Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

*@shitwithsugaron I've only got one word for that Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! *
🥰🥰

Oh. That’s exactly how I feel about this.

I’m loving your resolve to win at l-word chicken, @WarIsPeace.

I think that’s a fair protest @midcenturylegs. And a good point about the cosying up to that odious hypocrite Farage. (Frankly, whatever your stance on EU membership is, Farage is still a shit).

'I'm not sure that men go on the apps looking for FWB' yes they do! I have encountered plenty

@Sunshineandflipflops I feel I'm going to be firmly in the minority here, but I've never been offended/disturbed/put off by the sight of a decent chest on a profile.

@JeSuisPrest nooooo I'm with you. I love seeing a good chest. Ohhhh and the shoulders and arms. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

'I'm not sure that men go on the apps looking for FWB' yes they do! I have encountered plenty

@AsleepAllDay Me too...sadly. Seems MrSAS was after exactly that.

@JeSuisPrest @Lifegoes A lot of the time they are not 'decent' though and I just think it's nice to leave some things to the imagination or at least until later...
I wouldn't post a topless photo on there so I don't see why men feel the need. Arms...well that's different!

@AsleepAllDay yes but not ones that you have been on dates with, if they are looking just for sex they will have declared themselves much earlier on, perhaps by even putting naked chest photos on their profile

A chest picture is a welcome relief on fab.

If I've only been sent face pics till then it's also an easy way to tell how accurate their physical description is about their body.

@vwman again, not always the case at all. I had no idea that's what MrSAS was after until 2 months into seeing each other regularly. No topless photos either (just a very hot one of him doing a mud run...phew...)

Thank you for the vote in favour of cassettes midcentury! I have millions still 😊

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm firmly onside with you. And the come-hither pouts while they are lying in bed are just CRINGE.

And good luck @JeSuisPrest, I think you have a brilliant BBQ plan.

I've deleted all the dating apps, I just can't be bothered with them right now - way too many stalled or boring conversations. Blah.

I do have drinks planned with one guy tomorrow night. He's a tree surgeon by day, aspiring musician by night. Also Welsh.

He seems very nice on WhatsApp, but I'm trying to limit how much we chat until tomorrow night, because I don't want to get hooked in too soon. He's still on Tinder which is fine. I'm not planning on anything serious.

I think I may finally have a decent potential iron!? Haven't met him yet but a date is in the pipeline for next week.
I've had quite a few chats with others this week but very slow and in the end I asked all three what they were looking for as I just cant do all this chatting and all three said looking for fun.
Which is fine but not for me.
Hidden my profile and going to concentrate on just the one. He is the only one who said he would drive over my way to meet me as I cant go far with DC. And looking back,has ' long term's on his profile.
Though saying that,I know a bloke who puts ' wants to get married' as he says it attracts the women

Mr Welsh has really gorgeous forearms in a few of his pics. I don't mind that.

@Ginmel I've never used fab but I would probably expect more sexy pics on there!

@Sunshineandflipflops I thought you might make a comment like this. I actually think MrSAS is after a LTR hence he was still on the apps, but after 2 months he decided it was not with you. But with you he was willing to continue until you gave him the commitment ultimatum.

Back from my date with Mr Desperate. Genuine, nice man, lost and confused in the OLD world bless him. Lovely voice, teeth, eyes, and fit as he works outdoors. Solvent. Caring. Respectful. Good kisser. BUT no sense of humour and not 6 foot as on profile - actually the same height as me. The latter I can maybe cope with, the former is a dealbreaker. Strangely gutted.

How to stick the knife in @vwman why on earth did you think that was an in anyway necessary thing to say?

For all you know and you don't, mr sas could be a complete player and commitmentphobe.

@CassettesAreCool I presented my 12 yr old with an off-the-press (?!) Sigrid cassette for her birthday. Def a resurgence happening!

@Crustaceans thanks :-) have to say though that I saw some really disgusting racist bumper stickers on the back of utes when last home in Oz though. Cannot say here, and not worth giving the thought the time of day.
My first experience of OLD was with someone who was basically what I call an uneducated racist. Ie brought up that way, had never challenged his own thinking on it. He was surprised my oldest best friend from
Oz was an Indian woman. Tossed tosser! I just never come across those sorts of people in my social circle - working life.

Still not really on the apps as trying to sort some issues out with / for my kid. Hoping that after our half-term holiday she'll be a little better.

@JeSuisPrest With you on the chest and arms.. (I think that's why I'm drawn to climbers) but not of photos in bed

vwman I don’t think you mean to be unkind but your conjecture about Mr SAS’s motives reads a bit insensitively to me

Mr Cornish had a very impressive chest shot on his. He's not after a FWB (so far as I know and we've actually had that conversation.) His was taken at the beach - he's coming out the sea all wet and glistening, grinning like an idiot - not a pout in sight. He also had a picture of his dogs and car to which I just think - why????

@bumblebrambles Good luck for tomorrow night.

@CassettesAreCool That's a shame - perhaps he was just really nervous - worth a second date?

@vwman Fuck me, that was a harsh comment!

@vwman 👀. I think you are a lovely man and have been supportive to me as of late. But I wish you would THINK before you type and also stop assuming you know what every man is thinking.

@vwman Thanks for assuming you know me and MrSAS and our relationship goals. Maybe that was the case with him but as I spent 2 months with him I am going to go out on a limb and assume I know him slightly better and as he wasn't faithful in his marriage of 20+ years either, i don't think a committed LTR with one person is what he's after.

You really don't come across as a very nice or emotionally aware person and I didn't need another man to make me feel shit about myself at the moment, so cheers.

@vwman there are a lot of people here who share positive and negative stories but I think one has to be mindful how one comments. What you said was a bit too blunt even if you thought it and probably ended up hurting the OP.

@vwman that was an unnecessary and rude comment, kicking sunshine when she was down

You can't know what every man is thinking and even if you want to generalise, you can only keep it to your age range, background and lifestyle - you really won't know what a lot of men are thinking and your guesses will be as good as everyone else's

I'm a lurker who is recently posting and the support people give and receive here is great.

But this isn't one of those times. 2 months is a rather long time to wait for a FWB!

It's always refreshing to get a man's perspective but you constantly chime in like you know best & that might not always be appreciated. We're all navigating this very confusing, strange and recently new world! If we had all the answers we wouldn't be here

@Sunshineandflipflops his indecision/flakiness/fear of commitment is all about him, not you.

The PP wants to frame it is as your man wanting a relationship, not just with you

You know now he cheats.

So the moment someone with a cheating past who knows you're in this with him for a relationship bows out, you know the dysfunction comes from him

It's not that you aren't good enough or did something wrong, or you would be perfect if... it's his issues showing through

And this would be the case for I anyone, or with the genders flipped