Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

jesuis no second date - when you know, you know, positively or negatively. He asked, I said no, we have been warm and mutually supportive as we move on. There are some really great guys out there, but Cassettes’ search for her hot and funny and ready-for-a-LTR one continues.

@CassettesAreCool Fair enough - I just feel I need to fly the flag sometimes for the shy, retiring types who get an immediate thumbs down, but you're right, when you know, you know - onwards and upwards...

That was uncalled for vwman 😕

Bloody hell vwman did someone remove your filter? If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

And yes there are loads of men on the apps that just want FWB even if they don't make that clear on their profiles or say otherwise. I've met quite a few of them!

I think topless photos (unless they are happy beach shots) are a clear indication that man is just looking for sex. Swipes left.

Oh vwman I usually don't bother to interact with you as I'm sure you enjoy the attention but seriously do bore off. Your misogynistic and generalisation comments are unwelcome.

@CassettesAreCool That is a shame. No sense of humour would be intolerable though. Life would be no fun. Quiet is fine (MrSG is pretty quiet and unassuming, but he’s also fit and funny) but humourless is not.

I am not keen on chest shots. And certainly not the lying in bed ones. I have no idea why anyone thinks we’d care about their car (it almost made me want to post a photo of my decade old crappy car in retaliation). On the other hand, I think the dogs thing might actually attract people (not me, but I’d imagine it’d be on some people’s swipe right list).

I’m with everyone on the need to think before typing and to support each other. Even if MrSAS is after a LTR ultimately, it doesn’t excuse behaving like a player along the way. In fact, behaving like a player is almost certainly counter active if that’s your goal. Stringing someone along is just crap.

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm sorry I apologise, that was insensitive, I wish I could give you a hug IRL at the moment. I will say no more to try to justify what I think actually happened.

vwman We spoke about this earlier in the week, and it's still continuing now. Making huge generalisations about men and their motives when in actual fact you don't have any more of a clue than I do.

All I actually know is there's a lovely woman in sunshineandflipflops who needs our support right now, not kicking when she's in the middle of a grieving period of a relationship she thought was great.

Nobody wants you to justify what you think happened because you don't know and never will know. This comment on the end of your message is just making the former part of your sentence seem even more insincere than when I first read it. Really, if you don't have anything constructive and helpful to say, don't say it. And please for the love of god stop generalising men.

@Auba14 I'm not sure I'd waste your breath about trying to stop the generalisations. They've been going on for a while with no sign of stopping.

Asleepallday "It's not that you aren't good enough or did something wrong, or you would be perfect if... it's his issues showing through"

Agree wholeheartedly with this, spot on imo!

Sounds like my photos should be ok then, no bed or half naked shots, no cars or fish, just one of me being attacked by my mental dog while I was trying to take a selfie 🤣

Thanks but I’m picky about who I hug.

And thanks everyone else x

@Sunshineandflipflops nailed it!

She sure did

I'd laugh at a dog photo like that ant

High five ✋ sunshine

Whatever you might think of me, it is because I am straight talking honest WYSIWYG man, some of you might actually like me if you met me. But because I feel secure I forget others don't, and I can't trust myself not to hurt you on here. My intentions were good but I just fuck up too many times. I hope you all find happiness. Some may let out a cheer but I will withdraw.

And in further proof Tinder does work....we've booked our first holiday! Okay, so it's not till October due to us needing to go out of season, but it's ours and we're mega excited already with the countdown timers on our phones

I'm hoping you guys can help, she's unwell at the moment. It's literal burn out and she's exhausted, on the verge of tears for the past few days and really just needs a day in bed asleep but can't happen because of the business (and it just so happens this weekend is the busiest weekend of the year for trade!). I'm going up tonight after work, can anyone think of something nice to buy her to take as a treat? No alcohol. I was going to buy her some new pyjamas from Next she's had her eye on and a face mask, but any other suggestions welcome!

And in further proof Tinder does work....we've booked our first holiday!

Ooh. Exciting. Where are you going?

PJs and a face mask sounds lovely, especially if she’s had her eye on them.

Thank you!

We're going to Greece :) The only place we could think of really that isn't too hot as we are both blonde, pale skinned Northerners!

Lovely. It’ll be nice in October.

MrSG and I are taking our gaggle of children to the south of France in the summer. Because that’s the kind of weather you want to be slightly ginger in (makes no difference to me; I’ve got olive skin and DS2 is positively yellow skinned). 😂

Oh thank god he's gone. I know exactly Vwmans type, I think we all do. Misogynist dressed up as a sensitive person. Probably with a pony tail, to boot. Pretending to be nice but always on the lookout for a shag and a vulnerable woman. Because a strong woman wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

I know that's mean but FFS.

Well said @Sunshineandflipflops.

Thank god for @Ant330 @HairyArsedMan @StarryUnicorn and sadly missed @MrDrummer to keep reminding us some men are nice!

Peanuthedz no idea what VWman looked like but his comments were often unpleasant with sweeping misogynistic generalisations. I don't think he added anything to the thread and I'm glad that he has gone.

Auba14 what a lovely outcome. I'm sure you will have a lovely holiday.

I know the pony tail comment was unnecessary and mean. I have dated men with pony tails. 😬

@peanuthedz I'd like to add @richdeniro to your list of nice men. (And I'd love an update from rich too). And I'd love @mrdrummer to come back.

Really can't believe anyone could be so hurtful vwman

What is it with men today...
spoke to 3 different men on tinder. They are straight in with some form of sex talk.

Is it too much to ask, that they at least try and hold a normal conversation for more than 24 hours first.