Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

Thank you @TooOldForThis67 that means so much and I really appreciate it.

This made me so happy @shitwithsugaron I feel like I've been on this love journey with you and with Tooold so it's so inspiring to see something blossom so well for you both.

@CocoKoko123 Oh the amount that come back when you are moving along well is astounding.

I’ve never had any of mine come back 😂

Found you all!

Happy for all the luuuuurve 🥰

It's great to read the relationships that are working out.

I used to post sporadically last year when one MNer was ghosted by a guy after a lot of dates and then met another guy online she's moved overseas for. Her life sounds amazing now. Only saying this because I randomly saw her post on a thread the other day.

to all

❤️❤️❤️

I’m taking some time for me while the kids are at their dad’s. In a hot bath, listening to Solange, with a cup of tea. Not thinking about MrSAS at all. Nope. Uh uh 🙄

Damn it, twice now I've swiped quickly on tinder (in a trigger swipe left, getting through the shit) and twice I've swiped left on a what looked like a hottie.

God damn you trigger happy finger swiper

Lol @lifegoes, I’ve done that before. Either superliked someone by mistake trying to swipe up to read their bio as I forget I’m not on Bumble, or swiped left too quickly as I usually do because it’s so rare to see a hottie 🤣

Loving the plan jesuis!

Big loves to those feeling crappy. OLD is really tough and I find myself questioning myself and putting myself down so much. Can be a nice distraction though too.xx

@JeSuisPrest your plan sounds awesome...can't wait to hear what happens. As a fellow tortoise owner I feel Mr C's pain 🐢🐢

Knowing that a lot of people I know in real life, and here, and on a Facebook group I'm in have met men online is keeping me going.

I've been on Tinder two weeks now. I've pared down a load of matches where conversations weren't happening. I've unmatched Mr Swiss - 8 days after our date and he still hadn't even texted to say no thanks, and it was his turn to text, strictly. Of the 6 I have now, 3 haven't messaged, although one only matched tonight. Of the other 3, 2 conversations stalled 72+ hours ago (their turn to reply), and the other I initiated 24 hours ago but no reply.

Am I really that undesirable??? 😢

I'm going to try and keep up with this one! I've decided that I have to say something Mr Climber so I'm going to muster up the courage to speak to him next week. Eek!

A couple of days ago I ran into the guy who was really intense with me and then dumped me. It was quite good actually, it made me realise that even though I felt shit at the time I can get over things quite quicky. I might be able to be friends with him, we'll see...

Hello everyone, I'd like to share my week. So I matched with MrJL on Saturday last week. We've been messaging all week & we met on Wednesday for a drink. He's seemed really keen and was lovely on the date. Messaged me following & said where are we at. I thought at time that'd I'd like a fwb and suggested this, thinking I could handle it. However I'm now thinking that I actually quite like him but feel like I might have sabotaged a chance at giving it a go. I don't think I can handle a fwb after all. I'm new to all this aggghhh. Just realised I'm more vulnerable than I thought. Oh dear.

Candace19 I am not sure that men genuinely go on the apps looking for a FWB he probably wanted a LTR with you when he went on the date. What was his response when you suggested this?

@NestOfSwipers that sounds totally normal for tinder. It's not you in the least. You have to filter through a huge amount of people, matches and chats. Keep swiping.

@vwman you're speaking for all men again. You don't know what he wanted when he went on the date. Have you met him??

@Candace19 all you can do is tell him. Although I still don't really understand what the difference is. Or tell him you expect a FWB to be exclusive. Then you've got a relationship!

I love the name of the new thread @cassettes!

Btw, I also think cassettes are cool. I still have a tape player in my car and a couple of dozen of tapes floating about

peanutz - MrWow and I used to have that discussion about what the difference was between FWB and a relationship, he took your view. I agreed but added that the 'relationship' could evolve to something long-term and more permanent, whereas FWB was temporary but could develop to something else.

@StarryUnicorn @Ant330 haven't read past mid-aft yesterday but putting my hand up to protest here please as the resident and definitely not racist Aussie!
Absolutely lots of racism in Oz, but that's usually from 1st and 2nd generation white Aussies who if they hadn't emigrated to Australia from Britain, South Africa etc to "escape" they'd all be buddying up with Nigel Farage or similar.
Ah.. I could go on but will stop. Just wanted to protest :-)

@vwman I think on this occasion you are correct. I thin he thinks I'm a player now and has said he's out. Waaahhhh. I'm used to twats so when a nice one comes along I mess it up. Lesson learned.

@Candace19 is that what he's said?

I personally don't think you've done anything wrong, it's so early on with one date. You haven't DTD so it could be hard to say what you actually want from him.

Whenever I'm asked early on I tend to say I'm not looking for one night stands. But I want to get to know someone and enjoy seeing how/if that can progress into something

@Candace19 - go back. What's the harm. Go back and say - sorry i thought that's what you were looking for, I thought i could do that but realised i couldn't - is it too late to make amends?

@Candace19 What supercali77 said - what's the worst that can happen? He can only say no again, then you can chalk it up to experience and move on. Fortune favours the brave and all that...

Why oh why oh why do decent looking men then go and ruin things by uploading topless pics on their profiles?

There have been a few I have been about to swipe right on and then looked at their other photos to see topless/in bed ones.

I don't care how great your body is...unless I'm about to sleep with you I don't want to see it! Gah!

@Candace19 some men still do not get that nice girls can be naughty. Even if he is thinking, I wanted a nice girl and incorrectly I think she is not, take the postives out of it. You now know what you do and don't want that you do not want a FWB.