid on you and Ms Oz. I once talked on the phone (pre-date) with an iron who managed the trifecta - homophobic, racist and disablist comments. Shocked me so much that someone could be so bigoted in this day and age. I've got an adult disabled DC so he (iron) was left in no doubt about what I thought of his comments ....

shit are we talking the L word? Come join me on the loved up bench if so .... I'm away for the weekend with Mr BC with dinner in a fab 'get your glad rags on' restaurant ... nut honestly, we could be in a caravan in Cleethorpes and I'd still be 😍😂

hairyarsed I don’t quite get your banter - Dame Edna? - but I do know I went a bit mad that weekend last year. I both cringe and laugh like a drain when I think of it. Luckily no harm was done but it reminded me that, under my incredibly respectable exterior, the heart of a massive risk-taker in her youth still beats. I have to remind myself to be careful because OLD is full of potential risks that just aren’t worth taking

So I think the worst has happened. I think I'm falling/have fallen for Mr Bookworm, biiiiig time.

Ooh, how lovely.

@StealthNinjaMum It took ages for MrSG to admit to how he voted in the Brexit referendum. I’d worked it out but his hand was forced when we visited some friends of his. He hadn’t realised that I’d known (for ages) and genuinely looked like he feared I might dump him then and there. His friends thought it was hilarious. He’s an idiot (and his reasons for the vote he’s now embarrassed by are ridiculous, but he knows they are). I just tease him that people who vote simply to watch the world burn should just stay at home and not bother.

JeSuis – I can’t wait for the update! Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer still, lol. Did he tell her how you reacted? Be prepared to grin and bare it. You’ve got this.
Lifegoes – Glad you’re feeling better. We all have those moments we feel so alone, so you are not alone! Lol. Seriously, feel free to post whatever you’re feeling, we are here for you.
Shitwith – Aww, bless, that is so lovely and I agree that serenading you playing guitar would be a massive swoon for me.
Ant – I think it’s best to have a word with her. She may not realise she’s doing it/being offensive/it’s not the norm. You may be surprised that she hadn’t really thought about it. I mix with a diverse group of dog walkers and it’s surprising what different views people have for different reasons. Even if it’s just one flag of many, and you don’t want to continue anyway, you’d be doing a great service by gently explaining.

When you know, you know @shitwithsugaron. There’s really no ‘early’ or ‘late’; it happens when it happens.

Now you can both do that skirting around it thing, where you both know one of you is going to say it, but not who or when. It’s a kind of L-word chicken.

I am checking in.

Still not back on the apps 😂

Btw all of you not feeling it, it really is a nice feeling to wait till you're ready. I feel like lifegoes a lot - I am so lucky to have great friends but most are not single and although I'm out with them loads over the weekend, it's noticeable that they all arrive with partners and I err don't. And I will get the 'are you seeing anyone' all weekend long and 'I can't believe you're single'. Sigh. So I totally get that lonely feeling xx

Also up for a meet up if one gets arranged!

@shitwithsugaron I’m really happy for you. I’m also a teeny bit jealous as no-one has said those three words to me and meant them for quite some time. Apart from my kids, which makes me pretty lucky really I guess.

Not too early shitwith. And we did the dancing round the word too lol

The dancing around the word is traditional. And kind of lovely.

@shitwithsugaron I've only got one word for that Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
🥰🥰

Random just had an apology text come through from first iron post EA relationship who turned out to have drinking issues for any who remember him?!random. The irons keep coming back every so often with apologies or because they're in a bad place. Still radio silence from bf if he's still that

Haven't heard from him in 6 months lol!

I still haven't lost at L-word chicken with Mr Far.
He's repeated himself several times now and I'm still just smiling and ignoring...

But its good. Having lots of interesting conversations sometimes with words and I think we both know it's probably not going to be a 3 month fling. Scary stuff.

@CassettesAreCool no comment was intended ! it was just recalling a lyric from The Smith's This Charming Man which chimed with your Audi experience

Well that explains my complete failure to recognise the allusion then - The Smiths have totally passed me by to date. I tend to think of it more as paradise by the dashboard light